Can a website help roomies get along?

The most romantic cities in America.

7 tips for running into your ex gracefully.

Lindsay Lohan gets a real job! Well, maybe.

Too bad he’s a total douche.

Bethenny may not be done with ‘Housewives’ after all!

Ew.

I think I may have a serious problem, and I don’t think I am the only woman to have it.

No, I’m not pregnant. No, I don’t have any sort of STI.

I am just romantically challenged.

I literally repel romance. For some reason, if a guy comes around with flowers, or gushy text messages with emo lyrics, or, heaven forbid, shares his feelings, I don’t know how to react. I’m either shocked, freaked out, or just plain confused.

One of my ex’s is a guitar player and I loved going to his shows around town. All was good and fine when I was just a common spectator enjoying his music. But when he wrote a song for me and played it for me, I thought I was in a bad-romance-novel-turned-even-worse-movie that would never end. I didn’t know where to look or put my hands. Should I smile? Do I fake a tear? Do I saw awww while he continues to strum away on the guitar and spew out lyrics about love? I had my own personal Jack Johnson and was turned off by him.

But why? Shouldn’t I be happy, joyous, or even giddy? Doesn’t every girl want a boy to bring her flowers for no reason and tell her how he feels?

Well, the idea of it sounds wonderful to me, but in reality it kinda makes me queasy. I mean, why do we have to hold hands all the damn time?

I think women today, including me, are simply desensitized by romance. Many women are just products of our generation of technology, instant gratification, and too many romantic comedies. Maybe I’m romantically challenged because I am so accustomed to the anti-romantic relationships of today where Facebook messages replace phone calls, text messages replace love letters, and hooking-up replaces dates.

There is no more courting in college – where you truly get to know a guy before hooking up, where he pursues you without expectations, and is honest about his romantic intentions. Ok, so maybe there is some, but certainly not enough. And maybe never experiencing it is what makes it so weird when we do.

This is not to say that it is simply the fault of today’s boys out there for my total romance intolerance. I am just as responsible. I am just as eager to hook up with a guy before I really know him, or chug beers with him at frat parties and drunkenly stumble into his room. Of course I am romantically challenged – I’m not giving any guys a chance to be romantic. And so many of us college ladies are the same way.

Are we setting our expectations low so its easier for guys to impress us? Have most guys evolved past the point of flowers or romance so that when once in a blue moon a guy is romantic it’s considered creepy?

I don’t know the answers to most of those questions, but I do know that maybe a flower or two from a cute boy is okay. And maybe I should try to be more romantic with myself and wait a while before pouncing on a guy, giving him the chance to court me.

And that someone can be anyone: a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a best friend, your dog. It just feels good to be loved.

I remember the first time my dad told me he loved me. We aren’t really one of those “I love you” families that shares feelings (unless making really sarcastic jokes at one another’s expense counts), so it wasn’t until I was off at college that I heard my dad say those words. At first I panicked, called my mom and asked if he was dying (true story). But when she told he was fine (“I’d tell you if he was dying, dear.”) and that he’d just been talking lately about how proud he was of me and how much he loved me, it just felt…good. Like I was warming up from the inside.

It bothers me that the focus of Valentine’s Day rests so heavily on “romantic love,” because there is just so much love out there that should be cherished. Whether or not you have someone to get naked with exchange chocolates with on Sunday, we all have a lot of love in our lives. And we can’t forget it. This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share one moment when they really felt loved. If these don’t melt your heart (like the gooey chocolate on a fresh-baked cookie), I don’t know what will.

Ricki – University of Michigan: When my ex got back from Puerto Rico at 1am, the first thing he is was drive over to my house just to say goodnight and he missed me before going back home and crashing.

Rachael – University of Miami: For my 21st birthday, my friends did two amazingly sweet things: my closest friends, who live next door, secretly baked me a cookie cake the night before my birthday and came to my room about a quarter to midnight to surprise me and wish me happy birthday. A few nights later, a friend who I hadn’t been able to see on my birthday cooked dinner for me and two other friends. He went all out – amazing homemade curry, rice, and naan, a fresh salad, fruit, place settings, the whole deal. Just the fact that they put so much effort into doing something special for me made me incredibly happy, and was the best part of my whole birthday weekend.

