This week, while college students everywhere bum out before classes begin, some celebs broke up, some got together, some were just plain crazy, and Snooki made books a joke. In other words, after a few weeks of relatively little gossip, a lot of marriages and proposals, and a lot of break-ups, it looks like celebrities have finally gotten back into their old random ways. Yay!

Winter Break Spent Drinking With Friends

1. Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez were spotted kissing – and the crazy death threats began. You would never think that an innocent relationship between two of young Hollywood’s cutest stars would cause 12-year-old girls all over the world pronouncing death threats – but then I guess you can if that relationship involves the Biebs. After weeks of rumors over whether or not Selena & Justin were dating, the two were photographed kissing and snuggling in little bathing suits (Sigh… it pains me that a 16 and 18-year-old have more a more fabulous life than me). Crazy fans immediately went crazier, tweeting all kinds of death threats to Selena. Girls… did you really think one of you would end up with Justin? Really?

2. David Arquette checked himself into rehab. Apparently, he just couldn’t handle his split from Courteney Cox. Seriously – during an interview on the Howard Stern show, he said that according to his psychologist, he was having a “nervous breakdown”. He also admitted, “I’ve been drinking a lot because I’m heartbroken.” Aw – I actually feel sorry for him. Sources say rehab was much needed. Who knows, maybe this divorce won’t go through after all.

Read More »

Is it just me or does it just feel wrong when Kanye smiles?

Let’s be serious, this year’s VMA’s were quite lackluster. And not just because I didn’t report on the red carpet this year. I expected to tune in for the lolz, dramz and maybe a few interruptions or two. All I got was into a freaking Delorean and rocketed back to 1999 where I saw the likes of Usher, Eminem and Linkin Park performing with lasers everywhere, a la J.Lo’s “Waiting for Tonight” music video. Oh, those 5th grade memories.

Somehow, between two hours of commercials and a mediocre-at-best pre-show episode of Jersey Shore (which I’m also recapping in this post, because I believe in synergy and cohesion… as does MTV), MTV managed to make a lovely Lady Gaga hour for everyone. And Cher was there too. And some chick that looked like a low-budget version of Pink. Seriously, who was that? What a waste. I should’ve watched Entourage. Thank God for DVR. However, there were a few highlights in last night’s show, so let’s review: the highs and the lows. Read More »

Looks like Lindsay Lohan won’t be completing her full 90-day jail sentence.  Due to “overcrowding” in the L.A. county jail system, she can make it out from behind bars in less than two weeks.  Sounds to me like the judge’s daughter couldn’t go three whole months without a little LiLo crazy in her life.  Good thing, because neither could we!

While this whole reduced sentence thing is totally great for Linds, it still completely sucks for us.  She was so inconsiderate to be incarcerated during the summer.  Seriously!  Most of our fave TV shows are on hiatus, the celebs have shipped out to various luxury islands, and the three-year-old sitting next to me just bit a chunk out of my Us Weekly (ugh, babysitting).

Fear not, because in a moment of absolute panic I devised a brilliant schedule to keep us entertained while Lindsay knits leggings in jail.  After all, what do they say to do after a loved one departs?  Gotta keep busy!

Day 1: Today is a day for reflection.  We, as a society, need to look at what we have done to drive the Queen of Spandex into a bottomless downward spiral.  I encourage everyone to watch The Parent Trap and shed a tear for the good ol’ days.  Rice crispy treats and juice boxes optional.

Day 2: You probably ended up sobbing yesterday as you enjoyed your double dose of drug-free Lindsay.  Do you look like hell today?  Puffy eyes, tissues stuffed in your pockets…maybe just a little?  Well good news, it’s detox day!  Go for a run, eat some blueberries, throw on a face mask. Here’s your chance to do everything our favorite girl didn’t.

Day 3: July 23^rd is National Ice Cream day.  Yum!  Call the girlfriends over and turn your kitchen into a Sundae Buffet.  In honor of Lindsay’s once-curvier figure, go all out by splurging on toppings.  Oreo crumbles, gummy worms, hot fudge…LiLo was never afraid of mixing substances, so you shouldn’t be either. Read More »

Phew. I wasn’t sure if I’d make it 90 days without her shenans.

Wait, are Sam and Lilo BFFs again?

Uh, what happened to J-WOWW’s belly button in Maxim?

8 tried and true ways to shed the pounds fast.

Tiffany’s 2010 collection makes me weak in the knees.

Usher’s ex tells all.

