Even though the last Bachelor couple has already split (and dragged each other through the tabloid dirt – you know, just another day at ABC!), I can’t deny that I have been counting down the days to the season premiere of The Bachelorette. Finally, my Mondays are good again.

For those of you who were not glued to your TV sets last season, listening to Brad talk all about his therapy (which totally paid off since rumors are flying that he and Emily broke it off..just sayin’), Ash was third runner-up. After a tearful goodbye in Africa, girlfriend headed back to the states to pick up her life..and dye her hair.

And now Ashley H (or Cupcake ) has returned to our television sets. Although, hopefully this time around we won’t have to deal with a constant barrage of  ”Do you really love me?” “I don’t know if you love me,” and “tell me you love me.” Or impromptu dental exams. Or her overly enthusiastic family (that totally uses emoticons and !!!!!!! in text messages) that makes me need a Xanex.

According to Ms. Ash, she’s “in the ring” and ready to find love..again. She lost the last match but not the entire battle. Blah blah blah cliche blah blah.

Let’s talk about the boys. Read More »

Heidi: "What's that smell?" Spencer: "Must be those burritos."

It’s time!

After months of waiting (and trying to avoid anything and everything Speidi-related), The Hills back. Yeah, it’s without Lauren, but she was getting boring anyway. It’s one thing to love her as a person (which I do), but it’s quite another to love watching her on a show (which I slept through).

So bring on Kristin!
Bring back Jusin Bobby’s berets!
Give Stephanie Pratt a cookie!
Give Spencer Pratt a labotomy!

And bring on the drama.

In case you missed it/want to reduce your IQ 100-150 points, Speidi has been doing some sort of live stream leading up to the season premier. Personally, I would rather get a poop facial than support anything those turds do, but someone sent it to me and now I can’t look away.

I. must. look. away.

Anyways, sit tight. Only 20 more minutes until the BIG PREMIER! I’m gonna go cut up an apple for a healthy snack. Wait, who am I kidding? I’m running to the corner for some cookie dough ice cream. I’ll be back!

9:51 PM: Ok, so this ice cream is really good. Not so good: watching the Speidi wedding all over again. She’s wearing my dream dress, that whore.

9:59 PM: What the hell is this Valemont shiz?

10:00 PM: It’s so weird hearing this raspy voice as the new narrator.

10:02: Kristin slapped Lauren? God I hope she smacks someone this season. And I love how they will give her “the benefit of the doubt” and be her friend. Read: “we wanna keep making sick amounts of money by being on this show so we’ll hang out with her.” Read More »

Getting sick of the Olympics? Don’t care anymore now that you can’t see Phelps in a Speedo? Worried about how you are going to spend your Monday night?!

Worry no more, friends.

The Hills and all of its blonde drama is back!

And you don’t even have to watch alone!

CollegeCandy will be liveblogging the entire episode from the comfort of our very comfy couch with a bottle of Boones Farm and a box of Oreo’s. We will even be online (CollegeCandy 27 on AIM), so we can bitch about Heidi’s boobs and Lauren’s ‘tude together!

Sounds like the perfect evening to me.

So join us tonight. 10PM. MTV. And come back tomorrow morning for the usual recap.

And just in case you needed a little refresher, here is a look back at the happenings of the L.A. ladies the last time we watched. Ugh – I hope LC nixed that weird braid thing. Maybe then she’d find some true love.