It’s clear that there’s a lot to worry about when you meet up with somebody for the first time, so try to cross at least one thing off of the Worry List by having a low-stress meal. These five things are not the way to go for first date fare:

1. Mexican.

Refried beans are soooo delicious, yes, but the effects are musical, and you really don’t want that to happen at an inopportune time.

2. Sandwiches/burgers more than three inches thick.

Honestly, these are the most annoying things ever, and they will embarrass you when you least expect it. When you finally maneuver the thing so that it’s possible to put it in your mouth, everything inside it will inevitably spill out onto either your hands or your lap. (Editor’s Note: Sounds familiar to the bedroom festivities later. Ayoooo!) You can’t eat them with a knife and fork, either, for fear of looking like an extreme neatnik.

3. Really spicy food.

If you eat spicy things regularly, that’s cool, but make sure that your date does, too. If you don’t make a habit of chowing down on chilis, the first date is not the time to start. Eating the food might be an adventure, but you run the risk of ending up in a physically uncomfortable spot before the end of the night.

4. Hole in the walls that actually look like hole in the walls.

I’m all for trying new restaurants, especially if they come with positive reviews or recommendations. But for first dates, avoid places you’ve never heard of if they look a little shady. Your stomach might tell you it’s a great idea to load up at that dingy all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, but you’re probably going to pay the price later.

5. Barbecues.

With undercooked meat, lukewarm potato salad, and fly-infested watermelon, the potential for food poisoning here is just way too high.

What would YOU never eat or order on a first date?

[Image courtesy of newpersuasion.typepad.com.]

During my vegetarian kick this winter, I was determined to get enough protein and, ironically, fat in my diet. Cheese was good, milk was fine, and I cannot say enough about my obsession with avocado, but what I needed was something of the nut variety to add a little to my meals. Peanut butter was the obvious choice.

It’s cheap and easy. It’s pre-made. It’s delicious. But I can’t eat the Jifs or the Skippys. They’re too sweet, no matter how choosy my mom is. In actuality, because my mom is diabetic, she was the one who considered them too sweet, and so, by default, I went natural.

Initially I was a little repulsed, because the peanut oil settles on top of the mashed-up peanuts themselves and it requires stirring, but I soon got over this. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not (quite) that lazy. The good news is, if you are that lazy, you can buy pre-mixed natural peanut butter; I just prefer the Smuckers glass jars of it. Essentially, I go through about a jar of this stuff every ten days, and I think you get the idea of how much I love it. Before you judge me for eating it out of the far with a spoon, I am going to share with you the amazing and different ways to enjoy your PB au Natural:

1) As an accessory for fruit. Sliced apples or bananas are amazing with a little dab of PB.

2) In the classic sandwich. Only my favorite twist to the classic PB and J is to use spreadable fruit and toast the sandwich, almost like a grilled cheese. So, so yummy.

3) In your stir fry. Add a tablespoon to your sautéed vegetables with teriyaki sauce for a nutty flavor.

4) With your breakfast. Whole grain or whole wheat frozen waffles toasted and covered in peanut butter makes a ridiculously easy start to your day. If you’re feeling extra creative and making pancakes from mix, add a couple dollops of PB to your batter for some flavor. My trick with this is to also add marshmallows before the first flip of a pancake, and it’s like eating a Fluffernutter for breakfast.

5) With celery. You’re craving a snack, but you don’t want to just grab pretzels, right? (Peanut butter is also great with pretzels, as a PS.) Cut yourself a stalk of celery without making it into thin sticks and fill the hollow with peanut butter for a nice snack.

Got any other serving suggestions? Let us know!

Jared Fogle

What we didn’t know, was that Jared Fogle was not only infamous at his college for eating nothing but Subway and losing over 200 pounds, but also for being the go-to-guy for whenever college students wanted some good ol’ porn.

Best Week Ever has uncovered Jared’s dirty little secrets. While attending Indiana University, he ran a pretty successful pornography business straight from his own bedroom, and apparently had a “wide” variety of porn videos, which he only charged a dollar to rent. Get it? Wide!

It makes total sense that this guy (what a hunk!) spent his college days and nights selling pornos in a little one-bedroom place, only leaving to fill his appetite at the closest fast food joint he could find, which was how he got hooked on Subway in the first place.

Next time you order a 6 inch turkey sub on what with pickles, sprouts and American cheese, keep in mind you’re endorsing a guy who once sold “Saturday Night Beaver” to the kids in his Physics class.

On the up side, it’s nice to see the new and improved Jared has gone on to make something of his life and inspire others to lose weight and feel good, regardless of his scandelous intentions.

Really, I’m not surprised. Sandwiches and porn? What a typical, typical college guy.