The world’s largest nerd orgy, otherwise known as Comic-Con, kicks off today in San Diego and we’re  celebrating the dork-a-palooza by focusing on entertainment’s sexiest geeks. From the guys who never the leave the house without polishing their suspenders to to the guys who refuse to hide their  acapella affiliations, we’re covering every kind of nerd and dork that’s out there.  Because at the end of the day, when you’re done sitting around your phone waiting for that Abercrombie and Fitch model to call, these are the kinds of guys you want to date. Read More »

Maybe that single dad show will happen, after all.

Screech’s tell-all is out!

Is that college degree really necessary?

Tyson Beckford has the hots for Obama.

Live large with these giant accessories.

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian get serious.

I kid, I kid!

Okay, I think we can all agree that Carrot Top, even when he first popped up in Hollywood, was no Justin Timberlake. He wasn’t even a Screech.

But he also wasn’t appearing in my nightmares, either, waking me up in a cold, cold sweat, like he is now.

I know we here at College Candy have mentioned the ginger-kid “comic” before (and that was one too many times) but seriously, DOUBLE-YOU-TEE-EFF?!

What the CRAP is this?!?!? There are so many things going wrong with this man, that I’m about to fall over and have a brain aneurysm:

1. The hair. We get it. Big, poofy, curly orange hair. It’s your thing, it’s your gimmick. It’s bad.

2. The eyebrows. The dyed black eyebrows. Orange eyebrows would have been better than this.

3. The mesh tank top. Mesh tank tops should never be worn, under any circumstances. Especially this circumstance.

4. The…muscles? Do these things even qualify as biceps? They are mutant-like and asymmetrical.

5. The “Carrot Top” patch on his jeans. Blegh.

The weirdest thing (and weirder than the obvious plastic surgery) is that there are celebrities everywhere that actually resemble Carrot Top, and I’m not the first one to notice: Read More »

Girls can be classified as bitches. Gay men can too. But can straight guys fall into the ‘bitchy’ category?

Yup.

The Bitchy Straight Guy is one of the most annoying categories of the male species. He comes in many different shapes and sizes; sometimes he’s a thin hipster with stupid hair (like Marcel Vigneron, a contestant on last season’s Top Chef), sometimes he’s a balding, pseudo creative type (like Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, from this season’s Celebrity Fit Club), and other times he’s a popped-collar, J-Crew sandal wearing frat dude (Chad Michael Murray comes to mind…at least in looks and based on that little marriage snafu with his costar).

The one link between these motley individuals? They’re bitches. Guys with all of the bark but none of the bite. Asswipes who get under everyone’s skin and then run if anyone tries to retaliate. Read More »

I must admit, I haven’t been paying all that much attention to the upcoming presidential vote. The main reason being, I stopped watching The Daily Show in college. And yes, at 10 a.m. Monday through Friday, I was lucky enough to be home watching Jon Stewart, and not in class. Hint: become an arts major, not a physics major.

But, thanks to RadarOnline, I now have a better idea of who our potential presidential front-runners are, and where they are in the race.

The key to my understanding? The perfect combination of Myspace and Saved By The Bell.

The presidential candidates have been using Myspace as a means to put their names and messages out there to the Wired Ones of America – the ones who are up on their technology, in with the trends, the bloggers, the “cool kids,” – you know…us. And what’s better proof of just how well they and their campaigners are doing? Their number of Myspace friends.

According to the site’s very helpful Saved By the Bell chart, it seems as though Barack Obama is the Zack Morris of ’08 candidates. I wonder if Barack can pull off sporting such “natural” blonde locks and a nifty cell phone quite like the Zack Meister? Whatever he’s doing, he’s doing it right – he has over 100,000 Myspace friends. Almost as many as I have. Read More »

It would have been awesome if he did!

Our friends at BestWeekEver show us that Gunnery Sergeant Harvey Walden IV is one pissed-off mofo. While it turned out to be one of the funniest on-air rants I have seen EVER, it was kinda funny that Dustin Diamond just sat back. Ironically, he didn’t even seems phased. “He’s not gunna fight me on national television,” pretty much summed up the incident. I mean, I know Screech owes a LOT of money to several banks as well as the IRS, but trying to get your ass kicked on TV so that you have a viable law suit seems a little excessive.

EVEN more entertaining, he challenges Walden (a career marine and former drill sergeant) to a UFC match. You know, those guys who put on paper thin gloves and beat the testosterone out of each other – yep!

I think it is a cry for help…Dustin we are here for you – but if you f**ng EVER challenge us like that we will kick you mutha f**ng a**, you hear us! We will put down this mocha late and wreck your sh** until your f**ng mother can recognize you…WORD!

Enjoy!

Whether you thought it was stupid or rushed home to watch it every day, Saved By The Bell is one of those shows no one can really hate. For some of us, it was televised preparation for things to come, for others, it was the pretty twin of the not-so-awesome high school experiences we were going through. The fashions, the catch phrases, the pinnacle “I’m so excited/I’m so scared” episode that even has its own remembrance T-shirt…Saved By the Bell will never really die.

But you know who I kinda wish would? Dustin Diamond. Yup. Mr. Screech himself. Mr. I – Blew – All – My – Money – And – Can’t – Pay – For – My – House. Mr. I – Made – A – Sex – Tape – Nobody – Watched. And now, Mr. Celebrity-Fit-Club-Moron.

I don’t usually watch Celebrity Fit Club, something about C List actors sweating and jiggling in front of a camera makes me sad, but today at the gym (how ironic!) I wasn’t in control of the television, and therefore found myself watching the show for 45 excruciating minutes.

This season’s Fit Club is nothing different than the previous two; personalities you forgot about trying to lose their love handles and badonkadonks in front of a national audience. It’s kind of like Survivor for fat, annoying people. But the most of annoying of the bunch is most definitely Dustin “Dick” Diamond.

What do you think about Screech?

Mr. Diamond is a perfect example of why C and D-list actors are where they are; they’re not good at what they do. Read More »