I spent way too much time in high school watching and rewatching Sex and the City. Unlike everything else on TV these women seemed so real, so fun, and so open to dropping major dough on brunch. Being young and impressionable, I assumed the fabulous foursome was living the life I’d live one day. Little did I know, freelance writers don’t own 50 pairs of Jimmy Choos and most women don’t have sexy men lining up outside their posh New York City pads.

Yeah, naive mind. totally. blown.

But now that the show is back on TV and I’m watching reruns daily, I realize that while Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda’s sex lives weren’t totally realistic, they can teach us a few important things about sex. So even though I  cringe at awkward love scenes on television and even though I made fun of the disaster that was the sequel, I’ve realized I can actually take a few tips from our four favorite girls on “Sex and the City.”

It’s not always good: Despite age and experience, everyone doesn’t get it right. Even the pros have off days. Charlotte’s perfect husband was impotent, Samantha loses her orgasm while Miranda had to fake them, and Carrie had issues with a guy who arrived too fast, too soon. Be prepared for disappointment if your imagined fireworks are more like sparks.

It’s not always romantic: You effing bitch, you effing whore! Definitely not your standard sweet nothings. Another sex myth I believed back in the day was that soft (or loud!) sweet words are whispered during intimate moments. But the SATC girls debunked that myth. Samantha found a man who was into baby talk, Miranda dated someone who talked too dirty, and Charlotte had a creep who called her some choice names while getting it on. After witnessing the failed foreplay, the soft sounds of Babyface on the iHome may be a better choice in the bedroom.

It’s not all pleasure: A little pain equals a lot of pleasure, right? Wrong. Sure, the middle school sex-education classes told us that sex does involve some pain, especially during your first time. Apparently it becomes less noticeable with more, umm…experience. After Samantha, the one with the most notches on her bedpost, found Mr. Too Big, the grand champ of getting it on felt the pain for days and days. And let’s not forget the thousands of needles that Charlotte poked herself with during fertility treatments. Hopefully the pain is worth it!

Wardrobe doesn’t matter: So much for that black, lace bustier you bought at Victoria’s Secret—when you were 13. Sexy lingerie may be fun to buy and wear, but it doesn’t make for great sex. Remember the furry slippers that Carrie purchased to woo Berger in bed? And the see-through negligee that Charlotte bought to get Trey’s sails up?  Lingerie alone clearly doesn’t get the job done. On some episodes, the girls wore plain t-shirts and boxers to bed—and those were their hottest nights ever.

Safe sex is the best sex: With all of the wild and crazy sexcapades the foursome had, they always made sure to use protection at all costs (most of the time). Even the Super-freak Samantha faced her fears and got tested for HIV. The fabulous four proved that no matter how hot your partner (Smith) or how many partners you have (Samantha), safe sex is the best sex.

What sexy lessons did SATC teach you?

Have you ever watched ‘Sex and the City’ and thought about how you and Carrie Bradshaw would totally have been BFF if only you had met in high school? Well, now you can meet the 17-year-old Carrie in Candace Bushnell’s new young adult novel, ‘The Carrie Diaries.’ But this Carrie is a little different from the one we fell in love with on TV and the big screen. Bushnell doesn’t bother sticking to some plot points from the television show — a point that is obvious only to the nit-pickiest ‘SATC’ fans. Like your friends here at PopEater.

In ‘The Carrie Diaries,’ Carrie is a virgin until her senior year of high school. But recall that the TV Carrie once told Charlotte that she lost her virginity in the eleventh grade in Seth Bateman’s smelly rec room on the ping pong table. (Editor’s note: Oh, the glamor of high school!)

Teenage Carrie is quite the gourmand, spending a whole day making coq au vin for friends. “I’ve recently discovered that cooking is a great way to distract yourself from your problems while providing a sense of accomplishment,” young Carrie explains.

What else is revealed in The Carrie Diaries? Find out right here.

There are a few rumors and secrets floating around….

8 tips to feel a little sexier in the bedroom.

Can someone please take Twitter away from Lilo?

Do promiscuous women cause earthquakes?

8 fun ways to incorporate linen this Spring.

Kelly Clarkson’s hawking cigarettes…sorta.

Miley vs. Samantha Jones? Oy.

Justin Timberlake and Kings of Leon mashup? Awesome.

