Once upon a time, long after the feminist revolution dawned and yet before we could spell the word–let alone understand it–we were little girls. We knew we were equals to boys and no one was going to tell us we weren’t going to play kickball at recess with the toughest of them.

But if little Johnny knocked me over and didn’t stop to smile and help me up, well, then I told all of my friends he was a jerk. And this idea of “I’m as good as you so treat me like a princess” found itself a little home in our confused minds and it took over…without an invitation.

As we awkwardly tiptoed into the land of dating, this entire concept, fraudulent as it seems, was still very real. I’ve always been independent, strong, confident, smart (maybe a little full of myself, too), and was taught to believe that no guy could outdo me in ANYthing. So why did my mom tell me to let Eric pay for dinner on my first date? Why did my friends think it was “sweet” that he opened doors for me? How can we truly be equals if chivalry is still a card in this game? Read More »

The other night, while eating dinner with a friend at one of the 4874 Thai restaurants in my neighborhood, we got into a discussion about being single.

“I’ve decided that deep down, no girl really wants to be alone,” my friend announced as she cut into her spring rolls. “Even if she says she doesn’t want a boyfriend, if the right guy stepped into her life, she’d take him.”

“What about So-And-So?” I asked, naming another mutual friend. “She kept saying how happy she was without a guy, and how she was too busy anyway. She seemed fine.”

“Didn’t you hear? Last month she landed a dude.” My friend handed me half of her spring roll, using the other half to point in my direction. “She bumped into this guy at a party and two weeks later she was updating her Facebook status to read So-And-So is totally in love.”

“Ew. Really?” Inwardly, I was jealous. When was the last time I had updated my Facebook status to say I was totally in love? Never, I realized, since the last time I was in love, Facebook hadn’t even been invented.

“Really.” My friend declared. “Us women all need to face the fact that being single just isn’t our natural stasis.” Read More »

So I went on a date. Goooo me! My grandma would be so proud. “Just get out there” she says. And get out there I did.

Everything went well, we talked prior to meeting up and we emailed on a pretty frequent basis. And much to my surprise there was nothing awkward about it. In fact, it was all oddly comfortable.

None of that boring history of “this is every insignificant detail of my childhood that you don’t really care about, but I’m just going to tell you because we have nothing better to discuss and I hope it gets more exciting from here”. But rather, I felt as if I was schmoozing with an old friend. This could be something really good, I thought.

And suddenly, this first date with a stranger thing was looking a whole lot more promising.

Even the date itself went smoothly and based from my friend’s horror stories and some of my far from fun past experiences, I was more than thrilled not to have to execute my pre-arranged escape plan. We talked for two hours and nothing about it was awkward (thank you, lord–I owe you one)

In fact, it was the opposite. I clearly was so at ease that I proceeded to talk about my Teddy Bear, Snuggles, who I still sleep and travel with. (Normal, I am not).

So naturally, one would think “Success! When are we going out next?” (And my grandma, bless her little foreign heart, would start shopping for a dress). Read More »

~CHecK oUT mY FRee WeBcaM!~

No thanks, Fembot.

Online-dating sites, while fun and successful for those in the know, can be very daunting to your average, not-so-computer-savvy individual. Getting lost in the sea of PC-murdering spam and creepy come-hithers when looking for a date online is quite simple when you don’t have a clue what to do.

What gives, internet?

Bridging the gap between the informal, formal and humorous is WooMe, an intuitive way to meet people online in a more interactive fashion. Read More »

Remember that LDR that I’m sooo into? And remember how I talked about how life was continuously shatting in my face but I was working on loving myself despite the crap?

Well, apparently life hasn’t stopped piling on the sh*t, because last night I was dumped by my LDR. Cool, huh? That’s what I said.

But f*ck it, it’s the weekend! I say forget the life dump and decide to dump your life in favor of a f*cking good time!

So here, I provide you with my Break-Up Survival Kit, so you can get back on your feet and back into the bar!

1)Chamomile Tea Bags- Soak them in some cold water, squeeze them out and place them over your puffy eyes. Do this a few times and your eyes are guaranteed not to look as swollen as they were last night. Plus, the smell is rather soothing as well! Double duty.

2)Your Possee- You need your support system. So call until they pick up and then wail and wail and wail. They will understand that you need them. Then tell them that tomorrow they must drag you out to a bar for a girls night. You might even score a few free drinks! Love the ladies!