Kim – Stanford: Freshmen year after only being at school for less than a month, my amazing new friends through me a huge surprise birthday party! I remember being shocked because I had only known these girls for about 30 days and I already knew they would be my best friends throughout college… and they still are!

Nina – Michigan State University: I was in a long-distance relationship at the time, and I’d been traveling all day so I could visit my boyfriend. The weather was crappy, and I just wanted him to hurry and pick me up. We were supposed to meet in a public square, so I was just standing there with my luggage, feeling annoyed that he was late. Suddenly he came from behind me with the most adorable smile I’ve ever seen and a bouquet of flowers. Bad day? Not anymore.

Carly – Grinnell: I am so loved, so it’s hard to pick just one thing. I think it’s a three-way tie. 1: Despite getting severe heat stroke and running out of water to drink, my mom stayed with my friends and I at an all-day outdoor concert when we were preteens just so we could see the Backstreet Boys perform at the end of the day. 2: My old boyfriend was visiting his family in India and swore he would have to miss my college graduation because he couldn’t get back in time. Then he booked a different flight to surprise me. 3: Sophomore year, my friends made a scavenger hunt for me for my birthday. They did HOURS of prep work and hid clues literally all over campus. It was the BEST!!

Hannah – Assumption College: Sophomore year a guy that I had just met from a different school called me on Valentine’s Day saying that he had something for me. He had come onto my campus with the gate guard telling him he had five minutes to find me. He showed up at my door with a single yellow rose for me. Yellow roses are my favorite and it was such a sweet gesture.

Sara C – Fordham: This may sound corny, but around last Valentine’s day I was very low on funds and generally surviving off cereal and pasta. For V-Day my mother bought me a beautiful green cardigan and told me that no matter what, you should always have some luxury because you should always feel beautiful. It was a simple gift but I still cherish it.

Leah – Ryerson University: My bathroommates made me a birthday “shrine” in our bathroom for my 19th bday.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: I had to fly to Wisconsin for a week, and when I got back my boyfriend ran up the escalator just so he could kiss me sooner.

Jackelyn – San Francisco State University: The guy I was dating last year never showed any appreciation for me. I’m a hopeless romantic, so in the first stages of a relationship, I LOVED celebrating the monthsaries. He, on the other hand, didn’t. So when another monthsary came around and nothing happened, I was a bit disappointed. My best guy friend who understood what had happened came to my house later that night with flowers and stuffed animals for me! He wanted to make sure I knew that even though this guy didn’t get me anything, that I was still loved. Probably the sweetest thing ever!

Brittany – University of Saint Thomas: Simple and sweet, a boy I dated in high school and I were sitting at lunch one afternoon. Lunch of the day: Chicken Chow Mein (ew). Regardless, fortune cookies were also on the menu.  My boyfriend (sitting promptly right next to me) opened his fortune cookie, looked up at me, smiled, and moved to the other corner of the table.  As a young high school woman and clearly in love, I was outraged. Um, hello?  Then, he handed me his fortune which said: Love is around the corner.   I melted in a puddle of adolescent mush.

Desiree – Columbia University: Before we started dating, my current boyfriend bought me an espresso brownie from Starbucks and brought it to my room at midnight on my birthday. He stuck a candle in it, lit the candle with a lighter that had my zodiac sign on it, and sang happy birthday. That was when I knew I needed to date him for real. I still have that lighter, too.

Charlsie – Hollins University: The most romantic thing my boyfriend has ever done for me was make a trail of Hershey Kisses from his car (with notes attached that said things like “I Love You”) to a hiding spot in the bushes. After following the trail, I found him where he was holding a sign that said “To me, you are perfect” (just like in Love Actually). That moment has been pretty unforgettable.

Christie – NC State University:For my birthday this year I had a plan set, but the day of it fell through. I was in my room crying, because I wasn’t sure what to do (I never celebrate my birthday and I had my hopes up for the one time I decided to), but my friends came up with a list of activities and taped them to my door with cheerful messages. It ended up being one of my best birthdays ever, and none of my friends were disappointed or backed out.

Brithny – Duke: He told me that he wanted me to meet his mom. And gave me an oatmeal raisin cookie she mailed over.

