Yes, it’s a little nauseating, but come on; everyone’s looking for a little love come holiday time.

But what makes a good love? A rugged jaw, some tight abs and some sparkling baby blues wouldn’t hurt, but when you get down to it, those are only an added bonus. The shiny gold bangle to your already perfect LBD. The truth is, there are way more important things every guy’s gotta have if he wants the honor of calling us his GF. And no, Pauly D, having a 25-minute daily hair regimen is not one of them.

So here are the 5 things we’re looking for when it comes to finding a boyf.

Makeout Skills:
Let’s be honest – no matter how much you love someone, no boyfriend can reach perfect status if there isn’t any chemistry, and chemistry simply can’t exist if the guy is sucking your nose off. Or licking your gums. Or drooling on your chin. A good boyfriend must have kissing mastered. And that means a variety, people. Sometimes we’re totally into a slow, romantic kiss, while other times we want to go at it like were in junior high and our parents could walk in any minute.

A Job
Of course the shallow reasons hold true; we can’t help it, we’re girls. When we decide to date just one guy, we want to know he can take us out to dinner and a movie every once in a while. We’re not asking for diamond rings, but a gift on Christmas and birthdays is pretty much necessary (call it superficial, but when Christmas rolls around again and all you get is another card, you won’t be happy). But beyond the material things, holding a job is usually a good sign of character. Chances are he’s up before noon, has a good work ethic and has a future beyond his mom’s couch.

A Sense of Humor
The physical attraction is only going to keep us interested for so long. Especially when he starts opting for cheeseburgers instead of trips to the gym and that 6-pack begins to soften up a bit. So there obviously has to be things about his personality that have us coming back for more. And while being compassionate or hardworking or loads of fun is important, more often than not it’s the guy with the good sense of humor that hooks us. We want someone who will make us laugh so hard we pee once in awhile. That’s normal, right?

An Equal Desire for Fun and Romance
There are some nights where we just want to get into our sweats and cuddle on the couch watching movies all night. But the next night we’re ready to slip into some heels and go out dancing. A good boyfriend also has this desire (to party…not slip into a pair of heels). We don’t want a boyfriend who wants to sit home all the time, but someone who is out every night of the week is no good either. It’s all about balance (and/or a mutual respect for all things Gaga).

Love for My Dog
Sorry, but before he came along my pooch was the one snuggling up next to me at night, sharing my dinner and watching TV curled up with on the couch. If you don’t love my dog as much as I do, it’s just not going to work out. Plus, a guy who doesn’t love animals is missing a piece of his heart… if he even has one.

What else do you guys think a good boyfriend must have?

Yes, it’s a little nauseating, but come on; everyone’s looking for a little love come holiday time.

But what makes a good love? A rugged jaw, some tight abs and some sparkling baby blues wouldn’t hurt, but when you get down to it, those are only an added bonus. The shiny gold bangle to your already perfect LBD. The truth is, there are way more important things every guy’s gotta have if he wants the honor of calling us his GF. And no, Pauly D, having a 25-minute daily hair regimen is not one of them.

So here are the 5 things we’re looking for when it comes to finding a boyf.

Makeout Skills:
Let’s be honest – no matter how much you love someone, no boyfriend can reach perfect status if there isn’t any chemistry, and chemistry simply can’t exist if the guy is sucking your nose off. Or licking your gums. Or drooling on your chin. A good boyfriend must have kissing mastered. And that means a variety, people. Sometimes we’re totally into a slow, romantic kiss, while other times we want to go at it like were in junior high and our parents could walk in any minute.

A Job
Of course the shallow reasons hold true; we can’t help it, we’re girls. When we decide to date just one guy, we want to know he can take us out to dinner and a movie every once in a while. We’re not asking for diamond rings, but a gift on Christmas and birthdays is pretty much necessary (call it superficial, but when Christmas rolls around again and all you get is another card, you won’t be happy). But beyond the material things, holding a job is usually a good sign of character. Chances are he’s up before noon, has a good work ethic and has a future beyond his mom’s couch.

A Sense of Humor
The physical attraction is only going to keep us interested for so long. Especially when he starts opting for cheeseburgers instead of trips to the gym and that 6-pack begins to soften up a bit. So there obviously has to be things about his personality that have us coming back for more. And while being compassionate or hardworking or loads of fun is important, more often than not it’s the guy with the good sense of humor that hooks us. We want someone who will make us laugh so hard we pee once in awhile. That’s normal, right?

An Equal Desire for Fun and Romance
There are some nights where we just want to get into our sweats and cuddle on the couch watching movies all night. But the next night we’re ready to slip into some heels and go out dancing. A good boyfriend also has this desire (to party…not slip into a pair of heels). We don’t want a boyfriend who wants to sit home all the time, but someone who is out every night of the week is no good either. It’s all about balance (and/or a mutual respect for all things Gaga).

