For those of us who log into Facebook every five minutes or so because of boredom (hey, it’s better than snacking) or a strange addiction to bumper stickers and flair, the news that all Facebook accounts will be getting vanity URLs is so yesterday.  Mostly I ignore those little gray-paneled announcements at the top of my newsfeed, so during my first 20 logins of the day, my outrage had not registered.

Now?  Outrage has registered.

I know, I know, every time Facebook makes a change, all of us whine like three-year-olds who don’t get dessert (or 22-year-olds…) and then we end up accepting it and even loving it (I. Love. Newsfeed.).  And this change doesn’t even seem like that big a deal. Honestly, how many of us really noticed that our Facebook URL is just a bunch of numbers?  And who really cares? If people want to find me, they can use the handy-dandy search box.

But I guess some people do, because this new change will make it a lot easier to stalk search for people. Only there are two small problems:

1. Names come on a first come, first served basis. That means that once your name of choice is taken, you’re screwed. Do you know how common my name is?? I’m going to have to be one of those geeks who wait around for 12:01 am late Friday night if I want to get a URL anywhere close to my own name instead of a random selection of letters and numbers (much like what I have now…).

2. Names cannot be changed. So, unlike my AOL screen name that changed with me as I grew up, this one is more permanent than that tramp stamp my friends have on their backs.

Ah, changes like these make me think about the good old days when Facebook was only for college students and the world wasn’t alerted when I went through a painful breakup.  Now it’s pretty much the bastard love child of MySpace and Twitter. Like a cheerleader, it’s popular and pretty, but it can be such a bitch sometimes (I can say this because I was a cheerleader, so nyah).

I remember when I got America Online for the first time. I was in second grade and acquired the coveted CD Rom disk from my best friend’s dad. We were the first two kids in school who had it. This was before AOL was called AOL, before it offered unlimited use, before cable modems, hell, it was before Buddy Lists existed!

Yes, I realize I’m totally dating myself here.

Anyways, AOL was the coolest thing ever back then and your screenname said a lot about you. Especially to all those random “friends” you made in the AOL chatrooms. You know you joined me in “I Love Nickelodeon 65″; don’t lie.

I changed my screenname more often than I changed my clothes (I was a little tom boyish back then…and changing my SN wasn’t a big deal when I had 2 friends online). First it was SpiceGrl321, then Whateva321, then DiamondBaby. Then I had TenTap for awhile. It was a combination of my favorite pastimes – tennis and tap – as well as an online best friend necklace with my two besties who had TenDan (tennis and dance), and TenAno (tennis and piano). We were so cool.

In highschool – when my BFFs became BFNs (best friends for never) – I switched it up to something a little more mature that I knew I could hold onto for awhile. Because, you know, BeanieBaby1000 would be a little embarassing for anyone over the age of 12. Read More »