"Ok, so I'm on top. What do I do now!?"

Losing your virginity is huge. It’s been built up since the birds and the bees talk, and everyone you know gives you a different description of what it’s actually going to be like.

Grandma preaches about how she waited for marriage and how the only man she ever slept with was your grandfather, which kept her from getting those dirty diseases the youngsters are getting these days. Your parents just beg you to wait for college when you’re out of their house, and protect yourself so you aren’t bringing home their grandchildren on your winter break. Then there’s your slutty friend who boasted about how great it was and had all the boys following her through the halls of high school.

But when we sit down and look back on how it actually was when we decided to lose our virginity, it isn’t easily summed up into one simple tip or anecdote. It was more like a 30-minute (if you were one of the lucky ones) progression into womanhood.

After reading The Frisky’s perspective on the stages men go through when losing their virginity, I was not only enlightened (seriously, who knew guys thought so much?!), but it got me thinking of my own first time and the stages I went through as it was all goin’ down.

Perhaps you can relate… Read More »

Forever a dreamer, I have lived through movies. I wanted to change the bad boy like Reese Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions. I wanted a wardrobe like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. And mostly, I wanted to dance my way to sex like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing (and not in the frat party/grinding sorta way).

Keep dreaming, right?

However, after spending lots of time analyzing my favorite movies, I’ve realized that it’s not so hard for the everyday man to create a movie moment in everyday life. Sure, finding a Leonardo DiCaprio to sketch my naked body on a sinking ship might be hard (and not ideal considering the ending), but many of the most romantic gestures in movies aren’t so hard to manage, even without a script: Read More »

So ABC’s new show, “Dating in the Dark,” is weird. Like, really weird. Three girls and three guys meet in the pitch dark, often make out, and then get to see one another. They then have to decide if they want to go on actual dates with the people they have just seen.

Wait, that’s not so weird. It sounds like the same thing that happens nightly in college bars from coast to coast. Only on TV.

Much like the feeling of repulsion that has come over many of us after last call, the people on the show who really hit it off in the dark aren’t such fans of each other once the lights flip on.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but this doesn’t really cast people in the best light (no pun intended), right?

Maybe it’s because I’m most often attracted to a guy’s personality before I start to find him cute, but I can’t imagine rejecting a dude on the basis of looks alone if I’ve already felt a strong connection with him. I wouldn’t date a guy that I wasn’t attracted to, but personality totally takes a guy from zero to ten (OK, maybe 5 to 10). If I liked him in the dark, especially enough for a little tonsil hockey, I’d like to think I’d be happy in the light, too.

But that is not what’s happening here. Read More »

Instead of educating myself with the help of intellectual books, I have spent my whole life devouring romance novel after romance novel, missing out on some much-needed sleep and creating completely unrealistic expectations about men and love.

After spending ten years with guys named Damien and Chace who lock eyes with a woman across the room, embark on rocky waters, and finally end up in paradise with the one and only person who could make them change their playboy ways, I began to crave a bit of reality in my life.

After all, how many men could there possible be with the “largest piece of manhood she’d ever seen,” who were also rich, gorgeous, and emotionally accessible only to me?

Yeah, it was time for a heaping tablespoon of reality and Jane Green served it to me. Narrated by Tasha, a woman who sleeps with men to overcome her emotional issues Straight Talking “sets the record straight regarding the real world of dating,” and deals with real people and real problems that people who date in real life encounter. Tasha and her three best friends mimic the Sex and the City group, meeting up for weekly get-togethers and dishing on their latest men.  However, their men mirror ones encountered in reality.  They date salesmen and accountants, not professional athletes and sexy policemen.  They stumble upon issues like sexual intimacy and picking between Mr. Right and Mr. So-Hot-It-Hurts.  Their stories mesh together to create a novel that any type of girl can relate to, from thel hook-up-every-night chick to the one saving yourself for marriage gal.

Tasha’s flashbacks on past relationships allow readers to see how even the most seemingly insignificant of men leave a lasting mark on a woman’s outlook towards dating and love, and how even a small three-month relationship can break your heart.  If you have ever felt like crying in the middle of class or stared at your cell phone wondering why somebody hasn’t called you, Green’s characters empathize as they try to outsmart the men who have all the tools to break their hearts.  She looks at heartbreak, friendship, and sex the way that real people do.  Read More »

When I first heard that Joe Jonas couldn’t keep it together post break up with girlfriend Camille Belle and sobbed on stage during a show, I thought it was adorbs. A guy who is in touch with his emotions and willing to let it all out in front of 25,000 people? Be still my heart.

But then I started to wonder if weepy boyf is really all that appealing. Or if any of the qualities we look for in guys are really all that great in reality. We all want that perfect clean-cut, handsome, sensitive, funny and smart guy who dresses well and treats us like a princess. But why? If you’re “lucky” enough to find him, you’ll soon realize he can’t give you your happy ending after all.

