February is National Condom Month, which is something we at CollegeCandy take pretty seriously. For real, the best kind of sex is safe sex, for a number of different reasons, and making the conscious decision to use condoms or other contraceptives is taking charge of your sex life in a really positive way.

Even the porn industry seems to be taking notice! Recently the Los Angeles City Council voted 9-1 to grant approval to an ordinance that would require the city to deny all permits in which “actors” were not following the condom requirement. Now, the LA porn industry is pissed because all their actors are being forced to wear condoms. According to USA Today, about 90% of the porn we all watch (and admit it — you’ve watched some porn, don’t be shy ladies) is filmed in Los Angeles. That means roughly 90% of the porn our boyfriends, friends-with-benefits and guys that live on our floors are watching is coming from LA. What does this ordinance mean for the porn industry? Well, even though technically the producers could film outside of the city limits of LA, hopefully this law will spur a chain reaction of laws protecting those in the industry from STDs and promoting safe sex.

While the ordinance is a great idea for the actors, I think it’s even more important for the fans of porn. We’re wondering what sort of impact this going to have on the aforementioned porn lovers in our lives. We all know that guys love to imitate what they see in porn — hence the popularity of anal sex, “facials,” and the idea that all women are down for a threesome – I mean what IS that about?! If men (and women) are consistently watching porn where condoms are present, I wonder (and kind of hope) that men start seeing condom usage as not a nuisance, but something that is just second nature.

If anything, hopefully this ordinance will spark both fans and familiars of the porn industry to get informed about condom usage and other ways to protect themselves when having sex. In honor of National Condom Month, I will leave you with this – Don’t Be a Fool, Wrap Your Tool.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m a senior in college and have been in a serious relationship for the past 5 years. He’s my high school sweetheart. I know, we’re so cute! We just got engaged and are getting married when I graduate (he’s two years older and is already working).

Now that we’re engaged, I want to go on birth control, but I’m not sure what to try. What do you recommend?

Thanks, Tuffy!

Engaged!

Dear Engaged,

First of all, congratulations!!! You’re right, that’s super cute. Go, girl!!! Secondly, a disclaimer: Tuffy ain’t no doctor, mmmkay?! So go to your OB/GYN to get REAL advice! But in the meantime, here’s what I got:

I’m going mostly by Planned Parenthood, so you can check out the link here:

(BTW!!! If you don’t have insurance and need to see an OB/GYN, Planned Parenthood is a great resource!!! Clicky click that link!) Basically, if you’re going to have sex and you don’t want a baby, you have to use protection. If you’re also worried about STDs (which MOST of you should be!!!), you need to use a condom and that’s pretty much that. You could kind of use a female condom, but those seem to be slightly less effective and have a few downsides (may be uncomfy, can slip inside you during sex, etc.). CONDOMS, people. CONDOMS!!! There are also a bunch of options you can use WITH condoms to prevent pregnancy.

Some women like the diaphragm. It’s fairly effective but it doesn’t protect, of course, from STDs. It’s like a little cup you insert in your hooha. It’s nice and inexpensive and each one lasts for about two years.

Then, of course, there’s the ever-popular birth control pill. Be careful when you go on these, since they do pump you full of hormones and some people have serious side effects. (Read up here.) Really wonderful for some women, really harmful for others. Remember, the pill does NOT protect against STDs!!!

Similarly, there’s the sponge. It soaks up the spermies and kills ‘em. Check but not as effective as we’d like.

Then there’s the patch, which is quite effective (for pregnancy, NOT STDs!). You have to wear it. Like an accessory. Same hormonal risks, but, again, great for some.

The shot: Depo-Provera. Very easy, lasts three months a shot. A little more expensive because it’s more convenient.

NuvaRing: an insertion thingy. VERY effective but pricey and a little risky. Read up, kids.

Aaaand the birth control implant. Very expensive up front but lasts three years. Mostly pretty safe, from what I understand.

I mean, basically, you just have to do your research and talk to your doctor. I applaud you for being responsible!!!!!!!! Please, kids, protect your bodies and your futures!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv. Or smash.

I was struck with complete disbelief after reading about a woman who, despite using multiple forms of birth control, keeps getting pregnant. Like, pregnant seven times in 5 years. Like, she and her husband only had sex three times since September and she’s currently expecting another kid. Did I mention she’s tried the Pill, condoms, injections and an IUD…and they still don’t work? Yeah, after the shock wore off, I came to the conclusion that this woman is full of it.