Emmy- Loyola University Chicago: One summer I traveled through Australia and New Zealand. My old boyfriend wrote me a bunch of letters for while I was gone, and I got to open up a new one every other day. He even drew me pictures and wrote me silly poems, and they were the most adorable letters I have ever received.

Jessica – Delaware: I haven’t dated the most romantic guys, but I have the best friends in the world. The nicest thing they’ve ever done is throw me an amazing surprise birthday party in my friends apartment. Some even traveled for hours just to be there!

"I really wish you'd give a little more between the sheets..."

Girls are known for nagging. It’s not something we’re proud of, but, honestly, do we really have a choice? If we didn’t pester our boyfriends we would never get them out of their man cave and into a civilized restaurant.

But despite the fact that guys don’t whine and give us puppy dog eyes when they want us to do something, it turns out that they their own list of secret wishes when it comes to our behavior.

The dudes over at Guyism.com recently shared all the things they secretly wish their girlfriend would do. While we won’t be enjoying Fantasy Football anytime soon (seriously WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT?!), we do understand the allure of the sexy Halloween costume and promise to continue sporting it every year.

This little list was quite enlightening (guys like funny girls? Score!) and got us thinking (as usual) about the things that we secretly wish they would do.

Our boyfriends are wonderful; we love them more than anything. But if they did some (or preferably all) of the following, we’d be sending a mass text for a girls night ASAP to brag to all of our girlfriends about how absolutely amazing our guy is (and chances are they’ll be getting a little luckier then usual come bedtime…).

[Click on any image to view the gallery!]

What else do you girls secretly wish your boyfriends would do?

Easy.

It’s like your mom always said: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Even if you aren’t exactly Julia Child, you can still follow instructions, and that’s all you need to do to bust out a romantic dinner that’ll have him drooling for your food and bolting with you to the bedroom.

Trust me, it’s way better to make food for your dude than take him out. Anyone can whip out a credit card, but it makes you look extra-special if you can whip out a spatula and use it like you’re supposed to. Plus, it’s obviously sweeter to make dinner than to buy it, and it gives you the opportunity to tailor what you make to what your guy really likes. (And it might even inspire him to cook for you . . . swoon!)

Before you get carried away, don’t go all Bridget Jones and try to make super-fancy recipes for multiple courses. Keep it simple, especially if you don’t have a ton of cooking experience. Odds are, your guy loves the classics: what meat-eating man would deny a nicely grilled steak or a plate of spaghetti just like his mom used to make?

So set out that tablecloth, light those candles, put on some tunes, and give these two tried-and-true recipes a whirl.

CHICKEN PARMESAN LINGUINE
6 oz linguine
1 chicken breast
1 tablespoon butter
2 garlic cloves, sliced thinly
6 oz mushrooms (any kind works)
1/4 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, shaved or grated
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Fresh parsley to garnish

1. Boil linguine for 8-10 minutes in a pot of salted water. Drain.
2. Chop up the chicken breast in bite-sized pieces.
3. In a saucepan, melt the butter. Add the garlic cloves and chicken pieces. Cook for 2-3 minutes or until chicken pieces begin to brown.
4. Add the mushrooms. Stir occasionally until the mushrooms release juices.
5. Add the white wine. Simmer until it’s reduced. (That means until all the wine is gone-zo.)
6. Add the heavy whipping cream. When it starts to bubble, turn off the heat and pour in the Parmesan, basil, and pepper. Combine the sauce with the noodles.
7. Garnish with the parsley right before serving.
8. Watch your boy melt into your hands like butter in a skillet.

CHOCOLATE FONDUE
8 oz dark chocolate or chocolate chips
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon sugar
1 tablespoon hot water

1. In a heavy saucepan over low to medium heat, melt the chocolate with the heavy whipping cream. Stir often.
2. When the chocolate is melted and smooth, stir in the vanilla, sugar, and hot water.
3. Serve with cubes of pound cake, berries, or other fresh fruit. Or, you know, just stick your finger in there and lick it seductively. Whatever works.

Forever a dreamer, I have lived through movies. I wanted to change the bad boy like Reese Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions. I wanted a wardrobe like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. And mostly, I wanted to dance my way to sex like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing (and not in the frat party/grinding sorta way).