Lamar Odom signs his life away to Khloe. Finally.

Halloween display…or dead man?

The 10 worst crafts on Etsy.com.

Victoria Beckham is totes over food.

A summary of Cosmo magazine.

Lindsay Lohan is not preggers. Right?

So, who will be at the MTV awards?

SATC sequel secrets revealed!

Sales: a girl’s best frenemy.

As a senior, I’ve finally realized one very important thing: College is awesome. And there’s quite a lot of sh*t you can get away with here that just isn’t gonna fly once you graduate. For example:

1. Mid day naps. Unless you decide to hightail your pretty bum down to Mexico or start your own company or something, midday siestas are generally not in the typical workin’ girl schedule. Oh, how I love the five hour breaks in between my classes.

2. Threesomes. Unless you want to end up like Charlotte in SATC, watching your dude getting’ frisky and feelin’ up some rando-girl while you stand awkwardly on the sidelines, I think threesomes are definitely better explored pre-graduation. I think almost everybody has at least one wild hookup story (that may or may not involve multiple partners) by the time they leave college. And that’s where those kind of explorations should probably stay. In college.

3. All nighters and Adderall binges. I’m pretty sure it’s not “adultlike” to stay up all night, downing cups of coffee and caffeine pills (or whatever your all-nighter drug of choice may be) to finish whatever crazy task your boss asks of you. Purple bruise-like bags under your eyes will never be sexy. Especially for an early morning meeting.

4. Pizza diets. Depending on where you live, life’s little luxuries, like one dollar slices on Monday nights, might not be at your disposal the way they are now. Nor should they be. You will be an adult and should be eating real food. Like steak or something.

5. The Uggs and North Face uniform. Or any variation, such as: Victoria’s Secret PINK collection from head-to-toe, matching college sweatshirts and sweatpants, etc. Real jobs require real clothes.

6. Tuesday bar hopping. I’ve already accepted that life is probably going to suck hardcore without one dollar cherry bombs on Tuesday night. I try to tell myself that I might be able to pull off being a member of the “Tuesday Crew” every once in awhile for the first few years after graduation. Or at least until I start to resemble my mother who gets a four day hangover after sipping half a glass of wine…spritzer.

7. Sleeping on random couches. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve done it. Quite a few times. …Without realizing it until the next morning. In the “real world,” I’m pretty sure people take stock of who is in their house when three a.m. rolls around. Maybe.

8. Meal plans. As much as college cafeteria food sucks, I think I’m really gonna miss late night mozzarella cheese stick feasts courtesy of Mom and Pops. In the “real world,” you can’t just go into some fancy sushi restaurant with your co-workers and hand the waiter your college ID and wave him off.

9. Making out with your best girl friends at bars and parties. In the “real world,” it’s no longer socially acceptable to grab your girlfriend’s face at the bar (..or you know, your company’s holiday party) and scream, “Let’s make out!” at the top of your lungs before proceeding to play tongue-tackle in front of a crowd. Unless you’re a total Debbie…as in, desperate. Or dumb. (Thanks, Paris!)

10. Peeing in public places. In college, it’s normally (but not always!) kosher to pop a squat in the backyard at a party when the b-room runs of out T.P. In the “real world,” you’ll get arrested and labeled a sex offender before you can even empty your bladder.

11. Posting party photos on Facebook. This basically goes without saying. Once you graduate (hell, maybe even before then nowadays), don’t even THINK about posting that pic of you on the toilet throwing the peace sign. And, just to make sure you have all your bases covered, you’ll probably want to invest in an external hard drive so you can save all your old faves from undergrad and delete all incriminating photos off the internets forever.

Anything else you can think of that just can’t happen in the real world but is totally fine in college?

It was a feeling that started with the Ocean’s 11 movie franchise, and then Judd Apatow came along and just knocked it into next week: sometimes I just wish I was part of the boy’s club. I want to drink martinis or beer and talk about chicks and make dirty jokes with my friends all day!

Okay, I’m kidding. Well, half kidding, anyway. It does sound like fun.  But more to the point, it got me thinking about gender roles in a broader sense (because why don’t I like girl’s club movies, a la SATC and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, in the same way?) and I reached the same conclusion: “damn, sometimes I wish I was a guy!”