Was she really using condoms all this time? Or was she actually on the pill or had the shot? What are the odds after practicing every form of contraceptives known to man that NONE work on 23-year-old Gemma Potter? What causes her genetic makeup to be so incredibly different from most other females on earth? There is no sperm that strong and no contraceptive that weak. I think she might be yearning for some extra media attention or her husband might be slipping off that condom during hot and heavy lovemaking. I mean, hey, it’s in the heat of the moment, how could she ever tell?

Condoms and birth control have proven to be extremely effective to the greater public. As an adolescent teenager growing up, “safe sex is the best sex” is all I ever heard. If I remember correctly, I think there was an actual song to go with that slogan…but anyways that’s beside the point! The point is, everyone is taught to wear condoms or get on birth control if you don’t want to get pregnant! Those methods have been tested hundreds of times by well-educated doctors and scientists who know what they are doing. So the real question is, if she is not lying, she is not using contraceptives the right way. There is no way in Hell they could have failed her seven times in a row.

Let’s face it, after the first, second and third baby that came during her supposedly “protected” sex, what person in their right mind would rely on any other form of protection to work for them? Obviously the form of protection she’s using is being used incorrectly, so she needs to seek guidance on the matter.

If all else fails, the answer is quite simple actually. DON’T HAVE SEX AS MUCH or GET YOUR TUBES TIED! Potter complained about not having a real career or actually being able to go out and have a drink with her girlfriends because she is pregnant all the time. Do you want to ultimately be knocked up your whole life and therefore exist broke and friendless, or do you want your life back? The question is simple, Ms. Potter.

Ultimately, I recommend these two energizer bunnies go back to Sex Ed classes and learn the correct ways to practice safe sex, because they obviously missed the memo. I wish the two of them the best and a baby-free future. Good luck!

What do you think? Are these two really being careful and Ms. Potter is simply an ultra-fertile Myrtle? Are they missing a crucial step along the way when using condoms, the Pill or another method?

Maya is a freshman print journalism major attending Howard University in Washington D.C. She loves fashion, beauty, and all things glamorous. Follow her on tumblr at myprincessdiaryxoxo.tumblr.com or on twitter at @Mayaalena

At least that’s the mission behind the hot, new, perfectly plaid-patterned condom company, Sir Richard’s condoms.

In honor of National World AIDS day, we wanted to give it up (pun intended) to a fairly new company that makes it their mission to help out countries in need. I recently met with one of Sir Richard’s leading ladies, Mia, to talk about their company, their philosophy and their branding.

The company was founded on the belief that buying condoms is just plain awkward. You feel like everyone is looking at you, judging you and saying a Hail Mary in your honor. They’re forgetting to recognize that you’re practicing the delicate art of safe sex. Sir Richards smartly created a brand that is, for lack of a more eloquent adjective, cute. Their packaging actually makes me want to buy a couple condom boxes and put them on display.

Personally, I find the subtle “Sir Richards Condoms” label on the bottom right to be way less in your face then some of the other leading condom brands out there and different colors represent the different types (pink for pleasure dots, blue for extra-large, green for classic ribbed and orange for ultra-thin). It’s the kind of marketing tactic that would make me feel a little less awkward running into the grocery store at 3am.

Sir Richard’s is also partnering up with local artists, activists and companies like Partners in Health (PIH) to one-up the rest of the sexual awareness industry. Co-creating a condom brand that is used in PIH’s 12 clinics, Sir Richards has made condoms free in Haitian healthcare communities. And that’s just the beginning. After they launch the donation base in Haiti in early 2012, Sir Richards plans to keep on givin’.

Company execs have a big plan for America, too. For every condom you buy, they will donate one to a developing country. So that means Sir Richard’s has roots in America, Haiti and neighboring third world countries where sexual awareness is limited and sexually transmitted diseases are running rampant. The payoff for thousands of kinky college kids? We’re basically helping thousands of people get protected every time we use a rubber! You’re welcome, world.

Before walking out of our meeting with a goodie-bag of condoms and four separate boxes to give to friends (maybe I’m the new naughty Santa?) I learned a little bit about Sir Richard’s college tour bus. Lovingly nicknamed “Lucy,” the bus has already traveled up and down the Cali coast, stopping and spreading the word about their condoms. They’ve got plans to hit the Northeast on the tail end of spring semester in 2012 and they want to hear from you! While their tour dates haven’t been confirmed yet, they’d love to know what schools would be interested in a visit. Hop on over to their site and see how you can invite them to your campus.