Keep dreaming, right?

However, after spending lots of time analyzing my favorite movies, I’ve realized that it’s not so hard for the everyday man to create a movie moment in everyday life. Sure, finding a Leonardo DiCaprio to sketch my naked body on a sinking ship might be hard (and not ideal considering the ending), but many of the most romantic gestures in movies aren’t so hard to manage, even without a script:

Kiss me and dip in a public spot: While most couples may become accustomed to the “Good-bye, see you later” peck, it is not really that difficult to kiss a girl for longer than a millisecond and bring in some impromptu passion. Although I personally hated Berger from Sex and the City, there is this great scene where he says to Carrie “We need a movie moment kiss” and then dips her in front of a museum or a library or some other spot where people are bound to swoon at this chivalrous man. Movie moment that takes about 5 seconds and leaves you breathless for the next hour? Not so hard.

Arrange to kiss in the rain: Next time there is a thunderstorm, don’t arrange to be in bed (just yet) watching a movie. Rather, drag me outside to kiss me in the rain. This becomes even more movie-like if we’ve just had a fight and are making up in the rain (but I don’t suggest starting a fight just to create a movie moment – I’m not that crazy). Besides it can only lead to one of two things: either a hot shower (hopefully together) to warm up, or fantastic sex where we rip each other’s wet clothes off of each other…both of which are also great movie moments.

Throw me up against a wall and make out. Seriously: For the greatest of sex scenes, think The Notebook. How hot would it be to walk into a party, look for your guy, and all of the sudden feel those hands on you that push you up against a wall and have to kiss you then and there? So long as he’s not too violent with it, moves like that totally get both of your hearts racing, and again, probably take about 10 seconds to complete. There’s nothing hotter than knowing that you have to have somebody right then and there, so if you’re the kind of person who isn’t into impromptu sex in a broom closet, this move will totally turn a girl on without embarrassing you both if you get caught.

Do cute things without being told to: One of my friends is just blessed with that gene that makes him plan surprise dates for his girlfriend every month or so. He leaves notes under her pillow, he plans surprise picnics, he doesn’t tell her where they’re going, and he gives her flowers for no reason. A lot of this stuff doesn’t cost much, but it’s so nice to see that your guy is thinking about you. Things like bringing each other coffee when you are stressed, popping over with Chinese food, and coming by just to say hi all take minimal effort but get maximum appreciation points. It’s not that girls want loads of money spent on them, we just want proof that the guys are thinking about us since we spend so much brainpower on them. Cute things are often relatively easy and will always earn a man brownie points.

Stay in contact: Leave a message telling your girl that you were thinking about her. If you’re at the library, text her saying you would rather be with her than with your books. Of course she can assume this, but it’s always nice to hear. Again, the little things go a long way, and then she can swoon to her friends about how much her guy appreciates her.

If you have other great moments that are easy to replicate in reality, share ‘em here! Then we can all pass this link on to the men in our lives and have our own real-life romantic movie moments.

But then I started to wonder if weepy boyf is really all that appealing. Or if any of the qualities we look for in guys are really all that great in reality. We all want that perfect clean-cut, handsome, sensitive, funny and smart guy who dresses well and treats us like a princess. But why? If you’re “lucky” enough to find him, you’ll soon realize he can’t give you your happy ending after all.

The Dream: A nice clean-cut boy toy.
The Reality: Okay, so guys tend to be dirtier than women. And sometimes it can just be gross. Really gross. And what’s worse than having than a guy with crusty armpits on his shirts and a faint aroma of fart? Uh, how about a guy who takes longer to get ready than you, or one who douses himself in Axe so you can smell him 10 minutes before he shows up at your door? Or a guy who makes you look and feel like total crap on a Sunday when you’re too hungover to shower, so you take the day off?

The Dream: A guy who takes care of himself
The Reality: As many of us can attest, there isn’t much less attractive than a dude with random patches of hair on his back/shoulders/between his brows/in his nose. And no one can deny that running your hands over a smooth hair-free chest (with six-pack abs) feels amazing.  But when you’re getting a manicure with the girls, you don’t want to have to see your guy come in for his 2 hour body waxing appointment. Or deal with all. that. stubble when it starts to grow back. And have you ever interacted with bald balls? Yeah, I always wanted a guy to do a little trimmy trim down there too…until my guy did.

