God, the kiddies sure do have it made. They have no worries other than what cartoon they will watch after school or what Snack Pack their mom threw in their lunchbox. Their homework consists of 10 math problems and they merely have to sit at a table to be fed a full, delicious home cooked meal.

And sometimes amidst classes and internships and jobs and scrounging around our kitchens for something to eat before our 6-hour library run we all have a pang of longing for that time in our lives. The days when we could sleep all day and not feel guilty that we missed a lecture, a study group and a day’s worth of quality homework progress. And then wake up, have mom make us a snack and drive us to the movies (where she’ll buy the ticket).

But while we do have a ton of responsibility now that we are “grown ups,” we also have a ton of new privileges now that the parentals aren’t breathing down our necks. And let me tell you – I’d trade in my Barbie Jeep for my curfew-less existence any day.

We can eat ice cream for breakfast
Far gone are the days of mom force-feeding us spinach and carrots, taunting us with the fact that we aren’t going to get that scrumptious brownie if we don’t finish all of our dinner. If I want to eat a bag of chips and chocolate cake for lunch, then I’m going to and there’s no one to stop me. Major plus for the grown ups.

We can live in a pigsty
When you played with your toys your mom would inevitably come in screaming that it looked like a tornado had ran through the room. Then she counted down from ten as you jumped into action picking up all of our Barbies and Beanie Babies. Not anymore. Want to toss your jeans over there? Done. That empty cereal bowl on the couch? Totally fine. (That is…until she comes to visit.) Read More »

Wow, Paris Hilton really is a moron.

The best one-hit wonders of the decade.

How much does it cost to party with the kids of Jersey Shore?

Vanessa Hudgens’ nude photos still haunting her.

Which Hollywood fam would you want to spend the holidays with?

"Marijuana is a gateway drug, honey. It will kill you."

It wasn’t until 3 years ago, at the age of 23, that I realized that a red ring won’t show up around you if you pee in my parents’ pool. I had been living in that house and swimming in that pool since the ripe age of 6, running into the freezing cold basement and struggling to pull a wet one-piece up over my ass whenever I had to pee, and it took me 17 years to learn that my parents had been lying to me all along.

Yes, I could have been peeing in that pool for years!

After spending most of my life living a lie (one that protected everyone else swimming with me, I suppose) I started to think back on other things my parents may have been lying about. Like when they told me and my brothers that they didn’t have a favorite child, when clearly that child is me. Or when they told me they’d never done drugs. Bullsh*t, parents!

And I know I’m not the only one who’s been lied to! Apparently it’s a parent’s job to seriously mislead their children. Our friends over at Lemondrop have been lied to, and the CollegeCandy writers have been living some lies, too. Read More »

Lil Wayne nomination domination.

Santa Claus is scary (but totally hilarious)!

Proposition 8, The Musical.

The perfect anti-flu remedy.

Check out the Bromance trailer. It’s gonna be good.

Is Spencer drugging Heidi!?

Self-mutilation takes on a new form.

Madonna is the new face of Gucci.

Ew, shag sweaters?

A few final exam tips.

I’m all about the truth – truth in relationships, truth in politics, truth in what a girl is hiding underneath her undergarments. The act of stuffing should be exclusive to Santa Claus and Thanksgiving.

The Wonderbra was designed to make women feel better about their lack of rack by padding around their mini-rounds. How is that any better than me stuffing a sock around m’thing? It’s false advertising for sure; then again I truly feel for women who are only judged on the size of their womanhood.

It’s a Catch-22, this situation.

While I will never be able to crack the code that is the bosom – we must, we must, we must increase/decrease our bust - I do have a word of advice for any woman feeling down on their endowment: f*** it. Men who resemble pot-bellied pigs with receding hairlines have no right taking down to your tiny tits – especially when they have a tiny d*ck. Read More »