Their product has exceeded FDA standards and they’re made from 100% natural latex, omitting caseins (which make them vegan friendly!) and lubed up without spermicide, glycerin and parabens. As of now, Sir Richard’s can be found and purchased at any Whole Foods Market (where they’re a top-shelf seller), upscale boutiques, independent grocers or boutiques on the West Coast.  Not near any of those? Find them online where you can sign up for a monthly subscription.

Gettin’ it on and givin’ back. I could get used to that.

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Getting to know someone else’s body is a learning process. Sometimes there’s a very steep curve, depending on level of intuitiveness, experience and communication. Some people can pick up cues far quicker and better than others and all is well, while sometimes…you’re laying on your back, staring at the ceiling and thinking of your to-do list for the next six months. Five behaviors I’ve had the displeasure of enjoying enduring are…

1. Sloppy kissing
Kissing is a truly crucial component of hooking up. In fact, I’d go so far as to call it a crucial life skill. While we all have different kissing styles, and sometimes they won’t align. Things like too much drool, excessive suction and a complete inability to find a good angle are obnoxious to endure.

2. Not wrapping it up
Guys who don’t take responsibility for their role in pregnancy and STD prevention are trouble. Not wearing a condom or pouting about wearing a condom is immature and disgusting. No, condoms are not absolutely ideal, but neither is gonorrhea or a baby. Part of being ready to have sex means being ready to take on the risk prevention that is necessary to have a stress free sex life.

3. A lack of appreciation
I love to feel…savored. When a guy looks like he could easily spend the rest of his life getting familiar with every part of my body, that is super arousing. On the other hand, when a guy looks like he’s phoning it in because he’s thinking about his fantasy football league and is quickly going through the motions, I become equally as disengaged.

4. Insecurity
We all get nervous when we’re nude. That’s totally understandable and normal. But asking every five seconds “Do you like this?”, “Is this okay?” and giving me lost puppy dog eyes is thoroughly unsexy. I used to do this too, and it wasn’t until I was on the other end that I realized how off-putting it is. Communication is good. Constantly needing validation is not.

5. No reciprocation
I love to give head. I truly do. I think it’s fun and I feel totally sexy and submissive when I do it. So it’s not like I only give head so I can get head in exchange. That said…it would be nice.  Some people have a fear of cunnilingus and I get that. The vaginal area is not quite as straightforward as a penis. But how would you ever learn if you don’t practice, right? When a guy doesn’t even make moves towards going down on me, I become incredibly self-conscious. I wonder if I smell or if I taste “bad.” That doesn’t exactly inspire a ton of self-confidence and it definitely doesn’t conjure up positive associations with my partner.

I want your input! What are your ultimate turn-offs?

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

As college girls, we have a lot of on our minds. From balancing work and class, yoga and fast food, our boyfriends and Half-Off Ladies Night, there is a lot to keep track of! So maybe you can relate with me when I say that the last thing on my mind is remembering to take the biggest pain in my ass, The Pill. Ladies, I am going to be honest with you. I hate the pill. I truly despise it. I leave it everywhere, sleep through my ‘You Don’t Want a Kid” alarm, and often go days without even thinking about it. So let me tell you, when I heard that there was another alternative – that doesn’t involve shots or wearing a patch – I was intrigued. When I read that it was the safest and most effective alternative to taking the pill, I called my doctor.

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists just released a report this Monday stating that the reversible contraceptives (like the IUD) are the safest and most effective contraceptive for all reproductive aged women. According to the study, most women who have had an unplanned pregnancy were using contraception, but were inconsistent. With a 0.05 pregnancy rate, these devices are inserted into the uterus by a doctor and then can be forgotten about until they’re removed. There are no alarms or daily reminders.  IUDs and the alike, release hormones that prevent pregnancy for up to five years.

They are also reversible, which means that if you want to get pregnant later, all you have to do is have a doctor remove it. To avoid sounding like a commercial on Lifetime, let me just quickly tell you that of course, like all contraceptives, there are risks. These include increased menstrual bleeding, cramps, and infection.

For more information, check out the article on Women’s Health or see your doctor. The IUD isn’t for everyone, but if you are anything like me, it might be the perfect no-baby solution for you!

Hey Girls, let me know. Have you tried the IUD? What form of birth control do you recommend? Help a sister out!

Everyone knows that sex without a condom is better than with that thin latex lining. According to guys it “feels amazing” and is “probably the best thing on earth.” (Clearly, guys have never tried dipping pretzels into frosting….) But we also know that no matter how good it is, it isn’t good enough to risk getting pregnant and spending our days playing peek-a-boo instead of beer pong.

Enter the birth control pill.

