In 2008′s least shocking expose, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution dredged the sweat-stained pit of college academics and came up with, essentially, a national “dumb jock” joke.

Hating on athletes is pretty standard practice for the squishy intellectual set, probably because we’ve got a few bones to pick about getting stuffed in lockers and picked last for dodgeball. (As an aside, has anyone actually been stuffed into a locker in the past thirty years? The jocks these days just steal our iPods.)

But, whether we hear it from major newspapers or the bottom of locker no. 104, the news is the same: at the corner of college athletics and college admissions, something is gravely ill. Read More »

The building looked like any other corporate office building in America. As I pulled into the parking lot, my eyes scanned the area and I prayed I was at the right place. The innocuous sign on the door said “Prometric Learning Center, Suite 100,” as though it were any other suite in any building in corporate America. I parked my car, took a deep breath to prepare myself, and walked inside. A sign informed me that everything on the premises was video monitored and that by stepping inside I was giving my consent to appear on the footage.

Stepping inside, I couldn’t tell whether I was in a doctor’s waiting room or the locker area of a gym. To the right were chairs arranged in a tight circle, magazines scattered about the area; on the opposing wall there stood a row of rusted lockers.

A sign directed me to the front desk where a young man asked for my ID, and upon being certain that I was who I claimed to be, offered me a clipboard. I signed the honor code, promising that I would not use any forbidden study materials or divulge the contents of any question on the test. The specific rules for the GRE and testing in the center were stated on a piece of paper behind the one I’d signed, reminding me that nothing was allowed into the testing room with me, that study materials could not be used at any time after the test began, and that during my 10 minute break (if I wished to take said break) I could not leave the facility. Read More »

A common complaint about the Ivy League gang is that we lead very sheltered lives. People on the outside imagine our lives to be one long champagne-soaked yacht ride, a life where all of our wants and needs are taken care of and mummy and daddy’s charge card is always on hand.

In reality, though, more than half of Princeton’s student body is on financial aid, and a very large percentage of that is on nearly 100% financial aid. In addition to that, students spend a lot of time in the summer traveling to developing countries, doing community service in struggling neighborhoods, and generally getting their hands dirty. And yet, the myth persists…and for good reason.

There are a lot of different ways people can be “sheltered.” Ivy Leaguers may not all be rolling in wealth, but they still have an embarrassing lack of practical knowledge across the board. Because most of us spent our young lives with our noses stuck in books or playing some sport obsessively, we don’t really know how to, well, get along in the real world. Read More »

It’s official, Facebook is no longer just a harmless social networking site.

It’s now the most dangerous web site for your future. Not only do many employers admit to looking at facebook profiles for potential hires, but it may have had an influence on where you were accepted to college.

Are you one of those people who can’t figure out why they didn’t get into their dream school, even though you wrote a kick a** essay, aced the ACTs/SATs, did about 1,235 extracurricular activities, started a volunteer organization, and help the homeless in your spare time?

Well, maybe you should check the inappropriate quotes on your profile or all of those pictures tagged of you underage drinking in your friend’s basement while her parents were out of town.

Yes, sadly enough, it’s true. Admissions officers at a particular Ivy league college now admit to checking facebook for potential applicants. Ugh, this makes me sick.

Brown University officials said in a NY Times article that “there is a limit to what we can appropriately judge people on…But, you have to remember (Facebook) is a public place.”

Also in the article, it said that “Sometimes admission officers receive friend requests on Facebook from applicants, noting that accepting the requests ‘would appear weird.’ Read More »

SAT. What a horrible word. The lost hours that stupid test took from me will never be replaced, and the sheer embarrassment I felt looking at my math score will stay with me for the rest of my life.

The English part of that standardized bullshit was easier for me than the mind numbing numbers sections, but a little thing called vocabulary kept me from getting a top score. Learning words that people don’t use on a daily basis wasn’t ever something I cared to do, but had I only known a few more nerdy terms, I could have hit the language jackpot.

Classless Education, a “collective of comedy writers and educators” have decided I’m not the only one who could use some vocab help. The group recently put out a book called The Yo Momma Vocabulary Builder, an “irreverent, educational” paperback that attempts to teach the finer points of language with some of the oldest jokes in the book. Read More »