How many times a day do I see commercials, billboards, magazine ads, internet sidebar ads that tell me that there are ways I could improve my own appearance? I’ll admit it: this isn’t something I ever thought to count before.

I knew a lot of ads aimed at women suggested that we aren’t good enough — but could be with whatever product that they have to offer! — but I never really realized how many times a day I see those kind of ads. I mean, I never noticed the ads on blogs or Facebook beyond the times where I would post a status on Facebook proclaiming my love for pizza and within seconds, all the Facebook ads would morph into weight loss and dating websites. (Thanks, Facebook!)

I spent one day writing down every single ad, from billboards to the internet,  that are aimed at making women and girls feels like they need to change. What did I find? Everyday, we are bombarded with ads instructing us — in a million and one ways — not only that we aren’t good enough, but their product alone can make us better. Can we talk about how that’s complete bull for a second? Just so you know — it is complete crap.

If nothing else, spending a day (I chose September 7 — a day with no big media events) paying attention to ads really opened my eyes to what I’m being told. Over the years, I’ve gotten very good at overlooking ads. But when I sit down and really look at a lot of them, it’s easy to see how absurd they are. Let’s look at some highlights.

Deodorant commercials. Ad and commercial count: 6. Your armpits are inadequate. Dove (or Secret or…) deodorant will turn you into a magnificent armpit goddess. You don’t smell good enough. You need to be “fresh…” If you already are “fresh,” you need to be “fresher” with Dove Body Mist. Read More »

[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. Last month Tiffany spent a month at Outward Bound and challenged her physical limits. This month, Ashley's going to try to stop hating on her body so much. Can she do it!? Could you?]

After week one of this challenge there’s only one thing I know for sure, this is definitely a learning process. I spent the entire first week getting to know just how bad my bad habit is. Not only did I learn about how much this bad habit consumes me (yes, it consumes me, YIKES!), I got to see all the different ways in which it manifests. I realized that in order to change my mindset I’d have to first do a few important things:

1. Take a long hard look in the mirror and pick out all of the things I like about my body- Being the hater I am, I imagined not having much to say, but I did it and I had a fair amount to share with myself. Actually doing it felt silly and embarrassing (I had that ”What I like about you” song playing over and over in my head) even though there was no one around, but it felt good in the end. I am happy to say, “I like what I’m working with.”

2. Get my boo on my side- Although my boyfriend is already my biggest fan who loves and supports me no matter what, I needed to fill him in on the situation. After giving him the 411 on my bad habit and letting him in on my challenge, he said he’d help call me out on my negative behavior. I know this may sound risky to have someone else help correct me when I’m drinking haterade, but I think it can only help. I trust him to be honest and helpful and to not give me a break- sometimes tough love is what we need.

3. Pamper my body and make it feel good- Yes, I did this. I gave myself a nice, long, and hot bath and it felt GREAT! Every body needs a little lovin’.

Completing those three tasks had me more motivated than ever before (okay, more motivated than last week). Now that week two has come and gone, I can truly say I have taken significant steps in the right direction. This week I… Read More »

[Life after college is hard. Like really hard. But it's not so hard that you should curl up in a ball and watch E! marathons all day long. Not only are we covering the experience from a first-hand perspective, but we're now covering it from a how-to-survive-it perspective. Every week, we're going to bringing the best advice to getting through your first post-grad year. Because sometimes, your grandmother's "just go to law school" advice just doesn't cut it.]

A picture says a thousand words. So what do 1,384 tagged photos on Facebook say? And the 102 you’ve posted to Twitter? And the 46 GPOYs you’ve got on your Tumblr? That’s a hell of a lot of talking before you’ve even opened your mouth to potential employers.

Whether you’re willing to believe it or not, your social networking sites are subject to review by anyone who has your resume. Now, before you cry and scream and tell me how long it took you to curate so many tasteful photographs of your cleavage, just listen. I’m not suggesting you quit Facebook. I’m not suggesting you quit blogging. I’m not suggesting you quit anything.

I’m trying to tell you how to take your (Internet) fame-whoring ways and put them to good use.

Think of the job you want. Is it corporate or creative? Will you be working on an older team or a younger team? How casual or formal is the office? What’s the tone of the company you’re aiming to join? Address these questions, then mirror your Internet presence based on your answers.

If you’re eyeing a spot at that new, hip fashion magazine, make sure your pictures, tastes and statuses reflect their youthful and trendy vibe. Should you be gunning to work at one of your town’s top law firms, lay off the nip slip photos and opt for a more polished look. Post evidence of yourself volunteering, bettering your mind and enjoying some wholesome fun with family and friends.

When in doubt over whether something is appropriate or not, ask yourself if grandma would approve. And I’m not talking about your cool, pot-smoking gran who lives in a nudist colony in New Mexico. Think more along the lines of Grandma Doris who loves Precious Moments collectibles and pudding cups.

Boobs – we all have them. Some are gigantic, some are barely there. Some are 100% real and others are fake. While some of us can fill out bras, some of us need a little push up enhancement. In a big breast lovin’ society, it can be hard out there for a girl with a smaller chest. But I’m not going to lie – I love my small boobs!

Although we all seem so programmed to want double D’s that spill out of some overly priced bra that will only add to their bodacious size, I am perfectly okay with my boobs and the size that they are today. Really, I don’t see what the big deal is when it comes to being an A or B cup. In fact, I only see the pros instead of cons.

