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What you may not know about guys

It’s no secret that some guys have a little bit of a tough time saying those three little words. Sometimes the way we show our affection doesn’t exactly compute as to how you think we should or how you want us to show it. And we’ve all dealt with messes that that kind of misreading of signals can lead to. Why can’t more guys just say it and mean it and it be done with? That’s another Dude’s List for another time. Today, I want to let you in on some of the ways he can say “I love you” without actually having to say, well, you know… Read More »

OMG I LEARNED SO MUCH IN COSMO THIS MONTH.

Actually, the things I’ve learned in Cosmo are mostly a small collection of scientific studies a group of middle schoolers could have conducted and learned from. For instance, Cosmo reports that (according to a rip-roaring scientific study) love may actually be able to ease pain. Get THIS: In a “study” people holding hot objects reported feeling better when they were shown pictures of someone they cared about. Oh, really?

“Here honey, hold this scolding coffee pot with your bare hands. Ouch, that hurts? Just look at me! You will feel better!”

Oh, Cosmo. And then according to “recent research” eating fewer carbs reduces belly fat. Did you just fall off your chair? Get back on and keep reading. Read More »

I am in the most amazing, secure and satisfying relationship I have ever been in but there is just one so-called “problem”; after nearly a year and a half, neither of us have said, “I love you.”

Now I know what this probably sounds like to some, or possibly even most, of you. (Believe me, I see it in the facial expressions of concerned friends and hear it in the tone of their strongly worded reactions.) There is obviously a clear issue here, right? Well, actually, I’m not so sure.

Now, to be honest, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that part of me (the part that sometimes, uncontrollably slips into this cliché, fairytale, chick flick inspired way of thinking that all love stories have basically 1 of 3 plots) at times wishes one of us would just find the courage to come out and say it already. I mean, it’s been long enough! And the pressure from friends and family who act like this is the biggest thing in the world to be concerned about, only adds fuel to this flame.

However, my usual, more sane, more rational and level-headed reaction to all of this is, “Who really cares?” Is actually saying that phrase really as significant or necessary as everyone our age makes it out to be? I mean, isn’t it true that actions should speak louder than words?

We are currently in a world where nearly every word in the “relationship dictionary” is rapidly being redefined. Take the word, meaning and supposed “sacredness” of marriage, for instance. It’s being entirely altered by things like the exceptionally high divorce rate (and the never ending publicity about celebrity divorces and adultery in the press). Or what about the many different names have we come up with in the last decade to define the new, modern, complicated relationships that keep arising: open relationship, no strings attached, friends with benefits, just hooking up… the list continues. Who even knows what the proper meaning and context of monogamy and love is these days. Read More »

I am in the most amazing, secure and satisfying relationship I have ever been in but there is just one so-called “problem”; after nearly a year and a half, neither of us have said, “I love you.”

Now I know what this probably sounds like to some, or possibly even most, of you. (Believe me, I see it in the facial expressions of concerned friends and hear it in the tone of their strongly worded reactions.) There is obviously a clear issue here, right? Well, actually, I’m not so sure.

Now, to be honest, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that part of me (the part that sometimes, uncontrollably slips into this cliché, fairytale, chick flick inspired way of thinking that all love stories have basically 1 of 3 plots) at times wishes one of us would just find the courage to come out and say it already. I mean, it’s been long enough! And the pressure from friends and family who act like this is the biggest thing in the world to be concerned about, only adds fuel to this flame.

However, my usual, more sane, more rational and level-headed reaction to all of this is, “Who really cares?” Is actually saying that phrase really as significant or necessary as everyone our age makes it out to be? I mean, isn’t it true that actions should speak louder than words?

We are currently in a world where nearly every word in the “relationship dictionary” is rapidly being redefined. Take the word, meaning and supposed “sacredness” of marriage, for instance. It’s being entirely altered by things like the exceptionally high divorce rate (and the never ending publicity about celebrity divorces and adultery in the press). Or what about the many different names have we come up with in the last decade to define the new, modern, complicated relationships that keep arising: open relationship, no strings attached, friends with benefits, just hooking up… the list continues. Who even knows what the proper meaning and context of monogamy and love is these days. Read More »

Dear Dude,

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. We are long distance (he’s about an hour away) and we have ridiculous amounts of fun when we are together and he means the world to me. The problem is this: the feared and revered “L” word (love) has yet to enter the mix. He’s said “I like you more than you know.” He’s said “You really don’t know how much I like you.” He’s even gone as far as to ask “What would you do if I told you that I loved you?” But there’s been no real declaration of love after 13+ months. What’s a girl to do?

Sincerely,
Itching for Action Read More »

Hey Dude,
I’m a junior in college and last year I started dating one of the most amazing guys ever. He and I have been together for over 6 months now. Last month I told him that I loved him, because I do. I am absolutely in love with him.  His response? “Thank you. That was very brave of you.”

It’s been a month now, and he still hasn’t told me that he loves me, yet he’ll say it with complete ease to his male housemates, as some sort of parting phrase.  How can he say it so easily to them, and not be able to say it to me? Will he ever say it? Or am I just wasting my time on a man who can’t bring himself to
love me?

All the best,
Waiting Read More »