Fact: There is nothing more intimate than having sex with another person. After all, you’re completely naked and vulnerable, and everything is out in plain sight. So unless you’re that old, beer-bellied guy that is always alone and naked at the nude beach, that level of intimacy is going to make you a little nervous.

And then there’s the whole “performance” aspect (Are you doing it right? Does it feel right? Is that face sexy or creepy?), which gets enhanced ten-fold when oral sex is involved. Oral is pretty uncomfortable for everyone (mentally, hopefully not physically), but can get extremely nerve-wracking for most women. I get it; who wouldn’t be self conscious and wonder what her guy is thinking when he is up close and personal with her most private of areas? But all that thinking can really ruin a marvelous experience, and what’s the point of us putting in all that work if you’re not going to enjoy it?

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“What was it about Natasha that always made me feel like a charity case?”

Whoa. Carrie Bradshaw, the most svelte and stylish fictional character around, seemed like she had it all: a cool apartment in New York City, her own column in a newspaper and more Manolo Blahniks than a local Neiman Marcus store. She had everything! So why did Natasha, the infamous Mr. Big’s wife, make her feel like nothing?

In today’s society, it’s hard to be perfect when outlandish images of flawlessness are everywhere. Singers, actresses and even our favorite bloggers conveniently have everything that we don’t. So do our cousins, classmates and the girls in our innermost circles. Instead of embracing our flaws and appreciating the redeeming qualities we have, we compare and contrast ourselves with anyone who’s “better.” (Just ask Rachel Berry.)Sure, we’re smart and beautiful. We land great internships during the summer and bang out 10-page essays after a long night of partying. But seeing someone score a better grade or watching a classmate date the guy you had a crush on easily erases those accomplishments.

Why? Why is it so hard to believe that we’re as talented and fabulous as the next person? And why should we let someone else deter our own progress? There’s nothing wrong with competition because it heightens our self-motivation. But when the comparison eats you up on the inside, it becomes a problem.

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[We ladies spend a lot of time wondering what guys are thinking, most often over stiff drinks or soupy ice cream. Unfortunately, besides The Dude, we don't often get the chance to really find out. So we continue speculating, wondering and growing more and more self-conscious by the minute. Not anymore. CollegeCandy's got a new guy in town who is going to open up his man brain and enlighten us as to what exactly goes on in there. Prepare yourselves, girls; I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting ride.]

Fact: There is nothing more intimate than having sex with another person. After all, you’re completely naked and vulnerable, and everything is out in plain sight. So unless you’re that old, beer-bellied guy that is always alone and naked at the nude beach, that level of intimacy is going to make you a little nervous.

And then there’s the whole “performance” aspect (Are you doing it right? Does it feel right? Is that face sexy or creepy?), which gets enhanced ten-fold when oral sex is involved. Oral is pretty uncomfortable for everyone (mentally, hopefully not physically), but can get extremely nerve-wracking for most women. I get it; who wouldn’t be self conscious and wonder what her guy is thinking when he is up close and personal with her most private of areas? But all that thinking can really ruin a marvelous experience, and what’s the point of us putting in all that work if you’re not going to enjoy it?

So let’s take a moment to find out what your guy is thinking while he’s orally fixated on you so you can stop thinking and start having some fun. Read More »

I love the way I look. I’m confident and generally pleased with my body in a bikini. Well, at least I am now… after my breast enhancement. That’s right, I have implants and I’m not ashamed of it.

I’ll give you a moment to get all your thoughts and comments out of the way:

“I can’t believe you succumbed to breast implants just to fill some ignorant societal notion that ‘bigger is better.’”
“Getting implants is so slutty.”
“You’re an embarrassment to women and should be ashamed for fueling the fire for women to attain an impossible body image.”

Trust me. I’ve heard it all. But maybe it’s time for you to hear my side of the story. I’m not giving you the stink eye for going all natural (or spending all your money on Victoria’s Secret’s latest push-up), so hear me out. Read More »

For all intents and purposes, I am a pretty confident gal. I think my personality is the bomb.com, I am funny, I have a great haircut and – when I put on enough makeup – I can look pretty damn good.

But, just like any normal person, I have my insecurities. I am not as skinny as the other girls out at the bar, my boobs are a little…well…little, and no matter how good I look, I know there are Barbie look alikes all around me.

So, I must wonder why on earth I keep finding myself in the arms of some ridiculously good looking guys. Like, the guy you admire from afar but never talk to because you know he’s got a Heidi Klum lookin’ GF on the other side. The same exact guys who would never give me a second look, let alone an orgasm when I was in school.

I am not complaining – far from it – but I just don’t understand why suddenly these sexy, tall, sexy, way out of my league (did I mention sexy?) guys keep wanting me. What is different now from then? Read More »

I spend a lot of time telling myself to relax.

Relax, I tell myself. It’s okay that you didn’t have time to straighten your bangs this morning–no one is looking at you. It’s okay that you just said something really stupid to a tourist on the subway–no one is noticing you. No one else really knows you exist. RELAX.

Unfortunately, my seemingly-insane paranoia was validated yesterday.

My boyfriend and I went into a diner that I haven’t been to for about three years. And this is Manhattan, right, so there have been millions of patrons since the last time I’ve been there. And I was never a regular customer or anything like that.

So yesterday I’m in this diner and the waiter brings me my cup of tea and he says, didn’t you used to wear glasses? i remember you–you came in here a few years ago.

And I almost peed myself. Read More »

I’ve always been better friends with guys. I don’t know if it’s because I grew up with three brothers, or what, but I always seem to get along with them better.

Girls to me are just vicious. Sometimes it’s hard for me to deal with the constant talking behind each other’s backs, the judgment passed on everything from hairstyles to clothing—I need to retreat back to my boys and take a deep breath.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t have those same mean girl tendencies, or that I don’t have close girl friends. I will definitely make fun of someone’s outfit that I find…outrageous. But I think the biggest clue that a girl is a bitch is when she doesn’t have any girl friends—she’s obviously screwed over a lot of people, or has screwed a lot of people’s boyfriends. Read More »