Women’s roles have changed a lot in recent generations, and for that we can all be very, very grateful.  But there are certain things that get me all hot and bothered in the penis envy department. Let’s start with the simple ones:

1. Gotta pee? Pick a street corner!

2. Too hot out? Take your shirt off!

3. Not in the mood for foreplay? It’s optional!

4. Need a haircut? That’ll be $10, please!

5. Your friend is leaving early, so you’ll be walking home alone? No problem!

Okay, those are the easy ones. And now things get a little more complicated:

The Good

Sex! I. Love. Sex. Yet the player/slut conundrum still plagues us, and that, for me, is one of the most grating. And now that men are getting carte blanche left and right to cheat, with studies and authors validating the long held notion that men have a primal need to sow their oats and create as many offspring as humanly possible for the survival of the species, they’re practically expected to bang everything in sight! Women who do that are either a wee bit slutty or defined as “having sex like a man.” I guess that’s supposed to be a form of reclaiming the sexual standard, but as long as it’s still defined in terms of one gender or another, I don’t think we’ve gotten that far.

Also good: Sex without fear of pregnancy (because I’m sorry, you will never convince me that men worry about this as much as women) would be awesome! How many panicked “I think I might be pregnant” phonecalls/IMs etc have we all gotten from friends in our lifetimes? So, fellas, you had some not-my-best-decision unprotected sex?  No morning after pills for you!

The Bad

Women are programmed to care about others more and think about themselves less, and sometimes it sounds so good to just be totally selfish. Taking other people’s thoughts and feelings into consideration can be exhausting, but at the same time we would be wracked with guilt were we to ignore them! What’s a girl to do?

Also bad: This whole “gender pay gap” issue, still unresolved. The Lilly Ledbetter Act gives us hope, but really? It’s 2009. I understand that we may make less in our lifetimes if we choose to have children and work less, but if we are working the same amount in the same job, we damn well better be getting paid the same amount!

The Ugly

Men can carry a little extra weight, age a little faster, and no one seems to mind. I know these are only things we care about because we live in a society that tells us our physical appearance is a priority, and it is within my power to ignore that if I choose. But the fact that I have to choose is what I’m really addressing. I’m not saying it’s SOOO hard to be a woman because we have to be thin/pretty/ young/smart/successful: we don’t have to be anything. But you cannot go through life being unaware of what these expectations are, and deciding to heed them or not is a choice we all have to make. Men don’t seem to have to make that same decision.

Also ugly: Guys, are you 40 and single? Nobody notices!

Any guys out there want to weigh in? Are there downsides to being a guy that I’m not seeing? There are definitely things I dig about being a lady, but I’d love to get an outsider’s perspective.

Between the out-there fashion ensembles that stylist Patricia Field (you also know her work from the drool-worthy outfits we saw in SATC and the Devil Wear Prada) puts together, the adorable and relate-able Becky Bloomwood, and one of my girl crushes Isla Fisher (I mean her hubby is Sascha Baron Cohen, HELLO) I just can’t choose.

What I can confess however, is how much I love her black on black on black ensemble. She makes it look effortlessly classy, sexy and chic, whereas most all black ‘fits end up looking like they would fit in better on the set of Doubt (read: dowdy).

So here is this week’s Celebrity Chic on the Cheap: Confessions of a Budget-Aholic

The Dress:

The key with a black-on black look is to highlight some area of skin. It doesn’t matter which, just show off some of your natural assets. In this case, Isla chose to highlight her chest and collar bone, which is sexy yet totally chic. I adore the neckline on the halter dress. Plain and simple: it’s a hot number.

Leather Cuff:

Adding a fun piece of jewelry gives an extra little hint of fun and fabulosity. The leather cuff makes the look a little edgier and adds some serious sex appeal.  Another option would be an awesome black cocktail ring.

Tights:

Black opaque work best

Shoes:

Another important thing to remember is to switch up the textures if you’re rocking an all black style. Going for a patent or suede will help break up the monochromatic-ness of the look.

 And if you just have to have color:

Sometimes a little pop is all you need and these are cute and cheap.

Seriously. There are a lot of us who actually ENJOY meeting – and dating – this special breed of douche.

Okay. I might be EXTREMELY overgeneralizing here, but I have seen a wide range of chicks fall for guys who treat them like absolute sh*t. I’ve seen girls who stick with their sub-par lovers for years and can’t give you a straight answer as to why they put up with it.

