Before Saturday nights were all about staying up late and quizzing each other with exam flashcards and making a lot of bad choices, they were about tricking your babysitter into breaking your bedtime rules so you could watch SNICK. Because it wasn’t a quality weekend if you didn’t scare yourself into never sleeping after watching Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Due to our unwavering ’90s obsession, we felt obligated to do some research and find out what happened to some of your favorite SNICK stars.

Clarissa of Clarissa Explains It All

Before casting her spell on Harvey Kinkle and tweens nationwide, Melissa Joan Hart was a rather famous, scrunchie-sporting high-schooler. While dealing with annoyances such as her brother, Ferguson, Clarissa philosophized about the happenings of teenage life. After a lull in her career, Melissa Joan Hart has recently hooked up with fellow ’90s star (and fellow DWTS alum) Joey Lawrence as co-stars in ABC Family’s Melissa & Joey. Let’s hope their sitcom is more entertaining than their recent made for TV movie, My Fake Fiance.

Sam of Clarissa Explains It All

Before the days of Joey and Dawson, there was a ladder-fueled friendship that all girls adored. Every time I found myself in some kind of puzzle at the ripe age of nine, I wished I was as lucky as Clarissa. Sam, played by Sean O’Neal, was Clarrisa’s best (and forever platonic) friend. Nowadays, Sean O’Neal describes himself as a “triple threat” that the business loves. But, based on his IMDB profile, I’m not sure what business he is referring to.

Nick of All That

Joining the cast of All That in 1998, Nick Cannon launched his career by entertaining young audiences with skits such as this. He eventually starred in a show of an eponymous title, enjoyed a short-lived vocation as a rapper with hits like Gigolo, and got his band-geek on in Drumline. Now, Cannon has made several career-furthering moves, such as becoming the host of America’s Got Talent and marrying singer Mariah Carey.

Kel of All That

A few months ago, an Internet rumor spread like a Colorado wildfire that Kel Mitchell had died. I was heartbroken, praying that such a tragedy had not occurred. Lucky for me, the only thing that appeared to be truly dead was Kel’s career as a leading funnyman. Starring on All That during its prime, Kel created characters that will forever go hand-in-hand with my childhood memories. Anyone else still crave a Good Burger? With two new movies coming out in the near future, I’ll be keeping my eyes peeled for Kel and a possible comeback. Hopefully, he’ll still be rocking the braided bob and raspy, yeah-dude lingo.

Alex of The Secret World of Alex Mack

Words cannot describe how obsessed I was with Alex Mack. I watched every episode, had the book series, and often wished that I would have some weird reaction to soap – giving me the power to transform into a liquid blob— while washing the dinner dishes. You would think Larisa Oleynik’s coolness had peaked as Alex, but she went on to play Bianca Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You, helping us teenage girls define the difference between like and love. With a few roles here and there, she also starred in a movie titled Relative Obscurity in 2007, which seems to reflect her current state in Hollywood.

Ray of The Secret World of Alex Mack

Darris Love played Alex Mack’s best friend, Ray. Thinking her powers were “cool”, he kept Alex’s secret. Since, Darris had several guest roles on shows like Sister, Sister; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; and CSI. Bet he wishes kids were still into chemically mutated teenage girls instead of blue, 8-foot tall aliens.

Big Pete Wrigley of The Adventures of Pete and Pete

Before joining Pete and Pete as one half of America’s favorite red-headed duo, Mike Maronna starred in both Home Alone movies. With lines like “Kevin, you’re such a disease” you would think that Maronna had a bright future ahead of him. He’s had a few small roles recently, including a stint in a Nada Surf video, but nothing of great significance. Perhaps if he followed his old pal Artie the Strongest Man in the World’s workout plan, he would see some better results.

Shelby Woo of The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo

Cracking spooky cases with the help of her friends, Irene Ng portrayed whip-smart teenager Shelby Woo for three years on Snick. Turns out her intelligence was no act. After playing adolescent Lindo in critically acclaimed The Joy Luck Club, she went on to attend Harvard and work at Merrill Lynch.

Bobby Walker of Cousin Skeeter

My love for Cousin Skeeter may have to do with my childhood fascination with all things puppet-related. Or, it may have been due to Robert Ri’chard and his gorgeous green eyes. He put up with all of Skeeter’s craziness for 16 episodes. Since, he’s had many small roles (with real people) and was seen most recently as recurring character Derek on Meet the Browns.

Watch the Couric/Palin interview here. One word: Oy.

Suri Cruise has no friends.

Parents just don’t understand….

Drew Barrymore eats Ed Westwick’s face.

McCain cancels on Letterman…tsk tsk tsk.

Justin Long can’t seem to hold onto a lady.