Thanks to my smaller cup size, I never have to worry about shopping. My well-endowed friends always complain about never finding bras in their size, never having the styles they want made for their boob type, or they feel like lingerie and undergarment shopping isn’t aimed for those with a larger bust. Based on my personal experience, I always find the size I need, the style I want, and leaving with what I want or need happens more often than not. Same with shopping for tops and dress — while my D cup friends have a difficult time finding dresses that fit them well in the bust, I feel like my small boobs don’t determine what I can and cannot wear. Yes, of course, sometimes I don’t fill out a dress completely, but I sure rather slap on a padded push up to do the job instead of wearing something else.

Read More »

Pretty sure these two are tens on anyone's scale.

On a scale from one – ten, how hot are you? Are you a solid eight, a mousy three, or perhaps a bombshell ten? A new LiveScience study reveals that the more you adhere to your stereotypical gender role, you more accurately you know your hotness level.

To conduct this study, Mitja Back and her fellow researchers studied 192 females and 190 males at a real speed-dating event. The researchers asked these daters to fill out a questionnaire about their personalities, go through a round of three-minute speed dates, and predict the number of dates that would be interested in seeing them again. This predicted number was then compared to the actual number of “yeses” the daters got from potential mates in order to see how accurately they could predict their own level of attractiveness.

The researchers found that the more stereotypically feminine – that is, the more warm, cooperative, and trusting – the women were, the more aware they were of their looks. Likewise, the men that adhered to the stereotypically masculine patterns of dating, such as the desire to be promiscuous and a need to play the field, correlated with a sense of self-awareness when it came to their appearance.

Although neither sex was particularly great at predicting their attractiveness to others, with most overestimating their appeal, the study did show a solid correlation between gender roles and the participants’ sense of  accuracy. The researchers hypothesized that “the reason for their finding is that daters who conform to gender stereotypes get more practice at the mating game. Promiscuous men are more likely to put themselves out there…[and] warm, trusting women may attract more flirtation than their aloof counterparts,” writes Stephanie Pappas, senior writer at LiveScience.

This experience can lead to a better understanding of one’s own league and, more importantly, where one fits into ever-important one-ten scale.

So what does this mean for our own sense of attractiveness as young, self-confident women?  Are only stereotypically feminine women considered pretty? Are only cocky men hot? What do you think?

A few days ago, a poll showed up on the CC homepage that really irked me. Actually, let me correct myself: it wasn’t the poll itself that irked me—it was the results.

The question was, “What’s your ideal dress size?” and the answer choices were 2-4, 6-8, and 10-12. With barely a second thought, I clicked on 6-8 (my size right now as well as my ideal) to weigh in on the poll. When I saw the results so far, with about 70 votes tallied, my jaw about hit the floor. FIFTY-NINE PERCENT of voters picked 2-4 as their ideal dress size. That’s three out of every five women!

If you’re naturally very petite or tiny and/or if your doctor has actually told you that your ideal size should be 2-4, then you’re excused from my rant right now. Everybody else: listen up. Aren’t you the same girls who stand up against unrealistic media portrayals of women, who defend the fact that women aren’t and shouldn’t all be a size 2, and speak up about how seeing skinny models everywhere is bad for women’s self-images?

If so, then HOW can you turn your backs on all that and confess in a poll that you really want to be a size 2-4? Read More »

I am not a freak.

I am not ugly. I am not fat. I only have one chin, and I can certainly rock a pair of jeans.

Just not in pictures.

I. Take. Horrible. Photos. In fact, I think I am the most unphotogenic person to ever grace this good earth.

Candid pictures are the enemy, and everyone knows me as the girl who “untags herself” on Facebook. Even though everyone saw me partying it up on Friday night, like a top secret spy, I erase any and all remnants of my person once the pictures hit the internet.

Why? Well, I guess you could say I have a dash of low-self esteem. Growing up, I was a chubby kid until about 7th grade.

I still remember what it’s like to have huge cheeks that turn your eyes into little slits when you smile, and I often see myself as that chipmunked-out kid whenever a photo pops up showing me grinning like a moron.

Anything that makes me look the least bit chubby is immediately deemed horrible.

But I really think there’s more to my fear of pictures than living with the normal amount of 20-something image issues. I just flat out look bad in two dimensions. Over and over, time and time again, shot after shot, my face shines like a rich guy’s shoes and my face gains about 7 pounds.

Some of you are probably shaking your heads right now, certain that I just hate myself. But honestly, if the evidence wasn’t so cringe worthy, I’d put it up right now. Just to prove my point.

Some people aren’t photogenic. And I’m one of them. Read More »

I wasn’t fat when I was 12, but I sure as hell felt like it. I probably weighed around 105 pounds—maybe 110—but it still didn’t keep me from feeling like the fattest cheerleader on the squad. I look at that picture of me now, and it makes me sad that at that particular moment in my life, and I remember it so distinctly, that I felt so fat.

Which is why this girl makes me so sad. Aside from the fact that it is absolutely ridiculous, I just feel sad for her.

Brooke Bates was 12 years old when she opted for liposuction and a tummy tuck to take the pounds off. At the time she was 220 pounds, which isn’t a healthy weight. But lipo and a tummy tuck during a time when your body is naturally changing due to puberty? It just seems ludicrous.

Brooke lost 40 pounds from the surgery, which she says took her from being the “big, fat girl to the popular girl.” But then less than a year later, she had gained all but five pounds back. Which makes me think that she—or her parents—weren’t combining healthy eating and exercise (and probably much needed therapy) in with her surgery. It isn’t a quick fix, especially when you’re 12. In fact, surgery shouldn’t be a way to fix it at all at that age.

Twelve is just too young. Read More »