You Go (Standing Up), Girl!

You know what I’ve always wanted to do? Pee standing up.

Seriously. Growing up with two brothers, I was always jealous of how quickly and easily they could rid themselves of their Yoo-Hoo juice boxes. I tried it a few times (I can’t believe I’m admitting this), but it was far from a success. Unless you consider washing the bathmat and changing my pants a success.

My desire for the speediness peeing standing up allowed only intensified with each passing bathroom line at a party. I attempted to use the men’s room many times – because there is never a line there – but the weird looks and disgusting floors became just too much for me. So I stopped. And I waited in line like a lady while my fellow squatters took their sweet ass time.

It is infuriating, boring and a total buzz kill. But it looks like it may be a problem no longer. Ladies, we can finally pee like the boys do. Read More »