Guess who decided to up and pull a diva move?  No, Mariah Carey isn’t castrating an intern for bringing her flat water instead of sparking (though, probably she is).  It’s those darn Jersey Shore kids!  Rumor has it that before the second season has even premiered, they’re fighting for salary raises, refusing to do a third season unless their demands are met.  That name brand hair gel must really cost a lot.

Well you know what?  I don’t think MTV should give in to the whims of these petulant guidos and guidettes.  I mean, why are they even famous in the first place?  It’s time to get the real stars “down the shore”.  Bring in the spray tan guns, I’ve got some replacements!

Pam Anderson as JWOWW

This would work for two really big reasons.  No, not those reasons.  First, both Pam and J are tough as nails.  Would you want to run into either of them in a dark alley or under the boardwalk?  These biatches would grab you by the extensions like your head was the last sparkle tee at a Bebe sale.  Second, I’m pretty sure they’re the only two women on the planet who think they’d make good fashion designers.  Yes, Pammy and Ms.Woww both have clothing lines.

Brody Jenner as Vinny

“Ma, my chicken parm needs cuttin’!  And bring me a little more ziti!”  Switching from one mama’s boy to another, Brody wouldn’t skip a beat subbing in for Vinny.  They’re both funny, charismatic, and popular with the ladies.  Plus, maybe it’s just me, but I think the Bro is a significant visual upgrade.

Foxy Cleopatra as Snooki

Yes, that’s right.  Nicole Richie’s beloved Pomeranian, Foxy Cleopatra, would make the absolute perfect Snooki replacement.  Not only could MTV get her in on a lower pay grade, but I bet she’d be loyal as a dog to the show.  It would be remiss to hire someone who wasn’t equally as orange-tinted and poof-y as the original star.

Lou Ferrigno as Ronnie

They’re both huge.  The similarities really stop there, but there’s not much else to work with.

Danielle Staub as Angelina

Okay, tell me Danielle wouldn’t give her left boob implant to be a twenty-something again living it up down the shore with an entourage of juiceheads.  And Angelina, who goes by “Jolie”, lives in an alternate reality, much like the most-loathed Housewife of NJ.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re the same home-wrecking, fame-whoring person.

Kristen Stewart as Sammi

Aww, but Sammi’s just a sweetheart, right?  Wrong!  She’s a mean, unsmiling little brat just like K-Stew.  The only time you’ll notice the switch is when Kristen’s on the beach slathered in SPF 150 hiding under an umbrella in long sleeves.  Don’t want to lose that deathly pallor.

Doug Reinhardt as Mike “The Situation”

They both really, really like themselves.  Seriously, why else would they each need their own “official” website?  Ooh, look: Doug describes himself as an “athlete and entrepreneur” while the Situation prefers to operate as someone who “knows what he wants from his summer at the Jersey Shore and is not going to let anything stop him from getting it”.  Well now!

Samantha Ronson as Pauly D

They both have mad DJing skills and horrific hair.  Not to mention the ladies love ‘em!

There are a few rumors and secrets floating around….

8 tips to feel a little sexier in the bedroom.

Can someone please take Twitter away from Lilo?

Do promiscuous women cause earthquakes?

8 fun ways to incorporate linen this Spring.

Kelly Clarkson’s hawking cigarettes…sorta.

Dear Lindsay,

Word on the street is that they’re trying to make you go to rehab and you say no, no, no. While Amy Winehouse turned that jam into a monster hit, do you really want it to be the theme song to your E! True Hollywood Story? I have to be brutally honest with you, Linds; you’re not looking good. We all see that damaged, over-processed hair and all that chain smoking as if your life depends on it.

Remember when you used to look like this? Now, you’ll be lucky if you don’t crack that orange, leathery face of yours.

And here’s an FYI: just because pills are “prescribed” doesn’t mean you can down them like Tic-Tacs. Have we learned nothing from the loss of Heath Ledger last year? Granted Heath was a sexier blond than you will ever strive to be, you don’t have to drown your sorrows in a water bottle filled with vodka. Yes, we’ve caught on to you.

So what’s next for you, LiLo? We are all waiting with bated breath. Do you honestly want to say you hit your peak as a Mean Girl? That your last stab at acting not only didn’t make it to theaters, but went straight to ABC Family!?

Can’t you see that you’ve hit rock bottom? I thought it was blatantly obvious when you accepted the role in I Know Who Killed Me. Perhaps you were trying to relive the twin glory that you received from The Parent Trap, but playing the part of a strip club amputee and her equally mutilated twin sister was not your finest hour. And from I’ve seen of your pole-dancing skills, I’d urge you not to quit your day job. Oh wait – you’ve already done that. Read More »

Oy vey.

