With Spring Break fast approaching (more on that here!), it’s time to start thinking about what you’ll be wearing with that margarita on the hot, sandy beaches. That also means it’s time to get your bikini bod ready and prep yourself for the agony of swimsuit shopping.

But while you might dread seeing your pasty skin or winter bulge under the fluorescent changing room lights, there are so many adorable swimsuits to distract you from the horrors you (think you) see staring back at you from the unforgiving mirror. (Seriously, is that a fun house mirror?!)

Swimwear is fun! It’s also one of the best times to experiment with trends. If you’re otherwise shy about stripes, polka dots or colorful, abstract patterns, swimsuits are the easiest way to embrace it all. It’s a chance to make a statement and stand out. To go a little wild. To highlight your best assets. Because the chances of being remembered on the crowded beaches of Cancun in a boring black bikini are slim to none.

So dust the snow off your shoulders and strip down all those layers. It’s time to think Spring (Break)! [Click on any swimsuit to shop it!]

I was really confused until the next day when I was catching up on my reading (PopEater, CollegeCandy, actual News, Newsfeed) and came across an article boasting the benefits of running barefoot. Which, I deduced, was what those guys were mimicing, without having to actually touch their bare feet to the nasty gym floor.

Yes, according to researchers at Harvard, the best (most beneficial and safest on your body) way to run is SANS SHOES. Though it doesn’t seem to make sense to most of us, runners who say no to their Nikes hold their feet differently, thereby making themselves less prone to injury. The study went on to find that when running without shoes, runners hit the ground with the balls of their feet first, rather than with their heels. Which is a good thing.

The conductor of the study, Daniel Lieberman, said that runners who run barefoot have an “astonishingly different strike” and that “by landing on the middle or front of the foot, barefoot runners have almost no impact collision, much less than most shoe runners generate when they heel-strike.”

That’s all fine and good but, um, but what about that whole pavement, dirt, sand, BROKEN JAGER BOTTLES, aspect of running barefoot???

Liberman claims that “Most people today think barefoot running is dangerous and hurts, but actually you can run barefoot on the world’s hardest surfaces without the slightest discomfort and pain. All you need is a few calluses to avoid roughing up the skin of the foot.”

A few calluses? Okay, I’ll be sure to tell my pedicurist to not remove them next time.

The upsides to running barefoot include a springier step and more engagement of your calf and foot muscles, stated the study. Another upside is a slightly improved level of control. “When you run barefoot, your body precisely engages your vision, your brain, the soles of your feet, and all the muscles, bones, tendons, and supporting structures of your feet and legs. They leap to red alert, and give you a high degree of protection from the varied pressures and forces of running.”

Downsides? Jager glass.

But seriously, people have been running barefoot since…the beginning of time? It can’t be that bad. If you do decide to shun your Shox, start by running on a slightly softer surface, such as sand or dirt trial. Otherwise, not to be outdone but running au natural, Nike has their own line of “barefoot” running shoes called Nike Free. They give you the feeling of running barefoot without the calluses. Or weird looking gorilla shoes.

Summer time is here and romance is in the air.  Beachy hair, tan skin, and cute boys are the perfect combo getting everyone in the mood for some love and lust.  So what better way to take advantage of the good weather, spice up the sex life, and get down and dirty (literally) than to take it outside?

Gettin’ naughty a pool, hot tub, or on the beach has been a popular fantasy since Adam gave it to Eve in the Garden of Eden. But maybe it’s not such a good idea. Studies show that this seemingly adventurous act may not be worth the risks, after all.

Condoms + Water = Bad
Thanks to the chemicals used in swimming pools and hot tubs, condoms can be totally ineffective. They can rupture and deteriorate from the heat and chlorine, not to mention slip right off because of the water.  And yes, your chances of getting pregnant in the water are the same, so don’t think you can just skip using the latex this time.

Beach + Sex = Badder
A study published in the Environmental Science and Technology Journal found that there are some dangerous microbes in that luxurious beach sand.  Also, 91% of the beaches in the study had detectable levels of enterococco (bacteria that can cause UTI’s, endocarditis, diverictulitis and meningitis).  I don’t even know what half of those are, but they sure don’t sound good.

Sand Between You…Well, You Know
Sand may feel good to sink your toes in, but it’s not the same story when you sink your vajayjay in there.  Not only is a sandpapery vajay uncomfortable (ew), but it can cause major infections and take a long time to remove completely.  Not to mention, there are some creepy crawlers in the sand. You’ve already got one scary thing comin’ at ya, do you really want to worry about one with pinchers?

Not-So-Hot Tubs
Although these bubbly baths of joy may seem like the perfect place for some steamy, hot sex, the truth is, they are more like bubbly baths of bacteria.  Gettin’ it on in the hot tub could leave you with a nasty yeast infection or other unpleasant ailments.

