Both the Huffington Post and the New York Times have recently gotten really interested in girl-on-girl action (but don’t worry, this has nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson. Absolutely nothing. Seriously. Nothing). They’ve gotten so interested, in fact, that they’ve dedicated whole columns to trying to figure out why it seems like chicks dig other chicks.

Let me break it down for them (and you, if you really don’t know): chicks dig chicks because we’ve been taught to dig chicks.

Why do women seem to have a more fluid sexuality than men – at least that anyone will admit? Because since we came shrieking out of the womb, we’ve seen images of women in every stage of undress – including naked. Advertisements for razors with long, leisurely shots of legs. TV shows that have a mandatory wardrobe of tight clothes and short skirts. A bajillion movies where tits and ass flash across the screen so often that we eventually forget guys even have body parts. Music videos full of bling and boob. Reality TV where hot tubs are as mandatory as microphones. Porn (who could forget porn?). I mean, it’s not an old argument that the media is saturated with the female form.

So why are we all puzzled that girls get a little aroused when they see other naked or semi-naked girls? Read More »

In this episode, Ali finally experiences the price she’ll pay for being “just” like her sister. Dressed like a Firewoman stripper, Ali goes to a block party in LoLand and is severely creamed. Shaving creamed — minds out of the gutter! Dina gets a call from the school guidance counselor telling her some serious harassing went down at escuela, they agree it’s best for Ali to stay home for a few days.

First of all Ali, if you are serious about becoming your sister, I have some advice:

Lindsay would not have taken that shiz! One false move and that’s a Grey Groose martini down the front of your Betsey Johnson.

Ali asks Dina if she can be home-schooled, but Dina’s only advice is that she’d love to see Ali on stage…at graduation. Dina goes to other members of the LoClan for help. Nana (yes!) suggests that Ali needs to stand up to these mean girls. Michael Lohan Jr. (I didn’t know he existed?) adds that every girl has to cope with a few megabitches throughout life, but it’s just part of growing up.

Dina ignores both of them and continues to baby Ali and give her special attention, like in dance class. Dina found IMPACT online and thinks it’s great. Ali thinks IMPACT is “STUPID”. I can’t tell if this is just a typical weird mom idea, or an attempt to showcase Ali’s multi-cultural appreciation. And then Dina gets down while Ali watches embarrassedly. I love her more and more every episode. Read More »

We pick up where last week’s episode left off, with Ali drilling Jeremy for an explanation for his bizarre online interview. The argument sounds like thousands I’ve heard my drunk friends have with their long distance boyfriends via cell phone. I listen to Ali and Jeremy run around in circles until Ali reads something of interest from the article: “I wanna marry Lindsay”…I want to marry your sister. Ali says that Jeremy has told her this in person as well. Um, and that didn’t tip you off that he was USING YOU?!?!

Whatever, Ali’s pissed because Jeremy has a crush on Lindsay and not her. Jeremy’s probably pissed because Lindsay has a crush on Samantha Ronson and not him.

Their fight concludes (or is postponed) freaking finally. Ali says she doesn’t trust anyone but her family anymore (not what you said last week.) And goes to her wise and showbiz weary mother for advice.

Dina explains that “we all make mistakes” (especially her–although I don’t know if you can consider raising trainwrecks mere mistakes). She gives a small lesson in Tabloid Manipulation 101 and tells Ali that “they’ll just have to educate him,” which sounds very creepy Scientologist.

Jeremy enters the house while Dina and Ali chat in the kitchen. He doesn’t knock or anything, just breezes right in. Dina then begins to mediate Ali and Jeremy’s argument. Read More »

Q: What is Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s relationship to one another? Are they…

a) Best friends

b) Roommates

c) Dating

d) Engaged

A: All of the above, apparently. HAHA, GOT YOU GOOD, F*CKERS!

But seriously. According to thesuperficial.com, Perez, the Daily Mail, the New York Post, and probably a hoard of other gossip mongers that I haven’t bothered to look at, Lohan and Ronson were spotted kissing on P. Diddy’s boat in Cannes this weekend. The Post also reports that that the two ladies have moved in together, and word on the street is that Lohan was seen at the D&G party in Cannes wearing a diamond ring on her engagement finger.

Rumors started floating around last year that Ronson, an actual factual lesbian, and Lohan were dating, but until these recent developments there wasn’t a lot of evidence to back it up. Leshan’s (no? no dice? alright) reps deny that she’s “gotten in to the catnip” so to speak, and maintain that her and Ronson are just BFFs, but these pics suggest otherwise. Read More »

Oh Lindsay Lohan, will you ever learn?

How many times will hackers expose personal celebrity information before they get an external hard drive? Apparently everyone’s favorite rehabbed starlet’s MySpace has been allegedly hacked yet again and this time Lilo’s love letters have been revealed addressed to none other than DJ and club kid Samantha Ronson. But the question remains: Who the hell is Samantha Ronson and where did she come from?

Ronson’s mother is Ann Jones, a British party loving socialite/rock star wife and, of all things, a philanthropist, who supports youth rehabilitation charities. The mother of five is married to Rick Jones from the band Foreigner. Other famous offspring include son Mark, a New York DJ and daughter Charlotte (Samantha‘s twin) of the Charlotte Ronson Fashion line .

Born into a world of limos and high society, the Ronson clan only seems to be climbing higher atop the social scene. Their lovely mother was quoted in New York Magazine saying; “I am known as Mummy Dearest, I changed the locks when Mark snuck out to Sean Lennon’s because Pearl Jam was coming over. I told the nanny — I was away at the time — he will not sneak in the back door.” Read More »

Lindsay Lohan may not be a role model in the traditional sense, but if there’s one thing that we can learn from our favorite recently rehabbed starlet it’s this: Confessing your undying love on MySpace never turns out well. Ever.

According to Star, Linds and her BFF DJ Samantha Ronson are in the midst of a sordid affair — complete with love confessions via blogs and comments and have been for quite awhile now.

Wow, the stars really ARE just like us!

Any of this sound famaliar?

The following were all sent by Ms. Lohan. Try not to judge. Read More »