“But what about a man’s scrotum?!” you ask. Well, now they have that too.

Ladies and (especially) gentlemen, I present to you: Man Junk.

I know what you are thinking (“Oh what a glorious day! Hallelujah! Finally, no more sweaty stench!”), and I am right there with you.

There have been products on the market to keep women so fresh and so clean (clean) for years, so it is only fair that a product was developed to do the same for men. I mean, men are constantly complaining about what goes on downtown on a woman, but they have no clue what we are dealing with in their nether regions.

Mainly: the scent.

According to the Man Junk website, normal male body soaps are not strong enough to mask the Eau de Scrotum of a man (Editor’s Note: Don’t I know it! Daaaamn.), so some super smart guys got together to create this organic body wash focused on this one main zone. Which makes things much more pleasant… for everyone.

This sounds like a dream come true…if our boys would actually go out and purchase it. Which I imagine they would do right after they offer to pick up our tampons. Read: never. Most guys would die before they would let on to anyone that their scrotum may possibly stink. Hell, most guys won’t even entertain that thought for themselves! So, that means that it is up to us, ladies, to make the Man Junk purchase….or withhold on the trips downtown until the boys do.

Whoever picks up this product, I think we all owe the people behind Man Junk a giant “OMGThankYouSoMuch!“

So, thank you, makers of Man Junk. We, the women of CollegeCandy, salute you.

And despite the fact that my collection is so massive that I actually hide half the stuff when my new boyfriend comes over (seriously, it makes me look disturbed)—I couldn’t help but check out the new Botanical collections from the healing garden.

I decided to cover all my bases: CALM: Tender Lavender whipped body lotion on my desk at work to soothe deadline stress, INSPIRE: Uplifting Jasmine rainwater body mist by my laptop at home to cure writer’s block, and DESIRE: Wild Ginger whipped body lotion and rainwater body mist at my boyfriend’s apartment. Alleviating work stress and writer’s block is nice and all, but I won’t lie—I was most looking forward to trying out the DESIRE lotion and body mist.

Verdict: delicious! The lavender lotion, with lavender, Valerian, and chamomile, reminded me of clean laundry (minus the detergent-overload smell I get whenever I do laundry myself), and gave me baby-soft hands without leaving a grease residue on my keyboard.

Next up was the jasmine body mist, a super-subtle mix of jasmine, Ylang Ylang, and passion flower. I’m pretty sure “body mist” comes with the connotation that it’s to be used on the body, but try spraying it around your room. You’ll never need another bottle of Febreze again.

Last up was the wild ginger lotion and body mist. I was going to try it out on a tough critic—my boyfriend, an indie hipster who never wears cologne because he doesn’t want to smell the way “they” think he should smell. Since we started dating, I’ve cut back on my perfume use, which, admittedly, was probably a bit on the overwhelming side (I just don’t know when to stop!)

So one night, before our regular ritual of lazing about on the couch, I slathered on some lotion and gave a few quick sprays of body mist post-shower. Cuddling up next to him, I held my breath waiting for a nose scrunch of disapproval—and, nothing! The orange blossom and white ginger made for a soft, feminine scent with a hint of spice, not a heavy cloud of fragrance.

I can’t wait to try the rest of the scents in the Botanical collections: Sensual Plum, Soothing White Tea, Revitalizing Green Tea, Passionate Rose, and Relaxing Chamomile. Try ‘em and tell me what you think!

Well, apparently, there are people who want that slight but noticeable smell around them at all times.

Vulva Original (I’m not joking) is one of the newest sexual oddities to hit the market.

Its developers insist Vulva “is not a perfume”. Instead, they describe their product as “a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure.”

Ew.

Developed in Germany, where a “research team” is working on complimenting the original scent with two new smells, “Exotic” and “Eighteen” (I mean, Jesus!).

Vulva Original doesn’t have much media surrounding it besides an explicit website with lots of vague references to sex.

Although, I guess if you’re selling something that supposedly smells like vajayjays, there really isn’t much to say besides “buy this if you like the smell of vagina”.

As for me, I’ll stick with my scented candles.

Though I love perfume and wear it every day, I’ve never been a “signature scent” kinda girl. I’ve never been able to find a fragrance that’s unmistakably me, probably because perfume to me is a part of my outfit just like anything else, and I choose it just like I choose between stiletto heels and comfy flats, or red lipstick and nude gloss when I’m getting ready.

But I’ve managed to narrow down my collection to my top four. Here they are:

For dancing ‘til dawn: Nanette Lepore Shanghai Butterfly

With notes of sandalwood, Jasmine, and Siberian musk, Shanghai Butterfly is a really romantic, exotic scent—a perfect accessory to that little black dress. This is probably one of my favorites because it packs such a punch and is so unique—I get comments from men and women almost every time I wear it.

For brunch: Clinique Happy

This was my favorite perfume back when I first started wearing perfume in junior high, and I still love it. Clinique Happy definitely stays true to its name, with layers of floral and sugary-sweet notes—perfect for a Bloody Mary over brunch with the girls.

For the office: Surreal by Avon

This scent is strong and upbeat without being overpowering, so as long as you don’t drown yourself in it, it’s perfect for work—and inexpensive enough to wear every day. Notes like amber and berries will keep you so energized, you might not need your morning espresso.

For guaranteed sex hair: Very Sexy by Victoria’s Secret

From gravity-defying cleavage to irresistible perfume, Victoria’s Secret really know what they’re doing. Spritz it on your neck, décolletage and the small of your back, and this sensuous scent made of up vanilla orchid, blackberry, and pimento will leave your man breathless.

Jacobs has decided to promote his new fragrance “Daisy” in a groundbreaking advertising stunt. A depiction of scratch and sniff daisies will be displayed on the window of Harvey Nichol’s (a British department store) in London.

Shoppers will be able to test the new fragrance without even stepping foot in the store. This is not to say that the advertisement will hurt Harvey Nichols’ sales. Surely dozens of people will be drawn to the store to experience the first ever scratch and sniff window.

Marc Jacobs describes “Daisy” as a combination of fruity scents such as grapefruit and strawberry infused with the scent of violets, gardenias, and jasmine with a dash of vanilla.

If the scent is really as Jacobs describes it, “Daisy” sounds like a fragrance to investigate. However, I can’t decide whether the scratch and sniff windows will represent the fragrance justly. Having never been to London, I do not know what the streets smell like.

However, I can assume that if a scratch and sniff window were in New York, the scent would have to be extremely strong in order to overpower the stench of garbage, exhaust, and street vendors on the nearby street. Surely, Jacobs wouldn’t want his scent to be mistaken for the smell of sugary peanuts being sold on the corner or McDonald’s pile of trash sprawled out all over the sidewalk.

If Jacobs’ window daisies can hold on to the scent of his fragrance, this ad campaign will be genius. Harvey Nichols will be flooded with curious customers and Jacobs will have creatively brought himself into the spotlight once again.

“Daisy” will be distributed to stores in the US at a slightly later date in the fall.

Sadly, shoppers will have to test the fragrance in the old, conventional way as plans for scratch and sniff window daisies have not yet been implemented in the US.