I am the biggest. idiot. ever. Why? Because I will be spending one dreaded semester at home. That’s right, I gave up my freedom so that I could come home to spend a little extra time with the ‘rents. No, I’m not one of those people who can’t bear to spend time away from my parents, I just made a couple of mistakes…well, let’s call them choices…
Rewind to the end of senior year when a certain girl was debating between College A and College B. College A is the largest school in North Carolina, is very serious about their sports program (which means tons of fans to party with, plus I love college football) and just happens to be an hour from my boyfriend. College B is a smaller but well-known school located right in the middle of a booming city not to far from my home in Virginia that also happens to house an insane Arts/Fashion program.
Of course, naive senior Amber picked College A so she could get a degree in Fashion but still tailgate, party like crazy and spend time with her beau.
One cringe-worthy break up, one failed class, dozens of racial/socioeconomic clashes and too many drunken nights later I decided that it was time to transfer. My decision was a good one, but was made too late; by the time I submitted my application to another school (College C, I guess), it was impossible to receive housing and a decent financial aid package. Then I remembered good ol’ College B with the awesome Fashion program and decided going there was worth spending one semester at a sh*tty community college while having to obey Mom and Pop’s rules.
Some of you may have decided (or been forced) to stay at home too, or maybe I’m just hoping I’m not the only one that gets upset when I see those back to school commercials with all the cute dorm furniture and kids running through campus. Either way, there are pros and cons to movin’ back in with the rents and I know all about them: Read More »
Another week, another issue to dissect. This week we ask our resident male what he thinks of the infamous Three-Day Rule. Do guys really follow it? Do they really believe it? Should we all put our phones/laptops away for 72 hours until it is “safe” to contact our love interest? Or, just like all rules, is this one meant to be broken?
He Said:
Hmmm. The three-day rule is an interesting phenomenon, and while, like most of these ‘rules,’ I don’t think one needs to hold to it exactly, it does make sense. Basically what you want to do is send a message that you aren’t a completely desperate freak or some over-obsessed ‘I made a doll with your hair’ stalker. This goes for both men and women. Calling right after a date, while direct, says more then just ‘lets get together!’ It says ‘I have nothing to do, ever!’ And that is a warning sign.
One thing that isn’t often mentioned about what we look for in gals is if they have friends and a solid base of activities and hobbies. The last thing we want (assuming we are well-adjusted) is some girl who constantly calls us with updates on her location, what she had for lunch, and what flavor toothpaste she’s considering. We want someone who can go out on a date, have a good time, and then maybe the next day hang out with her friends, or spend some time with their mom, or even just read a book by herself. As someone who values solitude, a girl who likes time alone is very attractive, because it means I will also get time alone. Read More »
While biking up an extraordinarily large and difficult hill in Spin class this morning (made even more difficult by the night of binge drinking that preceded it), I was startled out of my zone by a rather raucous shout of, “COME ON, BABY!” I wasn’t sure who was screaming, or who baby was, but I didn’t care; I lost my groove. I started feeling the pain in my legs, the burning in my quads, and my whole ride was off. But I kept going. And so did she.
“WOO”“LET’S DO THIS!”“PEDAL. DO IT DO IT DO IT.” It was quite clear that this loud and rather burly woman was screaming at herself – pushing herself – but, why? Was there something wrong with internal dialogue?? With all the adrenaline pumping through my body, I wanted to pull a Christopher Carter and knock that bitch off her bike. Read More »
I was born in New York, I live and work and play in New York, and chances are I’ll die in New York (hopefully not too soon). So I’ve taken a lot (lot LOT) of rides on the subway and the Long Island Railroad. And it has mostly sucked.Yesterday, during one subway ride alone, I experienced three (THREE!!!) subway faux pas(es?) during a 45-minute commute. Look, enough is enough. The time has come, my friends! Rules must be set in place. Action must be taken.
So here, for your thoughtful perusal, are my 8 Arbitrary Rules of Public Transportation:
(1) Thou Shall Not Hit Others In The Head With Thy Weave.
I’m minding my own business, listening to Weezer and wondering whether or not I’m going to be late to class, when these two women with orange faces and giant sunglasses (you know what I’m talking about? you know what I’m talking about) get on the train and sit practically on top of me. They are screaming about some other women that they apparently don’t like. And then–Weave Woman, who has the LARGEST blonde ponytail you have ever seen, WHACKS me in the face with her “hair.” This happens four more times before I finally can’t deal and I move. She never says sorry. Weave Woman, learn the rules. Read More »
Thanks a lot Borat and Coach Joseph, but we still don’t understand what a two-point conversion or a punt return is.
(That's actually my high school...Imagine having Coach Jo as a World History teacher.)
Anyway, its that time of year. Super Bowl parties! We want to be there for the food, commercials, and booze, but what is this football business going on in the middle of all that? Sitting through a football game, clueless as to what’s going on is roughly equivalent to conversational Farsi.
