It’s fall, and that means Hollywood starts caring about the movies again.

Traditionally, summer is full of blockbusters that are low on the good scale and high on the explosion scale, while fall marks the beginning of smaller, better made, Oscar contenders.

I don’t know if this one’s going to get any Oscars, but considering the star was nominated for an Academy Award last year and is the current love of my life, I’d say it’ll certainly develop some buzz—especially because the plot is so weird. Read More »

I love Almond Joys. They’re basically my favorite candy bar. Coconut, almonds (for protein!), and chocolate, there’s no better combination in this world.

(Unless it’s Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Gosling and chocolate)

One of the best bartenders I know gave me this recipe, and I’ve tried it a few times myself. It’s definitely sweet, not something to get wasted on, but just perfect for those Saturday night BBQ’s or the beginning of a girl’s night out.

Almond Joy Shot

• 3 oz. Malibu Rum

• 1.5 oz. Amaretto

• 1 oz. Chocolate Liqueur

• 1 oz. Baileys Irish Cream

• Chocolate Syrup

• Whipped Cream

Add the Malibu, Chocolate Liqueur, Amaretto, and Baileys to a shaker with ice. Shake about 6 times (try not to over-mix, the individual flavors will get muddled), and then pour into shot glasses. Drizzle a little whipped cream and chocolate syrup on top and you’re good to go!

…And always remember to drink responsibly. Cute bartenders never go for the drunk girls.

Dirty Dancing

It’s true. I hate it.

I’ve hated that stupid film since the first time I saw it on a TV, stuck in my weird babysitter’s mother’s house for a reason I can’t remember now, sitting in a living room that smelled like old couch and cigarettes, desperately trying to find something to whittle away the time. At first, I thought I had hit the jackpot. It looked totally indecent, something my mom would have never let me watch, and there was a cool soundtrack (I was 10 years old…what did I know about music?). Thirty minutes into the thing, however, my young brain knew I was watching something absolutely sucktastic. Even then, I could tell the dialogue was phony and forced. Even then, I could tell Jennifer Grey would never make another movie because she was totally annoying. And even then, even as a child, I knew Patrick Swayze was weird looking.

As I’ve grown older, my hatred for this movie has only increased, and every time another cool person declares their love for it, I feel a tiny pang of anger in the pit of my stomach and force them to list the reasons why. Strangely enough, most people can’t define why they like it so much. I think it has something to do with that lake scene; wet nipples, romantic music, ‘try try again’ mentality…a little something for everyone. Other than that, I have no idea why this movie ever made it anywhere.

The Matrix

Please. I fell asleep after the first ten minutes and woke up just in time to see people wearing sunglasses and barking half-worn Bible verses at each other. Snorefest. My brother and his friends tell me I’m just too stupid to understand it. Maybe. Or maybe they’re the stupid ones for unwittingly sitting through high octane Sunday School.

Any Monty Python Film

I have sat in a roomful of people watching one of these and been the only one not laughing. I just don’t get it. I couldn’t find it funny if I tried. Maybe if I played Risk and had an online boyfriend, I’d find it more hilarious. Read More »

“Jesyan”

“Jesake”

“DiGaal”

No, I haven’t fallen asleep on my keyboard. I’m just seeing what the Celebrity Couple Name Maker does with my name and the names of my two boyfriends, Jakey Gyllenhaal and Ryan Gosling.

Although not very creative, this little internet time-killer can help take your mind off those final papers and that weird guy who SOMEHOW got your number and keeps calling every four hours. Read More »

It’s official.

I want to marry Ryan Gosling. This clip from the Ellen DeGeneres show proves to me that he is everything—and I mean everything—I could ever want in a human being of the opposite sex. He’s hot, funny, fashionable, smart, and likes to dance! Oh, and I did I mention he’s also a fabulous actor who was nominated for an oscar?

If you haven’t already, go and see Fracture, starring Mr. Delicious himself as well as Anthony Hopkins. I don’t know much about the film, but, frankly, it doesn’t matter. Gorgeous Gosling could recite the phone book next to a beige wall and I’d still watch it for five hours.

…and may I just mention, I knew this boy was a jewel back in the day when he was starring in a children’s show based on the Athenian hero Hercules’s teenage years. Seriously.

Sure, the perfect romantic evening for me would entail sitting on the couch with my boyfriend, eating fried chicken, drinking cheap wine and watching American Idol (that Simon just makes me wanna cuddle!). But, that’s just me. Call me naive, but I truly believe that romance still exists, even with all the crappy guys out there in the cruel, cruel dating world.

Among all this week’s paternity tests and ignorant and racial slurs, there have been several uplifting stories of romance sure to make up for the recent lowlights.

Take Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. They’ve been together ever since they met during the filming of The Notebook; only like, the most romantic tear-jerker of our time! I watched that movie by myself, and went into it thinking, “No way am I going to cry. This ain’t no Titanic.” By the end, I was a sobbing mess.

There have been rumors of a wedding on and off now for a couple of years, but now mags like Us Weekly have been reporting that these two really good-looking Canadian love birds are actually getting married this time. Even cuter? They grew up in the same ‘hood, but didn’t meet until The Notebook! They probably passed eachother on the street all the time as kids, but fate eventually took its course.

Sigh. Read More »

You know, I’m beginning to think freaks really do have more fun.

And apparently, have an easier time finding someone to marry.

This guy recently tied the knot. And his wife isn’t half bad. And apparently he did the choosing.

Is he rich? No (they call him a ‘herdsman’, and while I’m not up on my pastoral occupations, I’m gonna to take a flying leap and guess ‘herdsmen’ aren’t rollin’ in the Benjamins). Can he dunk? The article didn’t mention it.

What I do know is that he saved two dolphins by pulling plastic out of their stomachs with his “long arms”.

Eh. That’s one more good deed than the last guy I went out with.

Read More »