(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E. [Guys We Wanna Eff]. How is it that we have NOT featured my favorite fraternal hottie, Owen Wilson? That’s almost a crime against humanity. Or at least, a crime against CollegeCandy readers who want to eff Big O.)

I’m gonna say it: I’m a big sap. Especially when it comes to puppies. There’s something about big, soulful puppy eyes that makes me squeal like a four-year-old. And all that cuddly fur. And those widdle, widdle paws…

But what’s cuter than puppies? Guys who love puppies. A dude who’s totally into playing around with man’s best friend is always effable in my book, cuz you know what? Chances are he’ll be equally as affectionate when he’s rubbing your belly and scratching your back. Prime example: Owen Wilson. His new film Marley and Me opens Christmas Day, and you can bet your (rawhide) bones my butt will be in attendance to see him (and his pup) shake their tails.

It’s not like I needed a cutesy dog movie to want to eff Owen Wilson, though. He has been very high on my radar ever since he appeared in The Royal Tenenbaums, which he co-wrote! (Since he’s a writer, and I’m a writer, clearly we are soulmates. Clearly.) As an actor, he’s been able to master all different varieties of comedy, from the subtlety he expressed in The Royal Tenenbaums to the full-on goofiness of Wedding Crashers. Emotional range is so effable.

Oh, and lets not forget that Owen’s sexiness definitely runs in the family. Score with him and you could count among your buddies his brothers Luke and Andrew, too. Mr. Wilson has been romantically linked to Kate Hudson and, most recently, Jennifer Aniston. I take it he likes blondes. Okay, O, if you ever want to jump ship and get to know eff a brunette, please call me!

Until then, I’ll settle for some effable photos and my vivid fantasies.

Lots of action movies suck. Sure, some of them are worth their $20 million plus budgets, but most are products of testosterone, half-baked skills, and a complete miscalculation of how stupid the movie-going audience is.

So yes, lots of action movies suck, but every once in a while, there comes along a film so sh*tastic that it makes movies like Swordfish seem like Citizen freaking Kane. The Day After Tomorrow is one of those sh*tastic sh*t fests. In fact, I think The Day After Tomorrow is probably the worst movie that has been made in the last 6 years (and yes, I’m lumping in SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2). Need proof? Here’s a list.

5th Reason This Movie Blows: Lame 2 Syllable Or Less Names

Let’s run through a short cast of characters, shall we? Jack Hall, Sam Hall, Lucy Hall, Jason, Frank, J.D, and Brian. I mean, where’s John Johnson? Bob Smith? Usually, I don’t give a flying eff about character names, but when you have people saying each other’s names every.other.second, the exhaustingly uncreativeness starts to eat away at you.

4th Reason This Movie Blows: Nobody Cares About Their Damn Family (Except the Angelic Hall Family Who Are So Angelic They Might Be Decedents Of Jesus)

So, if you’ve never seen this movie I’m about to ruin it for you…not like there’s much to ruin…but basically, thirty minutes into the film the earth flips out for no reason and sh*t gets majorly destroyed and the top half of the U.S is frozen over. There’s a few people taking refuge in the Manhattan Public library (including Sam Hall [Jake Gyllenhaal acting his ass off to make his character interesting], his love interest, some friends, and a few randoms), and when they realize that most of the nation is destroyed…they’re kind of upset and stuff, but that’s about it. Read More »