4)Your drug of choice- If you feel it coming (like I did, I have great intution) get a little drunk first. Yes, it will make you more emotional and probably more irrational but who the hell isn’t both of things when you’re getting broken up with anyways. Read More »

So, there’s no denying it—its Fall. The weather is cooling off, kids are pushing me down the subway stairs on their way to school, and department stores are setting their display tables with turkeys and Santa Clauses.

Those long summer nights and romantic strolls on the beach are pretty much finished (unless you like freezing water stinging your face), but just because the leaves are dying, doesn’t mean the romance has to.

Here are a few dating ideas that can only happen in the Fall.

• Apple picking: Even if you live in the city, there’s got to be an apple orchard somewhere close to you, and talking a beautiful walk through rows and rows of apple trees is simply amazing. You can soak up the Fall air, get a few apple-tinged goodies (apple cider donuts = heaven), and do something active with the one you love (or are beginning to love).

• Do the Fairs: Street fairs, country fairs, fall is the perfect time to grab your sweetie’s hand and pull them towards farm stands or a rickety Ferris wheel that looks like it might kill you both. There are plenty of fairs happening in September and October, all you gotta do is Google them. Read More »

As stressful and spirit-crushing as dating can sometimes be, going on dates is one of my favorite things to do.

I love the getting-ready ritual of hair removal, spending half an hour on mascara application, and going through your entire closet before you settle on The Dress.

I love having doors held open and chairs pulled out, awkward filler conversation while waiting for your dinner to arrive, and even the more awkward moment of truth, the kiss goodnight. Of course, that scenario is often just a fantasy that as college students, we can’t really afford.

And so, “dating” often consists of watching TV in your sweats, grabbing a slice of pizza, and a half-assed make out session in the backseat of his father’s minivan.

Frankly, there’s no excuse for still dating like high school freshman in our 20’s. Just because your wallet can’t handle a 5-course meal over candlelight doesn’t mean you’re doomed to dating doldrums.

Here are some fun, cheap date ideas to get you off the couch and in each other’s pants:

Get on thin ice: If you can find an indoor ice-skating rink, this is fun regardless of weather. And it’s especially fun if at least one of you is a nightmare on skates—it gives you the perfect excuse to hold hands and fall all over each other.

Foreplay on ice! Read More »

Remember your first time?

Whether it was awesome or clumsy or downright awkward, most of us at least tried to make it great by the pre-V card-losing ambiance. A little soft music, a two hour window when our parents would be out seeing a movie, some incense…you know, the typical teenage decoration.

What your first time probably didn’t include was a house catching fire and burning down around you.

An 18-year-old German girl made her first time an experience to remember last week when she lit some candles that eventually set her bedroom curtains aflame. Trying to impress her guy with a little soft lighting, the girl ended up burning half her house down, forcing her and her beau to run outside completely naked as flames engulfed the entire upper floor. Read More »

I have a confession: I’m an online dater.

A little over a year ago, after my Big Breakup of 2006, I decided I needed to get out there. And get out there, I did. I dated my way through New York City, often with humorous results. Some dates turned into brief relationships, some turned into ranting emails to my best friend.

And though I was pretty picky about what I was looking for, I learned all too often that there is a difference between how a guy presents himself in answers to questions in an online profile and how he actually acts sitting in front of you, over too many glasses of Sangria.

And since sharing is caring, dear readers, if you ever find yourself trolling online personals, keep an eye open for the following red flags I’ve noticed and know what to expect:

He leaves the “Occupation” field blank, or answers it with something like “Who cares?”

He is either unemployed or hates his job with a passion, which he will talk your ear off about on your date. Before sticking you with the bill when you half-heartedly offer to pay. Read More »

Oh, how I love this column! Week after week I get to vent to all of you about the things that annoy us the most.

This week, I can answer my own question and say no, this is absolutely NOT necessary.

E-mails. What a great way to send someone a note, or perhaps tell them how you feel. Text messages, phone calls, even private Facebook messages are fabulous avenues for two-way communication.

Now, dear reader, please don’t think that I am not giving you enough credit by stating the obvious. I know that you are well aware of these communication methods.

So, can someone puh-lease explain why, if you and I understand how easy it is to send a private message to tell someone how we feel, those in a relationship must shout it out Leonardo DiCaprio style on the tip of the Titanic?

Thankfully, that ship sank. Wish I could say the same about the love notes posted between couples on Facebook walls.

We get it. You are in love. We know this because your relationship status says so. And that’s great for you. Embrace it! Shower each other with gifts and pet names!

Just don’t write paragraph long wall posts day after day proclaiming your love to “snuggle-button”, recapping your “incredible” weekend together and how you are counting down the minutes (three thousand four hundred and twenty-two to be exact) until you see each other next. Read More »