We’ve probably all crossed paths with a drama queen, or been friends with one, or even been one! You know who we’re talking about, right? She’s that gal who is a bit self-absorbed, highly sensitive, and extremely emotional. Everyday experiences become larger than life to her; and she expects her friends to drop what they’re doing and be as captivated with her drama as she is with it. Notoriously self centered, she believes that her crisis is your crisis, and her problems should be your top priority! In other words, her needs overshadow yours, hands down!

In our book, Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and get everything you want!), we call this type of woman a “Disruptive Alpha” – one of the four characteristics that defines an Alpha Bitch. The Disruptive Alpha, or drama queen, is a master at creating tension and discord everywhere she goes. She knows how to stir the pot by bringing up provocative subjects and dropping inflammatory comments at just the right time. And she just loves to spread juicy gossip that is sure to ignite her girlfriends’ emotions and send them reeling. Read More »

If you Google “life after college” or anything related to being a post-grad, tons of self-help websites and survival guides appear. And even though I write a column about being a post-grad, I can’t help but find this to be incredibly annoying. Apparently, being a post-grad is the new black. Since when has being a post-grad become the new self-help market?

I’ll be the first to say that yes, of course life outside of college “ain’t no crystal stair” (thanks Langston Hughes!), but I don’t think some blueprint manual needs to be force-fed down our once matriculated throats. Even though a lot of these sites claim to be “resources” instead of manuals … I don’t see the resources available. Unless these websites can get us jobs, give us new friends, find us apartments that aren’t infested with termites, and set us on the right path to repay student loans, then those resources … well, they mean nothing.

I guess what bothers me so much about all of these ”how to survive as a post-grad” websites is that it makes us post grads look so collectively lost and confused. And not only does it make us look like we don’t know what we’re doing, but it makes us appear like we aren’t making the right decisions. But what I really think is going on is that due to the lovely economy (please note the sarcasm), post-grads are in the media a lot more than before…so of course, self-help gurus want to turn their attention to each year’s most recent batch of needy meat. Read More »

"What the eff am I supposed to do with a pap smear?!"

Oh, how I love Christmas morning.

There’s nothing quite like waking up to the smell of slow-roasting, honey-baked ham and my dad’s own personal off-key rendition of “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire.” But, let’s be honest, as much as I love food/my family/blah blah blah, I (like most of you reading this) like getting presents the most. But, if there’s one thing I’ve come to learn in my 23 yrs. as an expert-present-opener, it’s that some presents (or maybe, some people?) just SUCK, plain and simple.

Believe me, as a poor college girl, there’s almost nothing I won’t take (or take and then pawn), but there are some presents that even I wouldn’t appreciate hiding out under my (fake) Christmas tree. Read More »

Everyone in this world needs a little help when it comes to understanding and interacting with the opposite sex (especially if you want your encounter to have a “happy ending”).  Thankfully, there’s a whole slew of self-help books out there for that very subject.  Unfortunately, it’s a double-edged sword.  For as many extremely witty and helpful books that exist, there are also those that seem to exist purely to make my life more difficult (as in all those geektards from my English 101 course freshman year who suddenly think they have game and try to get all up on me during happy hour).

Browse any website or bookstore and you’ll find things that defy explanation.  Really, who publishes these things?  Who thought it would be a good idea to publish guides on how to get laid more quickly?  There are enough frat boy a-holes in the world already, why create more?  Why aren’t there books on how to be more sensitive? Or, how to shut up and do what she says? (Just kidding, but you see where I’m going.)

Here is just a taste of some of the dribble out there. Beware of the boys wielding these books – things are bound to get ugly.

Copy, Paste & Bang! – This is a book, ostensibly, about making online dating work for men.  As in, making an online dating profile and getting laid within a 24-hour period.  After perusing the text and the reviews, I have come to the conclusion that this is a manual for internet predators.  The product description says it all:  “Copy, Paste & Bang! was written for one simple reason: to help regular guys meet women utilizing the Internet and to get you laid.“  Uhh…does anyone have Chris Hansen’s number?

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists - I hate you, Mystery.  And you, Neil Strauss.  Why would you take a perfectly adorable, shy, and socially inept computer geek and turn him into a douchebag player??  What a waste of resources!!  This book promises to teach men the secrets of picking up women in as short a period of time as humanly possible.  Awesome.  This way, men don’t actually have to get to know the women they’re about to sleep with.  Saves time, no? Read More »

Three nights ago, as I’m spooning in bed with my ex-boyfriend/current fling (the lines are a little blurred), he, out of the blue, drops a line that no ex-girlfriend ever wants to hear spoken about herself: he called me crazy.

I was speechless. Everything had being going rather well all night: I looked super-hot, we were flirting like mad and we had just engaged in a no-fuss, delicious two-hour romp on his blow-up mattress, resulting in the big “O” for both parties.

And then he had to go and ruin our post-coital snuggle session with the dreaded “C” word.

Now, let me set the record straight. This is definitely not the first time a male in my life has called me crazy. Everyone from my dad and brother to my high school gym teacher has felt the need to express their opinion about my level of sanity.

I can’t deny that maybe, they were right to drop the C-bomb. Let’s just say that high school was rough for me. I was involved in a serious relationship, which led me to act like a serious fool. I yelled really loud, pushed really hard and generally caused extreme amounts of unnecessary stress for everyone involved in my life. But hey, I was sixteen, riding high off the fumes of sweet adolescent hormones, and I didn’t think – I just DID.

Of course, douchebag ex-boyfriend heard all the juicy details of my teenage drama during our first year of dating. I mean, if I had to endure all the pain and horror – it was only fair that I pass it onto him, right? (Note: I realize now this was a huge mistake and that some skeletons really are better kept in the closet – forever.) So, after I got upset about a girl attempting to kiss him in front of me after a little too much jungle juice, he decided it was time to break out the one insult he knew would cut straight to the heart. Read More »