Being In Water Doesn’t Mean You’re “Wet”
Water can wash away our natural lubrication, causing sex to far less enjoyable than you’d like. So if you’re still turned on by water sex after reading the above facts, your little gal pal downstairs may not agree.

Bad for The Boys
A 2007 study conducted by the University of California, San Fransisco, found that wet heat can cause fertility problems for men.  Although, on second thought, that might not be such a bad thing…

Sorry to ruin the mood, ladies, but it seems like keeping the sex indoors might not sound as fun, but will keep you infection free. (Well, as long as that boy’s sheets are clean…)

Well, this spring break I’m doing things a little different; I’m going to think outside the box and break the souvenir norm. Who said souvenirs had to be “fun” or “safe”?

Gone are the days of snow globes, useless thimbles, ugly t-shirts and fragile shot-glasses. Instead, I have come up with five ideas of what to bring back from those sunny spring break cities. Whether you need gifts for your friends or mementos for yourself, these ideas will keep the memory alive for years to come.

1. A new last name: Why not pull a Mariah and come back with a hyphenate? There’s a reason celebrity vacations splash the covers of tabloids, and that reason is scandal. Nothing spells gossip like spontaneous beach-side nuptials. Friends and commitment-phobes alike will enjoy this souvenir, just remember to get Britney’s annulment lawyer before you sign your new name on the dotted line.

2. An STD: Burning, itching, and oozing bumps don’t necessarily sound fun, but think it through for a minute. STDs mean irresponsibility and spring break means a break from responsibility… see where I’m going with this? It’s hard to forget a hot spring break hook up when you have the clap as a reminder.

3. Sand: Ever get those little bottles of sand from some far away pristine beach? Why buy one when you can empty the sand that has unavoidably collected in every freaking crevice of luggage, pant leg and shoe imaginable.

4. Sun Burn: Tans fade but sun damage lasts a lifetime. Peeling, wrinkles, sun spots will suck the youth from your skin and surely remind you of those fresh faced college days when you are old and leathery.

5. Insufficient Funds: Maybe the meanest message that has ever appeared on an ATM, but still so meaningful. What do they mean? These two words mean airfare, mini bar charges, scuba lessons and a whole week worth of unaffordable fun. Your jet ski rentals may only last a week, but your debt will last far longer.

What are you bringing home from spring break this year?

With the advent of summer upon us, I decided it was high time I was no longer a sex on the beach virgin. I grabbed my manfriend (chuckle chuckle, Carrie Bradshaw) and headed to the shore.

It was a perfect night for just being at the beach, let alone hooking up. Full moon, light breeze and crashing waves. Very romance novel. So boyfriend and I wandered along the beach until we found a secluded(ish) spot.

When we got there, however, I found that I could have done with some good advice before embarking on this adventure. So for all you beach bunny virgins out there contemplating some sea-side action, here is what I wish my experienced girlfriends had told me:

Bring a Flashlight: Luckily for us, the moon was enormous and lit our way pretty well. I happen to be completely blind in the smallest amount of darkness, though, and was petrified of stepping on baby sea turtles. If it’s even semi-cloudy out, a small light should help you navigate.

Don’t forget the blanket! And make it a big one. For a girl who considers a hotel without room service roughing it, I felt surprisingly one with nature. This may have had to do with the stray grains of sand making themselves uncomfortable in my back/chest/butt/eyeballs. I also got considerably less kisses on my neck (my favorite!) because boyfriend kept coming up with mouthfuls of sand.

Consider bringing some “accessories”: The al fresco factor of beach boinking is definitely a plus. I felt so free (cheesy, I know); but while all that open air and exposure to the elements felt g-r-e-a-t when we were cooling off afterwards, it made things a little difficult to get going. Luckily, boyfriend thought ahead to bring lube. This also might help if you are nervous about being caught/ arrested for lewd behavior, leading to distraction. It’s always good to bring back up!

Get creative! Boyfriend luh-huvved the “versatility” it allowed him in positioning. This was a factor I hadn’t even considered, but he said that the consistency of the sand gave him a ton of freedom in his movement, and made everything newer and more comfortable. Next time we get the chance for some S on the B, I plan on capitalizing on my old sand castle building skills. Feel free to dig, mound and pile the sand under your blanket to create new positions– it’s like mother nature’s response to the liberator.

Enjoy the, um, scenery. Now I’m not suggesting you tune out your partner to listen to the breeze, or attempt to synchronize your orgasm with crashing waves (although that would be impressively symbolic), just appreciate the added element it adds to the act. The beach is so gorgeous at night and is practically tailor made for good good lovin’. So get out there and embrace your inner nature goddess; your lucky beach mate will thank you!