I probably fall into this category as well; nice guys like me all the time, yet I constantly shy away from them in favor of their more dramatic/mysterious/douchebag-y counterparts.

This might be like flossing a dead horse – or watching a Tina Fey as Sarah Palin SNL skit (again, not that I’m complaining!), but seriously, why the hell do nice guys finish last? And whose fault is it, really?

A few of my theories :

1. Girl mistakes cockiness for confidence. Because we live in an individualistic society that stresses the importance of CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM and GOING FOR THE GOLD (no matter how you get there), it is totally possible to perceive straight-up cockiness as a public display of confidence. However, in the case of the A**hole, the guy isn’t just confident – he’s practically narcissistic. He basically feels NOTHING for any other human beside himself. So, by the time the Nice Girl realizes said dude will never care about anything other than his hair, his car and sticking his you-know-what into every willing hoo-ha in town, she’s already said the “L-word” and picked out future children’s names.

2. Girl thinks she can change the bad boy. Women are natural nurturers. We like to take care of stuff, like our best friends and our nails and our MAC makeup collection. We play therapist to most everyone in our lives. It makes us feel good to make other people feel good. So, when Nice Girl meets a guy who has some issues – like being unable to emotionally connect with other people, and/or maintain a solid relationship, or has cheated on past girlfriends – Nice Girl always thinks that SHE is obviously the one who can change the A**hole’s deviant ways. Realistically, she knows this isn’t true. But we all want to believe that we are that special girl.

Eventually though, Nice Girl learns that A**hole will never change, but she sticks around because she’s still in love with the concept of who A**hole COULD be, if he only stopped hanging out with that crowd/gave up drinking/got a new job…none of which will ever happen. Girl digs A**hole because she genuinely believes that underneath all the B.S. there is a knight in shining armor just BEGGING to be set free and show up on her doorstep with a bottle of red wine and a copy of “Baby Mama.” There’s not.

3. Girl lacks confidence. Of course, we can’t blame EVERYTHING on the A**hole. According to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “we accept the love we think we deserve.” I don’t think I could have said it better. Sometimes, we find ourselves attached to the A**hole because we don’t believe that we can find anyone else, or perhaps we don’t even know anything better exists. It does.

4. Chivalry kinda sorta scares Girl. Although Girl doesn’t want to admit it, being treated well sometimes feels kind of awkward. When we go out with a Nice Guy, we know he’s going to do all the “typical” gentleman-ly stuff, like open our car doors and hold our hand while walking down the street. Sometimes, this is just plain weird and makes us feel kinda funny. Nice Guy virtually loses all unique points when he acts like this because Nice Guys all. act. the. same. way. They wait too long to make a move, they call too often and they are just too damn nice.

5. Girl likes the chase. Seriously, who doesn’t? Sometimes Nice Guys are just too easy. We like it when guys don’t give in to us right away. It’s exciting and it gives us something to daydream about when we’re bored in English Lit. Lame? Yes. Understandable? Definitely.

6. Finally, sometimes A**holes just really know how to play the game. They can thoroughly convince us that they are indeed a Nice Guy when the complete opposite is true. When our friends start to point out several signs of their douchebaggery, we have a “talk” with A**hole and he convinces us that our friends are batsh*t crazy and watch too much Sex & the City and that we have nothing to worry about. The A**hole will do anything he can to prevent Nice Girl from seeing his true colors….and he’s damn good at it, too.

That’s all I got. What do you lovely CC readers think – why do girls like assholes?

[Photo from kit haselden's flickr]

But our 12-year-old sister might not understand that materialistic banter and wildly frequent sex is the making of entertainment. Our 12-year-old sister might think those are really things to aspire to. And we wouldn’t want that.

So why, may I ask, has HarperCollins asked Candace Bushnell to pen a new seires of Young Adult novels? Are The Carrie Diaries, reportedly about Carrie’s high school years, just an attempt to get a new, younger audience into SATC? Are tweens really ready for couture and an obsession with relationships that boarders on psychotic? I mean, maybe Bushnell will break the mold and write about something other than New York City, designer labels, and women chasing after men…but forgive us if we have our doubts on that one.

What do you think? If The Carrie Diaires come out, would you want the little girls you love to read it?