Apparently the 90210 girls DO eat!

Britney Spears channels Posh Spice.

Kirk Cameron is making a comeback.

Threesome for LiLo and Sam…and Mickey Mouse.

Looks like Hef’s Viagra ran out… he loses another one.

Is Tina Fey a bad role model for women?

Michael Lohan’s thoughts on Samantha Ronson and her toilet paper preferences.

Perez Hilton writes a song. If you value your sanity, do not click here.

So 2007 was ruled by your sex-crazed alter-ego. Somehow she coerced you to collect most of those notches on your bed post.

Maybe it was a new-found freedom or maybe it was your secret desire to experience the “Samantha Jones” lifestyle that spawned the behavior. Either way, you’re ready to put her to rest this year and turn over a new leaf.

Letting go of those sexual patterns won’t be easy; after all, the “Sam” in you is likely to put up a fight.

Regain control by first promising yourself that you’ll lay off the guys for a full month. Make your nights out all about the girls; not finding a hot frat boy to go home with. Worried that you’ll slip up? Tell your friends to keep an eye on you. Above all, give them permission to remind you of your resolution or take you home on account of bad behavior.

If you don’t think you’ll be able to harness “the Sam” with a few drinks in you, then lower the booze intake. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out at all. A sober view of things may be a real wake-up call.

And while we’re on the subject of calls, absolutely none involving booty. When you’ve successfully made it home without a man at your hip, you may feel lonely and want to invite your latest hook-up over. Don’t! Turn off your phone or go snuggle with one of your roommates.

Once you begin to take action, that alter-you will only be a memory.

For those of you who missed the airing, or the hundred replays this week on VH1, I offer you this recap of all that went down on the final episode of my favorite show this year.

The show was hosted by Riki Rachtman. (for those of you who were three when he was famous, Rachtman was the host of Headbanger’s Ball in the 80’s and a close friend of Axl Rose).

Rachtman brought out the “Barbie Twins” first; Kristia and Brandi C. These two are either really stupid, or incredibly good at using their dumb acts to their advantage. The two are living together in Los Angeles and often share the same bed. They like to put their enormous breasts together to think better. This gets Bret “a little turned on.” Apparently everyone on reality TV has a clothing line coming out, and these two are no exception. I’m sure it’s going to do really well. Right?

Then comes a crowd favorite- crazy crazy Rodeo. She still has that really nutty look in her eye and tells Bret that she wants a second chance with him. He tries with all his might to ignore the comment and not make things incredibly awkward. They are, and become even more awkward when Rodeo pulls out her Barbeque sauce and plugs. That’s right Rodeo makes Barbeque sauce and it’s organic to boot. Her sex noises however turned Bret on.

Next, Riki calls down of my personal favorite gals, Sam, and she looks cute as ever. Sam tells Riki and Bret that she was grossed out by Bret’s sex with Lacey and threesomes with the twins. She didn’t know what she expected but she knew she was better than them. So when she left she knew it was right and Bret was not someone she was going to have an intimate mental connection with. Bret says he was turned on by the F-you kiss she gave him.

Lacey time! The crazy self-made villain comes out guns blazing. She’s ready for anything and actually presents herself fairly well. She’s in some sort of production with VH1 to host a rocker show (yes the trust fund baby, so rock and roll). She fully admits to sleeping with Bret which I have to give her props for because at least she’s not evil and a liar. Her and Dallas start to go at it again in regards to animal rights (who cares?!) and Lacey gives Dallas a T-Shirt she made that says “Dallas Loves Michael Vick.” Dallas responds by saying she doesn’t date black men. Can this shit get any better? Heather and Lacey kiss and make up, and decide they both aren’t whores after all. Bret pops a boner.

Heather looks amazing, sporting a faux “Sucks” tattoo under the now infamously permanent “Bret” insignia on the back of her neck. She seems to have transcended the 80’s hair and she looks gorgeous. Being rejected by Bret has done good things for her. She says that she still cares about Bret, and he’ll be in her heart forever and vice versa. Blah blah, Bret says he still wants to f*&^ her.

Jes finally comes out and there is an awkward cheek kiss. They haven’t spoken in six months and she’s clearly pissed off about the way he treated her after the show wrapped. She says flat out he belongs with Heather, and Bret Michaels is too much of a pussy for actually admitting that he could fall in love with Heather.

As cool as Jes is, she did seem too cool for the entire show. Why on earth was she there? I gave her a lot of respect for passing her Rock of Love title onto Heather and the end of the show left us wondering, and wanting to know if Bret and Heather have found each other. I have a sneaking suspicion the answer is no, but that just means in about 6 months the void in my life will be able to be filled with “Rock of Love: 2.”