Last week, AOL’s Parent Dish blog posted an interview with Jon Gosselin in which the revolting reality star revealed that he’s flirting with Judaism. His current girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, is a Member of the Tribe herself, and she’s apparently turned him on to the wonders of Jewish holidays and munchies: “I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I’m learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar’s. I love that place. I’m learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself,” he said.

The interviewer then asked Jon if he can see himself converting, and he replied by saying that he’s already spoken to Rabbi Shmuley, star of TLC’s Shalom in the Home and Michael Jackson’s former BFF.

Jon’s only the latest in a long line of public figures who have made headlines by dabbling in Judaism—Britney Spears was spotted wearing a Star of David this summer, fueling rumors that she was switching religious teams to get closer to once and current boyfriend Jason Trawick. Lindsay Lohan reportedly announced on Facebook that she was converting for Samantha Ronson, although it’s unclear whether she went through with it since she and Sam split up last spring. And don’t forget about Madonna, whose uber-Christian name makes her devotion to Kabbalah insanely ironic. Read More »

Doesn't get much cheaper than a ghost. Just cut out a hole for easy drinking.

In these hard economic times, I simply cannot justify buying a $115 mermaid costume, no matter how magical I would look come Halloween night. Especially when I have a plethora of items lying around my house, that when properly utilized can be the ultimate Halloween costume.  Here are some cheap and easy homemade costumes that will come in handy during my time of monetary despair.

Static Cling – I can’t count the number of times I’ve walked out of the house with a sock attached to my back. Static cling is the worst, but it’s also the best costume idea when you’re out of ideas and money. Wear an all-white or black outfit and pin socks and other loose articles of clothing to yourself. No muss, no fuss, you’re static cling and you like it.

Be a Real Housewife: The women of Bravo’s hit series “The Real Housewives of ….” have become icons, for better or worse. You may love to hate them, but you’re also going to love dressing up as them. It’s as easy as throwing on a sassy dress and decking yourself out in some serious bling. Top it off with over-sized sunglasses and a super-stuffed bra and you can have your pick of housewife.

Beer Pong: Just grab a red garbage can, cut out the bottom, slap the SOLO label on the side and you’re everyone’s favorite drinking cup. Grab 9 friends and you’ve got yourself a mobile drinking game.

“Cereal Killer” – You can predict that there will be a great deal of Jason’s and Freddy’s running around this Halloween, but put the comedy into serial killers with this original idea. Hot glue miniature cereal boxes to your shirt and stab them with plastic knives. Add some fake blood running from the boxes for the extra effect.

Kate Gosselin – If you can dig up eight baby dolls and somehow fashion your hair into the spiky coif Kate is famous for, you’ll be set to hit the party scene in the hopes of finding a new and improved Jon to help you tend to your Cabbage Patch dolls. Read More »

So, after what seems like 1,000 years without a little Heidi and Tim in my life, Project Runway made its return last night. For 4.5 hours. And I was in heaven.

Of course, before we got to meet the new designers in the main event, we had a little taste of some of our favorite designers from previous seasons in the Project Runway All-Star Challenge. I was more than happy to spend two hours with Chris March, Santino Rice, Daniel Vosovic, among others, but after seeing the snooze-fest of a cast that is season six, I wish I hadn’t been teased with such greatness.

Yeah, I said it. I think this season’s cast is bo-to-the-ring. But we’ll get to that in a moment.

The All-Star challenge was star studded (Nicole Kidman, what?!), suspenseful (“Project Runway on steroids,” according to Uli), and fun to watch (except for Jeffrey’s new ‘stache – what the eff was up with that?). And it had a fantastic ending for my favorite designer in PR history, which I won’t share here in case some of you missed it. (It was Daniel! Sorry, I can’t keep it to myself. I just love him so much and he should have one the first time around!!)

Once King Daniel was crowned, it was time for the real deal: the Project Runway Season 6 premiere. I ran to the bathroom quickly (turning the TV up loud enough so I wouldn’t miss a moment), then grabbed a snack and settled in for amazingness.

And I waited.
And waited.

Yup. A full 60 mins went by and I got nothing. Sure, some of the new designers proved they had the talent to be on the show, and some of them brought the weird, but did any of them have a Christian/Santino/Jay McCaroll personality? One word: nopers. Read More »