Lately, it seems like the whole freakin’ world has been on a self-help kick. In recent years, the $11 billion dollar industry has flourished. It’s provided us with “miracle” books like The Secret and an array of self-proclaimed internet self-help gurus (or trust fund babies with pink hair and Daddy’s cash?) like Gala Darling.

Everybody’s trying out this “positive psychology” thing. Basically, positive psychology is the attempt to change self-defeating, negative thoughts, like, “I hate myself because my thighs touch and hers don’t” into more positive ones like, “My thighs might touch, but my calves sure do look hot in heels…and I bet she’s anorexic anyway.” Or whatever.

Well, somebody thinks we’re doin ‘ it all wrong.

According to Canadian researchers, “just thinking positive” can actually have the opposite effect. It can make people realize just how miserable they truly are.

The study started by highlighting old research that if people get feedback they believe is overly positive, they just feel like more sh*t than they did originally. Like when my boyf grabs at my tummy fat and a minute later tries to tell me that I have “such a nice stomach.” You better believe that as soon as that boy is out the door, I’m gorging my face with Peanut Butter Passion ice cream in shame.

The article in TIME, which reported this research, states that, “If you tell your dim friend he has the potential of an Einstein, you’re just underlying his faults.” And no matter how dumb that person is, he knows it, you jerk. Read More »

A few  years ago, if someone mentioned a self-help book around me I would have cringed… and laughed in their face. I didn’t understand how people could pay money for books that any idiot with a computer could write and try to pawn off as good, sound advice. However, in light of some recent events, my attitude about self-help books and the like has done a complete 180.

Not to say I’m a total self-help junkie now, but I am pretty shameless about the fact that I read – and believe in – the healing power of self-help books. (Okay, that sounded unnecessarily cheesy, but you catch my drift.)

So, even if you’ve never snuck a peak at the Self Help section in Barnes & Nobles (or are just too embarrassed to admit it),  here’s some of my faves & some others whose street cred is pretty great, as far as self-help books goes:

1. You Can Heal Your Life – Louise L. Hay. I just recently started reading this one myself and I’m in love. It’s intense and has caused quite a few life-changing epiphanies, and Hay will seriously stop at nothing to help you create your perfect life.

2. The Secret – Rhonda Byrne. The now uber-famous Law of Attraction is explained in this simple, visually appealing, tiny book. And when you don’t exactly have time to sit down & waft through an intense self-help workshop like you’d get from something like You Can Heal Your Life, The Secret will totally suffice. You can easily soak up a chapter between classes or use it as a study distraction. It’s more exciting than King Lear, I promise. Read More »

I’ll admit it: I’ve got a thing for relationship self-help books. When I’m working the floor at my local bookstore, I can’t help but skim through the latest additions to the section (though I pray no one sees me…) Maybe it’s the colorful covers or the catchy titles; I mean who can pass up a book with the word “bitch” right on the front? Since I’m somewhat of a connoisseur in the area, I decided to write about my favorite for all you gals out there!

“Why Men Love Bitches” is as sassy as the title suggests, and that is precisely what I love about it! Sherry is hard-hitting, honest and, most importantly, RIGHT.

Now the word “bitch” comes with all sorts of negative connotations: rude, stuck-up, conceited and all sorts of other nasty adjectives. But that’s not the kind of bitch Sherry is writing about. In “Why Men Love Bitches,” the bitch is confident, not cocky, knows her worth and is not willing to settle for any schmuck.

Sherry empowers women and made me realize that I should not being chasing desperately after any man. That strips me of my dignity and I am better than that; in fact, every women is! If a man is making you run after him, you should turn your heels and bolt in the other direction. This is a clear signal that you will never feel good enough for him. There is a fine line between effort and desperation and Sherry definitely helped me clarify that and all my expectations when pursuing a man. Read More »

For those of us (everyone) who hates the new Facebook…

[Just don't tell 'em we told you...we hear they send snipers out after all dissenters]

I’m a student. I get bored in class. Really bored. So, I take advantage of the free wireless and spend most of my time in lectures playing online. And in doing so I have come across a lot of crappy blogs.

One might make a case that my own writing frequently belongs on that list. But that is because “one” has probably never seen this one.

As if to highlight how utterly retarded it is, the name of the blog (or the blog user? or both?) is Text in the City. WOW. Lame times ten.

The actual blog, however, is far lamer yet. Judging from the title and the subject matter, one is to assume this blog considers itself a takeoff of that popular and influential show, Sex and the City… except they did it with an “in” instead of an “an” (amateurs). While I myself am not a fan of said show, I do recognize the attempt to say things in a way that have never been said before on TV. Text in the City, on the other hand, is a bland regurgitation of womens’ self-help guides from the 50’s updated with the idioms of the new millennium (at least, sort of updated).

At Text in the City, you will learn the “10 Secret Things Every Man Wants.” Wow, really? Great! I have an idea, Text in the City; why don’t you write the blandest, most annoying possible things (for instance, booking a spa day for yourself so you can leave him alone at #1 on the list) in the most mediocre way possible (“We love excitement, and we are not just talking about in the bedroom.”)? That would be cool. Wow, Text in the City, you’re the most awesome thing ever! Read More »

Every year, some of us are guilty of giving sh*tty presents. Maybe we forget a relative until the last second, maybe we really don’t like someone but feel obligated to buy something, or maybe we’re just selfish bastards who don’t like to spend money, but whatever the case, every year during this time, truly crappy gifts are wrapped and set under the tree or beside the menorah.

And then there are those of us who receive those crap gifts. Opening a package and instantly realizing A) this person doesn’t know us at all or B) this is the stupidest thing someone has ever wasted tape on is always a hard emotion to conceal, but because our mothers taught us to be polite, we do our best. We smile through the pain and secretly hope the receipt is still in the box.

Not quite sure if what you’re about to seal with a bow is a crap gift? Let CollegeCandy give you a few hints.

• Scented Candles: You’re not in junior high anymore, so this gift is no longer acceptable. Confused 12-year-old boys give the girls they think might be their girlfriends scented candles because they’re cheap and noncommittal. If you’re an adult, presenting someone with scented candles is the perfect way to start letting them know you don’t care.

• Clothes That Are Way Too Big: Look, when in doubt, buy a size smaller. No one likes opening a gift box and pulling out a sweater that looks like it could house a moose. Holding up a giant article of clothing not only makes us immediately feel fat, but decide everyone else thinks we’re fat too. Total. Depression. Read More »