Growing up in a devout Texas football town, I will tell you that it takes years for the fairer sex to pick up the hundreds of rules and terms, as we have spent most of football season gossiping in the stands. I've gone and written out some of the more important ones that will help you follow the game and impress the boys. Guys think you are SO rad if you’re actually into football, but until you prove yourself, you'll be treated as a spy. Read More »
After spending a portion of my day listening to a friend detail a particularly painful break-up she’s currently going through, giving her the best advice I could while recognizing her little painful moments all too well, I started thinking about the process of breaking up itself.
Not the actual nuts and bolts of the deed, those always vary, but the way we react afterward.
No matter who we are, our pain tends to mirror each other during these times. We make the same decisions, fall into the same bad habits, give ourselves the same pep talks, and feel the general sh*ttiness so strongly that most of us, by our mid-twenties, have experienced some kind of life really can’t go on moment.
When a girlfriend goes through a break-up, we give advice, comfort her, but most of all, completely understand what she’s feeling. We completely understand, and never really want to go there again (although most of us will, according to the numbers. Damn you statistics! I knew I got a B- in your class for a reason!).
So certain that we all share the same brain when devastated, author Sandra Ann Miller has written a book, A Girlfriend’s Guide to Getting Over Him, in which she lists “10 essential ground rules to prevent the recently jilted from making the most common breakup mistakes”. The rules are listed here. Read More »
• “It was an incredible experience. There was smoke coming out of my arm and my burnt flesh smelled like a cross between chicken and bacon.” Incredible indeed.
I bet your roommate sucks. Don’t worry, I understand. I have a twin sister and therefore have had to share living quarters with another girl for my entire life.
It’s cool and all when you’re six years old, and sharing space meant sharing Barbies, but once you hit 18 and it’s time for college…you’re probably going to want your roommate out during playtime.
You’ve probably already set up your dorm room, but there’s always a chance it could be set up better,with more of your own space, and with something we all desperately need.
No f*cking drama.
First things first:
No bunk beds. I know, I know, they save space and all that, but top bunk is only cool at summer camp. Plus with your roommate’s bed literally attached to yours you might as well be attached at the hip too. And can I just remind everyone that there’s nothing sexy (or mysterious) about climbing into a top bunk with a guy you’re hoping to bone.
I know for some people it ranks right up there with eating bugs, but I’m a sushi lover and proud of it. From tame tuna to eel and octopus, I’m a fan of it all. Eating sushi at least once a week for years, I’ve picked up some tips in order to not look like a fish out of water when ordering sushi.
So, next time you’re out at a sushi bar or Japanese restaurant, put down the fork you’re using to stab at your sushi with reckless abandon, and impress your friends with the following rules of sushi etiquette. You’ll look like a pro, even if you’re a sushi virgin.
When in doubt, ask the chef.
If you’re new to sushi or just looking for some new flavors, park your rear at the sushi bar instead of getting a table. Most chefs would be happy to introduce you to their favorites.
Don’t ask “what’s fresh today?”
Assume everything you see in front of you is fresh—or else they wouldn’t be serving it. If you were having dinner at a friend’s, would you ask them if the meal they prepared is fresh? Same concept. If you’re not sure what to order, ask the chef (or waitress, if you’re at a table) to bring their favorites. If you have control issues, you can also offer your preferences as to level of spiciness or certain types of fish you like and dislike. Read More »
My best friend recently asked me for advice on facing something we’ve all faced at one point or another, with varying degrees of gracefulness—the first bump-in with the ex. Luckily for her, this bump-in would be happening at her friend’s party that she found out he was going to as well, so she was already starting off better than those of us whose first bump-in occurred during a Slurpee run, hair unwashed and legs unshaved.
Having had my share of even premeditated bump-ins that I’d like to do over, I gave her the following advice:
1. Be VERY careful about drinking. Seriously. If you do get trashed, leave ASAP. No crying, vomiting, or “sexy” dancing while drunk (think about it—have you ever seen a wasted girl trying to dance sexy and thought that she looked good? Didn’t think so). And especially no hooking up with another guy or leaving with another guy unless you’re somewhat sober and/or your ex is nowhere in sight. What looks hot when you’re wasted will likely frighten you in the morning. Read More »
I am the biggest. idiot. ever. Why? Because I will be spending one dreaded semester at home. That’s right, I gave up my freedom so that I could come home to spend a little extra time with the ‘rents. No, I’m not one of those people who can’t bear to spend time away from my parents, I just made a couple of mistakes…well, let’s call them choices…
Another week, another issue to dissect. This week we ask our resident male what he thinks of the infamous Three-Day Rule. Do guys really follow it? Do they really believe it? Should we all put our phones/laptops away for 72 hours until it is “safe” to contact our love interest? Or, just like all rules, is this one meant to be broken?
After spending a portion of my day listening to a friend detail a particularly painful break-up she’s currently going through, giving her the best advice I could while recognizing her little painful moments all too well, I started thinking about the process of breaking up itself.
I know for some people it ranks right up there with eating bugs, but I’m a 
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