[When CollegeCandy put out a request for a Secret Intern to write an Internship Diary, we got some truly cringe-inducing stories, but “Elisa’s” experience trumped all.

Currently, “Elisa” is interning for a big, flashy 5th Avenue designer. Sounds awesome, right? Well, read the third installment HERE, and then read on…]

I’M FINALLY FREE!!!

I wish I could say from the intern sh*t, but I was actually stuck in a tiny elevator with 6 people for 45 minutes.

Why? because we were all waiting for cake.

All for a freaking piece of cake on the day I was supposed to start my “diet.” I swear this place does not help me out one bit.

I wish I could say that this place is as exciting…what with today and the elevator fiasco, but I honestly don’t know how much more of this useless crap I can handle.

I’m now blatantly on Facebook all day for my boss to see, and spending more and more time in front of the computer. We have received endless amounts of sample bags that I am given the amazing task of taking pictures of. Oh yes, this is what my brain power is spent on. Taking pictures of bags.

Someone help me.

So a few days ago I decided I was going to ask my boss to cut back my hours once she hires this “assistant” she’s been talking about, but godd*mn if she doesn’t beat me to it… she gave her two weeks notice and is moving to LA! WTF… ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

So apparently the new guy — my new boss — is coming in next week, so she’s going to teach me everything to teach him….

Right…. and you couldn’t just pay me?? I do all the physical labor anyway!! So far I have used a Sealing machine, a hair dryer thing for shrink wrap, a mixer, popcorn machine, and a hammer / torture device-esque contraption just to name a few.

You know, I still don’t get why I don’t just quit. I have zero benefits whatsoever…

My boss even looked pissed when I asked if I could get off 2 hours early. Come on lady, I’m sure I can do more physical labor the next day. Or wait… how about you do some of your own sh*t for a change? I swear she thinks up the most useless tasks ever.

[Crap, somebody needs something...brb...]

Wow this day is full of f*ckin surprises. Apparently there’s a buzzer upstairs that the sales people press when they think there are shoplifters in the building… and now everyone has to run upstairs. FUN.

I swear this place never lets me leave on time.

I’m gonna go steal another cookie now.

[When CollegeCandy put out a request for a Secret Intern to write an Internship Diary, we got some truly cringe-inducing stories, but “Elisa’s” experience trumped all.

Currently, “Elisa” is interning for a big, flashy 5th Avenue designer. Sounds awesome, right? Well, read the first installment HERE, and then read on...]

Who knew that a “marketing” internship actually meant “free physical labor”??

I told myself that I would start working out this summer, but I never thought that lifting and cardio would start at my internship. Apparently The Designer felt that she needed to repaint her whole store, so a few days ago we had to move everything down to the basement, and then move it back up the next day. Great… and to top it off, she’s OCD with the displays.

Shoot me now.

I now have the responsibility of “checking” the displays every morning to make sure that everything’s symmetric and clean.

Whoopee… go me. And to add to the fun, it’s still inventory week! When will this madness ever end?! How many boxes can this woman have?!

Well… at least now I get to move on to the amazing task of producing these lovely bottles.

Wait… WHY AM I MAKING THE BOTTLES?!

When did marketing have anything to do with the actual production?

This whole week I’ve made countless tiny perfume bottles, many many plastic lotions, and various other beauty products I never thought I’d be making. Not only have I been making beauty products, but now she wants brand new menus for her products… and who gets to walk 4 flights up to print them, AND glue them together? Oh of course, the intern.

To top this week off, I get to do “research” on companies that produce weird rubber stoppers with a metal ball on top. Right. Why are companies only making rubber stoppers or these stupid balls?! I swear she chooses the most complicated components possible for her blindingly white store.

Can’t really complain for now. At least I’m by the computer and able to write this blog… along with facebook chatting, my new favorite thing.

At least there’s one perk so far…

GUESS WHO I JUST SAW?!

That’s right.  Paula Abdul.

[Stay tuned for next week’s installment of CC’s Secret Intern Diaries]

[Everyone's had that internship. The one that sounded awesome but ended up being awful. I had that internship. I thought I'd be reading scripts and doing coverage, but instead, I was leaning over a rickety filing cabinet for 5 hours every day, filing bullsh*t as big Important People stepped over me and constantly forgot my name. I also went on errands for necessary things like laundry, cappucinos, dog food, and cardboard boxes. It was truly a monumental waste of time.

Judging by stories from friends and colleagues, I know I'm not the only one who's done something stupid in the name of free, resume-building labor. When CollegeCandy put out a request for a Secret Intern to write an Internship Diary, we got some truly cringe-inducing stories, but "Elisa's" experience trumped all.

Currently, "Elisa" is interning for a big, flashy 5th Avenue designer. Sounds awesome, right? Well...read on.]

“What are you doing this summer?”

“I’m a marketing intern for a designer on 5th ave.”

“No way!! You’re so lucky.”

Yup. That was me. The “lucky” one. Little did I know I was in for a whole different ride.

I enjoyed my life as a finance/journalism student at Rutgers University in Newark, NJ, but I recently got accepted into NYU Stern. So, I thought I needed to actually do something that had the word “internship” in it. I knew I would eventually want to work in the city, so this just seemed like the right start, without being too boring.

In search of a last minute internship, I turned to seventeen.com, and lo and behold, there were still positions open! Everyone always said that internships in the city are a good opportunity, so I applied for a marketing internship with this big Designer. I had a phone interview, and in 2 days, my boss called me back to tell me I had received the position. Ecstatic, I was jumping around telling everyone about my amazing internship in the city. However, after I received the position, I realized it wasn’t paid. Well, there has to be some type of perks, right? WRONG.

I wanted the internship to make me into a flashy fashionista in the city, but my dreams were soon crushed.

The morning of my first day, I eagerly got off at Port Authority and made my trek to 5th Ave. I entered the pristine store of The Designer, and nervously walked down the steps to my workplace. Everyone was friendly and so well dressed; I felt instantly drabby.

But wait, it gets better. What was my first task? To count bottles. Lots and lots of bottles in lots and lots of boxes. To make things worse, The Designer had recently decided to repaint her store, and the fumes were driving everyone crazy.

It was inventory week, of course, so I spent my whole day, 10-6, counting stupid bottles and bottle parts. Oh, and I didn’t even get to see the designer…LAME.

Man, if this was what I have to do to live a fancy, well dressed corporate life in New York, I don’t know if I can make it.

[Stay tuned for next week's installment of CC's Secret Intern Diaries]