Cookbooks are a staple for anyone who’s branching out and living on their own or with a few roommates. When I lived with two of my favorite college girls, we were constantly shopping around for new recipes to try that would satisfy our culinary delights.

It’s hard, though, to find a cookbook that has exactly what you’re looking for. That’s why, when I came across Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes, I just had to share it. Talk about tempting your culinary taste buds!

The book is reasonably priced, only $24.95 on Lulu and showcases several different ways cooking with semen in the kitchen is a genius idea.  Not only is semen good for the body, it also has an amazing, complex taste, like that of fine wines and cheeses.

Another reason to try cooking with semen.. if you’ve got a man, hooray! You’ve got a absolutely inexpensive and cost effective protein supply on hand. Restaurants should also look into semen production as penises are commonly found in most restaurant kitchens. Other locations penises can be found include: men’s bathrooms, office environments, gyms (although no word on how sweat affects taste quality) sporting events and nightlife scenes.

I can only assume that with it’s sometimes tart-like flavor, salty and sweet undertones, semen would be a great ingredient to bring to the table when you’re putting together your next apple pie or Christmas custard!

The book is available until supplies run out! And while many of you might be milking male genitals for extra semen to add to tonight’s alfredo cream sauce, I’ll be in the bathroom puking up my lunch.

Happy cooking!

Brace yourself. First semen, and now this:

Cooking with Balls: The Testicle Cookbook

If I were a man, I probably would have just grabbed my crotch and made that sympathy moan that happens when a dude sees another dude get blasted in the nads. And then I would make a joke to my girlfriend about eating balls. Unless you are my boyfriend, who made a joke about the washing instructions (soak 30-40 minutes), because he ‘only likes dirty nuts.’

Since I am a woman, I am just going to take a breath, try and keep my Baked Ruffles down, and then ask, very reasonably, WTF?!?

First of all, the photos involved are just foul, so much so that I am not even going to joke about downloading the e-book (the only form in which this is available, thank God) and watching the VIDEOS that come with it, one of which shows the author ‘peeling testicles and cutting them into bite-sized chunks.” VOM.

He also organizes an annual World Testicle Cooking Championship, at which a metric ton of testicles are cooked. DOUBLE VOM. Read More »