The Dream: A nice clean-cut boy toy.
The Reality: Okay, so guys tend to be dirtier than women. And sometimes it can just be gross. Really gross. And what’s worse than having than a guy with crusty armpits on his shirts and a faint aroma of fart? Uh, how about a guy who takes longer to get ready than you, or one who douses himself in Axe so you can smell him 10 minutes before he shows up at your door? Or a guy who makes you look and feel like total crap on a Sunday when you’re too hungover to shower, so you take the day off?

The Dream: A guy who takes care of himself
The Reality: As many of us can attest, there isn’t much less attractive than a dude with random patches of hair on his back/shoulders/between his brows/in his nose. And no one can deny that running your hands over a smooth hair-free chest (with six-pack abs) feels amazing.  But when you’re getting a manicure with the girls, you don’t want to have to see your guy come in for his 2 hour body waxing appointment. Or deal with all. that. stubble when it starts to grow back. And have you ever interacted with bald balls? Yeah, I always wanted a guy to do a little trimmy trim down there too…until my guy did.

Take it from me: SCARY. Read More »

Ah, the LDR . . . it’s one of the most talked-about relationship types ever, and for good reason—there’s just so much to say about it. Should you do it? Shouldn’t you? For some people, it’s not so bad, and for others, it’s absolutely never going to work. But if you find the right person and it just happens to be the wrong time in your life to physically be in the same place, is an LDR worthwhile? Here’s a breakdown of the pros and cons:

ADVANTAGES

Be a total pig: If you’re not exactly Mr. Clean, your significant other never needs to know unless he or she comes to visit, in which case you can do a total sweep of the house in time for the arrival. In fact, it’s easy to cover up a lot of bad habits if you’re in a long-distance relationship. As long as you can hold off pounding down the Cheetos or compulsively biting your nails for the short times when you do actually see the person you’re dating, you can otherwise freely indulge in your vices.

Time for yourself: This is a biggie. If you still like to hit up the bar with your friends or spend all your spare time watching college football games, there’s no boyfriend or girlfriend to stop you in an LDR. In a way, it’s the best of both worlds—you get to date a great person while still enjoying one of the biggest benefits of being single: time. Read More »

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“I don’t know if we should talk about this…”

“And why not? Everybody has sex!”

“Yeah, but everybody should be making love.”

“Come on, how many guys do you know making love?”

–Salt N Pepa, “Let’s Talk About Sex”

In the past six months, I’ve had sex. I’ve been laid. I f*cked. However, it’s been a long time since I’ve made love, and I kind of miss it. Some people might argue that there’s no difference – physically, they are the same. But emotionally, passionately, and mentally, the two deeds are very different.

1. The First Time.

The first time you make love with your partner, it’s usually a very special moment. It’s often planned out in advance, especially in new relationships. There’s often sensual foreplay, and your bodies fit together perfectly.

If it’s your first time with a new partner and you’re just having sex, it may be spontaneous. Your partner may not be your boyfriend, or even your crush, and the decision to go all the way is frequently a hormonal (thanks, booze!) impulse. First time sex can be sloppy and awkward as you try to find the right position, and after everything’s said and done, it feels like there was something missing. Read More »

Derrick* and I used to have great sex. We were both passionate, experimental, and great in bed (hey, confidence is a turn-on, right?). But lately we have been in a rut, and I blame it on lube.

But, you say, artificial lubricant is great for drunk sex, or extremely long sex, or sex with someone extremely well endowed, because it keeps you from drying out and damaging your goodies. Yes, lube is great in these situations. My problem with lube is that, for us, it has become a replacement for foreplay.

And that is not okay.

The first time it happened I was hanging out at Derrick’s after a long day at work and very tired. He wanted sex, but I was feeling lazy and just wanted to play Sudoku on my phone. “Please,” he begged, “just let me put it in; I’ll get lube, you don’t have to do anything, you can even keep playing Sudoku.” This offer was too tempting to pass up; imagine telling my girls later that I played Sudoku while having sex! I didn’t expect good sex, but figured it would be worth it just for the funny story. He put lube on and went at it. I ended up putting down the phone half-way through and getting a little into it, but it still wasn’t very good. Read More »

I’ve officially been re-bitten by the travel bug. During the school year my traveling urges go into a slight hibernation as I am far too busy getting my study on to dream of far off places and the trips I’d like to take. There are times, though, when my studies get too boring and I find myself planning imaginary trips to London, England or Walt Disney World (yes, this is fact. Unfortunately).

Since I don’t have the money to jet-set around the world, I’ve found books set in exotic and foreign destinations are the best way to whet my traveling appetite. They allow me to leave my home without getting out of bed, and cost a fraction of the price of a ticket to Italy. And “Left Bank” by Kate Muir allows me to do all of that while also enjoying a little steamy romance.

The book is set in Paris, France, one of the most desired travel spots on the planet and also one of my top 5 cities. Ever.

Paris is famous for having the River Seine run right through, separating the city into the Right Bank and, you guessed it, the Left Bank. The Left Bank is notorious for playing host to the rich, powerful, snobby and of course, as most Europeans, extremely well-dressed. Read More »