Take it from me: SCARY.

The Dream: A guy who focuses on his body
The Reality: Hot, muscley guy? Delish. But a health freak who makes you feel bad when you’re eating an entire pizza and he’s nibbling on a carrot between trips to the gym? Awful. No woman wants to be the hefty one in the relationship (“I’ll have the burger and fries and he’s going to have the fat free fro you…”), so maybe a guy with a little meat on his bones isn’t such a bad thing. At least you’ll have someone to split that tube of cookie dough with.

The Dream: A total romantic
The Reality: Candlelight dinners, red wine, walks on the beach…amazing right? No, nauseating. Once in a while a nice romantic evening is awesome (if followed by some hot ‘n’ heavy action, of course), but when a guy is too romantic, or too mushy gushy, it’s just annoying. The pet names, the food names, the cutesy voices…if you wanted all that, you could date your grandma. You want a guy who will make you smile…not hurl.

See? That perfect guy you’ve been waiting for isn’t lookin’ so hot now, is he? Maybe tha burly, hairy, manly man is the one you’ve really been looking for all along.

And I don’t have any, but it definitely wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be some really intense situation where I’d feel completely different after the entire thing was over. And maybe it would have been had it lasted longer than 4 minutes. Instead, the entire sitch was just….weird. And when it was done? I didn’t feel more connected to my partner – I just felt sore downtown and a little bit sweaty.

Everyone’s first time is different, but do we all feel the same way going into it? What do guys think of losing their virginity, and what do they think about taking it from someone else? Let’s find out…

Got something you’d like to see us talk about? Leave it in the comments and we’ll have our dudes weigh in!

1. I’m going to spend it single.

2. I’m going to ENJOY it.

I’m going to spend my day imagining how absolutely fantastic and amazing it will be when I finally do find someone to love. Or at least someone I can stand for more than two consecutive months.

So, in keeping with this, I decided to make a playlist with all my favorite love songs (however offbeat and/or cheesy they may be). I’m not gonna spend my Thursday-before-V-Day getting wasted and depressed about all the lovey-dovey bullsh*t I’m going to have to put up with from my friends and their boyfriends the whole weekend. Nope, not me.

Instead, I’m going to sip red wine with my other single lady friends and attempt to manifest my perfect man…who will hopefully come strutting into my life sometime between tonight and Saturday morning.

Enjoy all the sappy goodness here!

Each week I’ll be putting together a cute and affordable “going out” ensemble guide (that you can tweak to your own personal style and body type, of course) so that maybe that age-old question can be answered a little quicker than usual. And your friends aren’t waiting - for hours - for you to emerge from your room. Just consider me your own (free) personal Rachel Zoe.]

So this weekend is quite a weekend: Friday the 13th, Valentine’s Day and a lovely 3 day weekend, all rolled into one.

In the spirit of the equally loved and hated V-Day, I decided to do a Valentine’s version of Night Styler with a super vampy outfit that those of us in relationships can wow our honeys with, and those of us going out in hopes that cupid points his arrow at us, can wow potential suitors with.

If nothing else, at least this holiday is a reason to rock the red.

I am so totally in love with this adorable dress I found on a recently discovered website, fashionjunkee.com. Of course, red is the color du jour for this particular holiday, but if you’re just looking for a damn cute dress to wear out, you can find it in 5 other colors.

 What better way to sexify those legs you’ll be showin’ off, than with some ultra-high black pumps. You can find both of these at Tarjay for under $30.

As always, Forever 21 is the place to go for all the right accessories at the right price. A small clutch/handbag is the way to go with an outfit like this, and in the spirit of looooove day, why not go with a cute lil’ heart-shaped bag?

You can’t really do a necklace with the shape of this dress, so glam it up with a cute up-do, and some big earrings.

And since hearts, candy and flowers are all associated with this romantic holiday, bring along your own flower, in the form of a fun cocktail ring.

There’s no doubt if you rock this outfit, you’ll be feelin’ the love this Valentine’s Day.