Seems like the perfect fix. 99.9% effective (when taken correctly, ladies) and no annoying de-sensitizing barrier to get in the way of some good old fashioned sex. It is probably the best thing to be invented since the wheel (though I would argue the Oh-My-Bod is totally up there), so it always comes as a huge surprise to people when I say that I really truly hate taking the pill.

“WHAT? WHY? HOW??!” you ask. Here are my top 10 reasons:

1. Cravings: For the first few months that I was on the pill I felt like I was pregnant. All I wanted was cake, donuts, pickles and peanut butter (not together…always). I would attempt to stick to the diet – due to #2 – but it was hard to chow down on a salad when what I really wanted was an entire large pizza and a chocolate milkshake. And when I refused to give in, I would find myself dealing with a major #3.

2. Weight Gain: I gained 4 pounds in my first three weeks back on the pill. That is more weight per week than I gained my freshman year and at least then I had a built-in excuse. Now I find myself on the pill to avoid pregnancy, but instead end up looking pregnant. And nothing says “let’s have sex without a condom” like a big, fat belly.

3. Mood Swings: Ever see the movie Music and Lyrics? A cheesy, stupid, predictable romantic comedy. Unless, of course, you are me on the Pill and you find yourself sobbing uncontrollably towards the end when they finally get together. And then you go home and cry yourself to sleep because your TiVo cut off the end of American Idol and you have no idea who got cut.

4. My Stomach: See #2.

5. My Ass: See #2 and multiply it by two. That thing is getting huge!

6. My Thighs: Ditto.

7. The Money: I use the generic version of my pill to keep costs down, but it is still $15 bucks a month (and much higher for many students). And my man doesn’t have to pay a thing. Sometimes he feels bad about this and buys me candy to make up for it. Which, as you can imagine, only further adds to #2, 4, 5 and 6.

8. Pain: You know how your boobs get all sore about a week before your period? I feel that daily. All the time. Even when I’m wearing two sports bras on the treadmill. I want to cut them off.

9. My Ass: It really got huge.

10. My Thighs: They had to grow to support the giant ass that is perched so nicely above them.

I won’t stop taking the pill – mostly because I am deathly afraid of becoming a mom – but I have to hope that there is a better option out there, preferably one that doesn’t involve needles or procedures. Something has to give…I just hope it’s not the seam in my pants.

Okay, kiddos. Today we have a very special issue of Ask Tuffy Luv. Today we’re gonna–gasp–learn from our mothers. (Even though, yes, they annoy us sometimes. OK, a lot.)

I know that seems odd. But, readerinos, Aunt Tuffy gets ever so many letters from all of y’all about things I KNOW your momma taught you. So, in one fell swoop, Tuffy gonna answer the basic kinds questions she gets week after week, just by telling you what your mother already knows.

(1) Be Faithful.

Momma sez: You’re probably going to want to have a serious partner someday. Don’t blow it now by blowing through tons of guys (or girls) and burning bridges. You’re gonna form bad habits and you’re gonna get a bad reputation. So don’t cheat. It’s nature’s bad karma, donchaknow?

(2) Use Protection.

Giiiiiirl, don’t be bringing no grandbaby round! Okay, fine, bring the grandbaby. Momma will looooove that grandbaby. But, precious, I just want you to be the best you that you can be. You need time to grow and to be in a good place and in a good relationship. Besides, you don’t want any of those nasty STDs, right?! Momma knows you don’t.

(3) Long Distance is Hard. But So Is Any Relationship.

Sweetheart. You’ve got to follow that sweet heart of yours. Long distance relationships are very difficult, so if you have your doubts, don’t waste your time and energy. But if you think in your heart of hearts that he (or she) really might be The One, you’ve got to give it a shot. Trust yourself. And if it doesn’t work out, don’t punish yourself–learn from your mistakes and live your life the best you can.

(4) Do Unto Others.

Be a good friend. If your girlfriend is interested in someone, don’t hook up with him (/her). Don’t flirt. Don’t do anything that’s going to hurt your friend. And if a friend hurts you? I’ll kill ‘er. No, but really. Don’t hurt your friends, and don’t hurt anyone. If someone hurts you, tell them and then move on.

(5) Get Your Priorities Straight.

Do well in school. Work hard. Choose how you want to live your life, and live it that way to the fullest. You’ve got to pursue your goals, because, honey, your goals ain’t never gonna pursue you. Sit down, figure out what’s important to you, and do it the very best you can. And I just know you’ll do it.

Happy (belated) Mother’s Day, Moms! We love you so much.

Besides, we wouldn’t be here without you.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Get more Tough Love right here. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.