So there I was, mentally bitching about how complicated the Lost season finale is going to be tonight and how for the life of me I can’t follow Ikea directions, when I happened to stumble across this article. What’s the gist of this article? Well, basically, it’s all about how MONKEYS ARE CONTROLLING ROBOTS WITH THEIR MINDS.

I’m not joking. Seems like scientists have recently discovered how to get cute little monkeys to control a small robotic arm to help them grab food. A small grid “about the size of a large freckle” was surgically implanted in a few macaques, allowing them to use cognitive thinking to make a robot arm grab stuff they want. Scientists believe this is a huge step towards finding better ways to help human amputees.

Dr. John F. Kalaska, a neuroscientist at the University of Montreal, believes this new experiment, no matter how young, might someday help “patients with severe motor deficits to interact and communicate with the world not only by the moment-to-moment control of the motion of robotic devices, but also in a more natural and intuitive manner that reflects their overall goals, needs and preferences.”

I’m sure Kalaska and all the other scientists are right, but for some reason, I just can’t stop thinking about monkeys in sunglasses systematically destroying the earth with giant, mind-controlled machines of death.

…I guess I need to lay off the SciFi channel.