Guess what! Roseanne Barr (yes, that crazy nut) is officially running for president! Yep, the woman who can’t even sing the national anthem wants to be the President of the United States of America. She’s said some pretty insane things in the past. Looking at them again now, I can’t even imagine how funny her presidential speech would be. While I would never, ever vote for her, I kind of want her to go a little further with this just so I can see the mess that would be her campaign. What policies would she even implement? Well, in honor of Roseanne running for president, here are a few quotes that kinda make me scared of the answer…

“And if they are unable to live on that amount of that amount then they should, you know, go to the re-education camps and if that doesn’t help, then being beheaded.”

Take a wild guess what she’s talking about here: taxing the rich. So, basically, according to Roseanne, if the rich feel they can’t live off their incomes after paying taxes, they should have their heads chopped off…interesting, Roseanne.

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.” 

So…does Roseanne have Chronic Premenstrual Syndrome Syndrome? Yeah, I made up that syndrome but you get the point. Read More »

So Josh Hartnett has a sex tape. God heard our prayers! What we wouldn’t give to see that thing…in IMAX. [Wipes drool off of desk.] Knowing this (and praying that we can one day watch it) got us thinking: what does one eat while watching a sex tape? Popcorn? Edible underwear?

Also, who else would we want to see starring in their very own sex tape?

Ed Westwick, fo sho.

The teacher from the new 90210.

Ourselves (for private viewing only…and the cellulite would have to be airbrushed).

Anyone, in fact, besides these people: Read More »