Dear Lindsay,

Word on the street is that they’re trying to make you go to rehab and you say no, no, no. While Amy Winehouse turned that jam into a monster hit, do you really want it to be the theme song to your E! True Hollywood Story? I have to be brutally honest with you, Linds; you’re not looking good. We all see that damaged, over-processed hair and all that chain smoking as if your life depends on it.

Remember when you used to look like this? Now, you’ll be lucky if you don’t crack that orange, leathery face of yours.

And here’s an FYI: just because pills are “prescribed” doesn’t mean you can down them like Tic-Tacs. Have we learned nothing from the loss of Heath Ledger last year? Granted Heath was a sexier blond than you will ever strive to be, you don’t have to drown your sorrows in a water bottle filled with vodka. Yes, we’ve caught on to you.

So what’s next for you, LiLo? We are all waiting with bated breath. Do you honestly want to say you hit your peak as a Mean Girl? That your last stab at acting not only didn’t make it to theaters, but went straight to ABC Family!?

Can’t you see that you’ve hit rock bottom? I thought it was blatantly obvious when you accepted the role in I Know Who Killed Me. Perhaps you were trying to relive the twin glory that you received from The Parent Trap, but playing the part of a strip club amputee and her equally mutilated twin sister was not your finest hour. And from I’ve seen of your pole-dancing skills, I’d urge you not to quit your day job. Oh wait – you’ve already done that. Read More »

Oy vey.

Last week, AOL’s Parent Dish blog posted an interview with Jon Gosselin in which the revolting reality star revealed that he’s flirting with Judaism. His current girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, is a Member of the Tribe herself, and she’s apparently turned him on to the wonders of Jewish holidays and munchies: “I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I’m learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar’s. I love that place. I’m learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself,” he said.

The interviewer then asked Jon if he can see himself converting, and he replied by saying that he’s already spoken to Rabbi Shmuley, star of TLC’s Shalom in the Home and Michael Jackson’s former BFF.

Jon’s only the latest in a long line of public figures who have made headlines by dabbling in Judaism—Britney Spears was spotted wearing a Star of David this summer, fueling rumors that she was switching religious teams to get closer to once and current boyfriend Jason Trawick. Lindsay Lohan reportedly announced on Facebook that she was converting for Samantha Ronson, although it’s unclear whether she went through with it since she and Sam split up last spring. And don’t forget about Madonna, whose uber-Christian name makes her devotion to Kabbalah insanely ironic. Read More »

Doesn't get much cheaper than a ghost. Just cut out a hole for easy drinking.

In these hard economic times, I simply cannot justify buying a $115 mermaid costume, no matter how magical I would look come Halloween night. Especially when I have a plethora of items lying around my house, that when properly utilized can be the ultimate Halloween costume.  Here are some cheap and easy homemade costumes that will come in handy during my time of monetary despair.

Static Cling – I can’t count the number of times I’ve walked out of the house with a sock attached to my back. Static cling is the worst, but it’s also the best costume idea when you’re out of ideas and money. Wear an all-white or black outfit and pin socks and other loose articles of clothing to yourself. No muss, no fuss, you’re static cling and you like it.

Be a Real Housewife: The women of Bravo’s hit series “The Real Housewives of ….” have become icons, for better or worse. You may love to hate them, but you’re also going to love dressing up as them. It’s as easy as throwing on a sassy dress and decking yourself out in some serious bling. Top it off with over-sized sunglasses and a super-stuffed bra and you can have your pick of housewife.

Beer Pong: Just grab a red garbage can, cut out the bottom, slap the SOLO label on the side and you’re everyone’s favorite drinking cup. Grab 9 friends and you’ve got yourself a mobile drinking game.

“Cereal Killer” – You can predict that there will be a great deal of Jason’s and Freddy’s running around this Halloween, but put the comedy into serial killers with this original idea. Hot glue miniature cereal boxes to your shirt and stab them with plastic knives. Add some fake blood running from the boxes for the extra effect.

Kate Gosselin – If you can dig up eight baby dolls and somehow fashion your hair into the spiky coif Kate is famous for, you’ll be set to hit the party scene in the hopes of finding a new and improved Jon to help you tend to your Cabbage Patch dolls. Read More »

So, after what seems like 1,000 years without a little Heidi and Tim in my life, Project Runway made its return last night. For 4.5 hours. And I was in heaven.

