Russians will go to the polls on Saturday, March 2, to elect a new president. Unlike our suspenseful US elections, in Russia it is all but a foregone conclusion that Dmitry Medvedev will be the winner.

Why such a farce? While hardly anyone really claims to “get” the Russian political system, it is generally agreed that Putin’s current power over the Russian public stems directly from the state’s chaotic transition during the 1990s.

Russia emerged from the ruins of the USSR on January 1, 1992 led by reformist Boris Yeltsin. Economically speaking, it was an entirely new country. The Russian nouveau riche established their positions through purchasing the most lavish of cars, furs, and mansions. The most flamboyant were members of an elite group of young billionaires known as the “Oligarchs”. Mikhail Khodorkovsky, Roman Abramovich, Oleg Deripaska, names that bring up images of bad 1970s spy flicks, dominated Russian business interests.

While the Oligarchs enjoyed their imported champagne and Aston Martins, the middle and lower classes lived a much different life. For all its evils, life under the communist system included full employment and price controls for housing and basic food…provided you could find housing and a market with food still on the shelves and didn’t mind being a university educated bathroom attendant. Read More »

• What are the top 10 foods to top with bacon when bacon goes with everything?

• Looking to waste time on the internet? Is that question as stupid as the bacon one? Eh, just waste your time here!

• Coca Cola is evil. But only in Russia.

• The eternal war wages on! Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

• This guy’s even better than the real Santa.

• So now when your little brother won’t stop making you play Rock, Paper, Scissors you’ll know how to shut him up.

Guys, if any of you are reading this, you may want to stop right now.

Seriously. Honestly. Look away.

No? Alright…

A Russian woman set her ex-husband’s penis on fire last Wednesday while he sat naked in front of the TV, enjoying a nice glass of vodka.

“I was burning like a torch” the injured man is quoted as saying (undoubtedly through a waterfall of tears), “I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”

No word on how she did it, but the ex-husband’s prognosis does not look good. When asked about his chance of a full recovery, a police spokeswoman admitted it was “difficult to predict”.

I’m not quite sure how one recovers from a burnt penis.

Reuters is reporting that the attack happened after the divorced couple spent three years living in the same apartment, a common occurrence in Russia where “property costs are very high”.

Perhaps Mr. Naked had sat spread-eagled in front of the TV one too many times. Perhaps he had a nasty habit of finishing off the house vodka. Or perhaps he was a horrible person. Read More »

Ahh the Russians. I do love them.

Amazing vodka, awful food and some of the most wonderful people I have ever met, despite the fact that they don’t smile very often.

And at a time when I am trying my hardest to NOT procreate, the Russians are giving away cars, televisions, refrigerators and washing machines to those that do. Oh, Russia you are grand.

September 12 has been declared The Day of Conception and couples whose children are born on June 12, Russia’s National Day, will win prizes. They even get a day off just to do it. Russians are very proud of their country.

The thing that is slightly alarming is the fact that many of the Russian children I worked with while I visited were orphans. And many of their parents were still alive but just could not afford to feed, house and clothe their children.

And Russia isn’t exactly a country of grand eloquence. The summer camp I worked in was nice according to Russian standards—many of the regular campers (the orphans spent the entire summer there but didn’t really participate in camp wide activities) were of Saint Petersburg’s economical elite. And this summer camp was way, way below any of America’s standard summer camps.

Trust me when I say that it just wasn’t like anything you could ever fathom. Read More »