If you’ve ever seen a scary movie, you know that they’re low budget productions with sh*tty actors and sh*ttier special effects.  I mean, did anyone see House of Wax? No? Yeah, me neither….

Uh, back to my point. Choosing P. Hilton as your leading lady is NOT the way to an Oscar nom, people.  And don’t even get me started on the Saw films (what are we on, Saw XLIV now? Give it up already!). Scary flicks are supposed to be, uh, SCARY, not laughable, and they fail every. single. time. And the trailer for Shutter Island looks to be heading down the same path…only…wait, what?

A horror film directed by Martin Scorcese and starring….LEO!?

Leonardo DiCaprio plays Teddy Daniels, a U.S. Marshall sent to investigate the disappearance of a patient from Shutter Island’s Ashecliff Hospital (for the criminally insane, obvi). While on assignment, he begins to suspect that he is in danger at the hands of the sick and twisted hospital staff.

A desolate island, an insane asylum, creepy balding old people…it sounds like something I’ve seen (and fell asleep during) a million times, covered with some big names.  Why is Scorcese directing something like this. Why does it star DiCaprio, who is arguably the most talented actor our generation has seen? Why does the movie poster look eerily similar to the Haunted Mansion at Disney World?

So many questions. Read More »

[Let’s be real, in college, the pre-game is almost as important as the actual party. Besides a killer outfit, a case of booze & a few good pals, the most essential part of any pre-game party is the playlist. So, we made it easy for you: every Thursday here at CC we’ll be building you the ultimate pre-party playlist and bringing it to you through our favorite thing ever, MixWit. All you have to do is just click, play & enjoy.

So hook up your laptop speakers, bust out your 40’s & get ready to pre-game harder than those other kids party.]

The time has finally come, my friends! Finally, you get to don your fabulous, expensive and inevitably sl*tty costumes, go out and have a damn good time. In the spirit of the season, I obviously had to create a pregame playlist dedicated specifically to the crazy, ridiculous holiday. So, starting with the King of Pop MJ’s, Thriller, I’ve created a playlist with a variety of spooky, creepy and hilarious Halloween songs from over the last, you know, half a century or so to help you get your um, freak, on. Happy (almost) Halloween!

Get the party started right here.

[If you have suggestions for future playlist themes or have a track you really think should be included in a future installment, let us know in the comments!]

I know that a lot of people like horror movies. I know this because a lot of people tell me they like horror movies, and also because Saw V is just about to hit theaters (the 5th installment of a plot that basically consists of scary machines and blood). There’s something about watching other humans scream in agony that a lot of people can’t get enough of — but I am not one of those people. I’ve never been one of those people. Since I came out of the womb, I have been scared to freaking death of horror movies.

Here are the Top 5 Reasons Why.

5) When Things Pop Out In An Attempt To Scare, I Always Get Scared

I know that it’s like, part of the fun, or whatever, when the music suddenly swells and a creepy things pop up all creepy, or someone is grabbed ,or a face appears in a mirror, but that sh*t gives me a heart attack every time. I lose my breath and my heart flips out and then I get really violently angry. Like I want to punch the TV for doing that to me. I get scared and then I get pissed and then my whole day is ruined.

4) Weird Noises Always Happen Afterwards

Whether I’m back at my childhood home, in a dorm, or at my apartment, after watching (or accidentally watching) a horror movie, weird noises will keep me awake all night. It never ceases to amaze me that it happens every single time. The wood creaks, my closet door won’t shut all the way, something scurries across the floor…my bedroom isn’t haunted until I watch a scary movie. Then it’s haunted. Totally, Ghostbusterly, haunted. Read More »

 This couple puts all those crazy cat lady stories to shame.

Earlier this week, officials invaded the New Jersey mansion of Philip Tamis, 66, and wife Cynthia Stewart, 49, finding over 100 “malnourished and neglected dogs and cats”.

ASPCA workers were horrified to find the old, decrepit mansion full of feces and decaying animals. Many of the dead cats and dogs had been deceased for over a year.

Apparently, Tamis was a Merrill Lynch securities broker, a man who went to work every day and came back every night to a house more disgusting than any one of those Saw movies. His wife…evidently spent all day milling around shit-strewn floors.

As rescuers carried out the animals that were still living on Tuesday, Cynthia Stewart reportedly ran to the door shouting, “they’re my babies!”

After the New York Post ran this story, people everywhere simultaneously decided their neighbors really weren’t so bad after all.

Now, you’re going to read the next paragraph and think it’s a joke, but I swear to you it’s not.

Unless there’s a mischievous intern over at People.com.

The online portion of the magazine is reporting that Paris Hilton is giving acting another try—this time with Saw II, III, (and the upcoming) IV director Darren Lynn Bousman.

The Twisted Pictures director is beginning a new movie called Repo! The Genetic Opera, (here’s where things start to sound unreal) a “musical thriller” where a “villainous organ-transplant magnate” deals with a “mysterious plague that threatens the survival of the human race”.

So, in this equation, we have: the director of Saw, “musical thriller”, an evil organ transplant tycoon, a futuristic society dying from a plague, and Paris Hilton.

…’Tis the stuff nightmares and gigantic flops are made of, lovelies.