Of course, before we got to meet the new designers in the main event, we had a little taste of some of our favorite designers from previous seasons in the Project Runway All-Star Challenge. I was more than happy to spend two hours with Chris March, Santino Rice, Daniel Vosovic, among others, but after seeing the snooze-fest of a cast that is season six, I wish I hadn’t been teased with such greatness.

Yeah, I said it. I think this season’s cast is bo-to-the-ring. But we’ll get to that in a moment.

The All-Star challenge was star studded (Nicole Kidman, what?!), suspenseful (“Project Runway on steroids,” according to Uli), and fun to watch (except for Jeffrey’s new ’stache – what the eff was up with that?). And it had a fantastic ending for my favorite designer in PR history, which I won’t share here in case some of you missed it. (It was Daniel! Sorry, I can’t keep it to myself. I just love him so much and he should have one the first time around!!)

Once King Daniel was crowned, it was time for the real deal: the Project Runway Season 6 premiere. I ran to the bathroom quickly (turning the TV up loud enough so I wouldn’t miss a moment), then grabbed a snack and settled in for amazingness.

And I waited.
And waited.

Yup. A full 60 mins went by and I got nothing. Sure, some of the new designers proved they had the talent to be on the show, and some of them brought the weird, but did any of them have a Christian/Santino/Jay McCaroll personality? One word: nopers. Read More »

How to watch the longest solar eclipse of the century.

This is…well, just watch it.

Susan Boyle’s lookin HOT!

Yet another big fight for Lindsay and Samantha.

Ted Gibson tells you what not to wear.

Wait, Demi Lovato was dating HIM?!

Seriously, it’s getting really hard to hate Angelina when she’s so damn perfect.

Lady Gaga and Marilyn Manson?

10 fashion tips that will never go out of style.

Is there a Samantha Ronson reality show in the works?

Chew gum, get bigger breasts.

Calvin Klein gets naughty.

When I was in middle school and I had to choose between two boys who wanted to take me to the 7th grade dance, my mom told me to make a list. (Mind you, that was the last time I ever had 2 boys fighting over me…) After noting that one of the boys had far more cons (like picking his nose…and eating it), I had my answer. Since then, I’ve used lists to make all of my difficult life decisions: beer or vodka, Kris Allen or Adam Lambert, flats or wedges…

And now: which celeb is worse for the future of society.

This week’s showdown is between two ladies who are tainting our youth, one racy photo at a time: Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus. Who is wreaking more havoc? Let’s break it down: Read More »

While there are definitely tons of perks that come with being a celebrity, like the money, nice clothes, and invites to awesome Hollywood parties (to name just a few), fame also has its drawbacks.

Like the paps.

Being a mere mortal, I love the freedom I have of being able to go out of my house in sweatpants and no makeup without fear that an unflattering picture of it would show up online later that day, followed closely by the rag mags discussing my cellulite, my hair and my major fashion Don’t.

And I don’t even want to think of having to deal with my personal life in front of the world. After watching the media frenzy surrounding Lindsay and Sam’s recent breakup, I have really started to feel bad for our little LiLo. I know she’s sort of an attention whore (with a laundry list of issues), but the absolute last thing I’d want to deal with after a big break-up is constant media attention.

Just imagine what it would be like to have to deal with a heartbreaking break up while the world was watching your every move. Would you want the paparazzi swarming you when you’re walking to class in baggy sweats, no makeup, and puffy eyes from crying? Or have photos taken of you while you stock up on cookie dough and Doritos to numb the pain of a broken heart? I know I’d like to avoid any and all photos when I spontaneously burst into tears at the mere mention of beer (“OMG MY EX LOOOOVED BEEEEEEER. Waaaaah”).  Read More »

Lindsay Lohan speaks.

SJP and Matthew Broderick are divorcing?

Seychelles and Smashbox unite!

New tunes from No Doubt!

Eminem is back (back again).

Sam Ronson wants a restraining order from crazy Lindsay.

Need an excuse? Try the economy.

What is the most stressful moment of a relationship?

Katy Perry shares her thoughts on marriage.

What’s your hangover cure?

Victoria Beckham is too busy for Ugly Betty.

Get that perfect sunkissed look for Spring.