[Meet Margaret, a freshman at Yale. We've been checking in with her every week to see what she's doing, who she's meeting, and what new college surprises she's tackling (or freaking out about) as she embarks on the journey we call college. Or as I like to call it, the best thing since Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt.]

In high school, I had a clear label. I was Ms. Student Government, Ms. Good Grades, Ms. Overachiever. And even though all of our years of primary schooling have told us that labels are totally, totally terrible and that we should define people by their true selves and inner lights, etcetera, Oprah wisdom, etcetera, Oprah wisdom, I’m just going to say this: I heart labels.

Because for some reason, rather than being stifled and held down by my defined structural cocoon of a label, I ultimately felt freer to be anyone I wanted to be. Completely ridiculous, right? Yeah.

By being known as the Smart Girl, I no longer had to prove that part of myself. It was like, I could be flexible. I could get a B on a paper, I could forget to do my homework, I could bomb an English test, but I would still be known as the Smart Girl. I mean, I guess it’s kinda like how Paris Hilton could potentially save puppies and ace an LSAT, but she always has that Party Girl image. Except, the opposite, you know?

It’s like, when you have a defined label, all you need to do is be like, “But wait, that label is not all that defines me.” And wham, you can do whatever you want and you surprise people because obviously Real You is so much more interesting than Labeled You. Read More »

I figured this is a great time for a relationship self-help post. Summer is coming to a close and with that comes the end of summer flings. Maybe it was the extreme heat or all the margaritas, but, you REALLY believed that it would last with that fantastic guy. And now, one of you is going back to school and even if you promise to stay close, long-distance can be tough.

So, I’ve found a book for all you victims of the summer fling.

Often, relationship self-help books focus on clever ways to meet men. You know, the art of the wingman, etc, etc. However, for most of us, the problem is not meeting men – it’s meeting NICE men. And maintaining a relationship with these nice men. And that’s where JM Kearns steps in.

His first book “Why Mr. Right Can’t Find You” was of the typical relationship self-help type and focused on meeting men. But, with his next book, he steps up his game and goes to a place few relationship self-help experts are willing to go. First by healing your broken heart… then, after you’re feeling good, telling you what you’re doing WRONG.

The book is written in two parts. Part one is titled “Repairing the Effects of the Breakup.” No matter how long a relationship is (even one week – ya, I’ve sadly been there), the breakup hurts like hell. Even if you cant admit it, you’re ego is damaged and recovery is necessary! Kearns maintains that before you can start a new relationship, you’ve got to nurse your heart and build up confidence. And when you’re ready for step two, you can move on and learn from your relationships. Read More »

Lately, it seems like the whole freakin’ world has been on a self-help kick. In recent years, the $11 billion dollar industry has flourished. It’s provided us with “miracle” books like The Secret and an array of self-proclaimed internet self-help gurus (or trust fund babies with pink hair and Daddy’s cash?) like Gala Darling.

Everybody’s trying out this “positive psychology” thing. Basically, positive psychology is the attempt to change self-defeating, negative thoughts, like, “I hate myself because my thighs touch and hers don’t” into more positive ones like, “My thighs might touch, but my calves sure do look hot in heels…and I bet she’s anorexic anyway.” Or whatever.

Well, somebody thinks we’re doin ‘ it all wrong.

According to Canadian researchers, “just thinking positive” can actually have the opposite effect. It can make people realize just how miserable they truly are.

The study started by highlighting old research that if people get feedback they believe is overly positive, they just feel like more sh*t than they did originally. Like when my boyf grabs at my tummy fat and a minute later tries to tell me that I have “such a nice stomach.” You better believe that as soon as that boy is out the door, I’m gorging my face with Peanut Butter Passion ice cream in shame.

The article in TIME, which reported this research, states that, “If you tell your dim friend he has the potential of an Einstein, you’re just underlying his faults.” And no matter how dumb that person is, he knows it, you jerk. Read More »

Happy almost-Easter! Have you stocked up on your Peeps and Cadbury Eggs? Not you, Passover people – unfortunately you don’t get to partake in the tasty treats. You also don’t have to deal with the Easter Creep-sters, though, so that’s a plus.

Anyways, it’s Friday and we’re ready for a night in with some hot chocolate and a good (self-help) book. We would go out and par-tay, but we had a long week (as usual), full of life lessons:

College on crutches? It sucks.
Sex is good, but being wanted is better.
Gavin DeGraw is as funny as he is talented.
All those bad habits are just not worth it.
Vitamin Water is now almost calorie-free!
There are a lot of things guys just don’t know about us.
Pretty people have it really easy.
Lindsay Lohan deserves a break from the paps.
There are a lot of things we won’t miss when we graduate.
There are lots of pros to having a boyfriend…
And lots of pros to not having one…

Whew. We’re pooped. Nothing a big bowl of (free!) granola can’t fix!