Love for My Dog
Sorry, but before he came along my pooch was the one snuggling up next to me at night, sharing my dinner and watching TV curled up with on the couch. If you don’t love my dog as much as I do, it’s just not going to work out. Plus, a guy who doesn’t love animals is missing a piece of his heart… if he even has one.

What else do you guys think a good boyfriend must have?

Yeah, that’s right, I said it. I am over them.

Okay, so I’ll always have a weakness for super hot abs (I’m looking at you, RPatz), but I would much rather spend my time with the new class of men out there. I call them the Hunky Beefy Boys and they are redefining what it means for men to be sexy. And I like it.

Thanks to the new comedians out there in Hollywood, charming is in and hot is out. Comedians like Jason Segel, Vince Vaughn, Seth Rogen, and Will Ferrell are now considered Hollywood’s sexiest. Whereas women wouldn’t give guys like them a fighting chance before, these guys are now making the girls swoon.

So maybe they don’t have washboard stomachs or chiseled cheek bones but they have charm, wit, and a sense of humor that make them completely irresistible. And they are all perfectly hunky beefy: tall with a little more cushion for the pushin’, but still fit and mouth-watering.

Traditional hotties of the past like George Clooney, Harrison Ford, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt are still sexy, obvs, but they are starting to fall by the wayside for these new guys who have something more than an Abercrombie smile.

So what is it exactly that has us melting like a pat of butter into their husky hands?

Their Humor/Wit/Pure Awesomeness: Honestly, who wouldn’t want to spend time with someone that can literally make your sides hurt with laughter? Any guy can be sweet, but not all guys can be funny. Plus, laughing contracts your ab muscles, so keeping these men around means a much more toned and defined mid-section (legit).

Their Effort in Bed: Most of these non-traditional sexy men don’t have the perfect face and body of the traditional hot men of women’s fantasies. Unlike someone like George Clooney, who just has to look at a woman to get her in bed, these guys have to work for a girl’s attention. And work hard. And what does that mean? It means they’re all about the giving in bed. Which works out well for all of the takers out there. Mainly, me.

Their Charm: Every girl wants a guy that her friends and family can love. A pretty face can only last so long, but a great personality and charm will last forever. Work function, a friend’s party, or a relative’s wedding? These men will not only be fine on their own when you beeline to the bathroom, but will probably be the hit of whatever crowd they’re a part of. Their confidence (and dance moves…thank you, Wedding Crashers) is utterly irresistible to anyone and everyone.

Their Bear Hugs: Nothing feels better than a guy who can wrap his arms around you and make you feel warm and safe. Well, nothing besides a guy who can pick you up and hold you against a wall during sexy time. And, let’s be real, those tall, hunky frames are perfect for snuggle-time too.

So guys, if you’re reading this, don’t worry if you’re no James Dean. Just charm us and make us giggle; you’ll be on your way to sex symbol in no time.

[Photo courtesy of JustJared.com]

"So....maybe we could go out sometime?"

Sometimes I like to think I’m David Letterman, only with better teeth and less wrinkles. So, every week I write a top ten list of things that are super duper relevant and important. Like staying sober…and those celebs we love to hate.

This week, I’m breakin’ it down for the boys out there. Myself, and many CollegeCandies are not big fans of He’s Just Not That Into You. I do think the book has some valid points, but it’s way too over the top. So I’ve decided to write a rebuttal and tackle the ten signs that She’s Just Not That Into You.

Guys, take note!

10. She stops texting back.
No, my phone isn’t off. It’s never off. I mean, how else would I get Facebook updates 24/7? Not to mention my solitaire addiction. Unless you’re with a girl who doesn’t have a texting plan, she got your text message. If a girl likes you she will answer your text message, guaranteed. She also spent a good twenty minutes thinking up her forty character response.

If she’s just not that into you? You’ll get no response or “lol yeah” for an answer. For the record? “Lol yeah” is the kiss of death, homeboy. Please don’t text three times back to back. It’s desperate. No, I don’t want to hang out with you, and NO I don’t really have a boyfriend – I just said that because I didn’t want to tell you the harsh truth: you’re a straight up creeper and you’re in my address book as “Weirdo Scumbag.” Get the hint.

9. She avoids physical contact at all costs.
PDA is gross. Hand holding can be stupid. If we are rejecting even kisses on the cheek or flinch when your leg brushes against us? Yeah, it’s hairy and kinda gross, but there’s something more: you’re in the “friend zone.” 

8. She’s. Not. Amused.
If we like you, no matter how stupid and corny your jokes are, we’ll laugh. Oh yeah, we will. Even if we just giggle and say, “that’s cheesy,” girls will still make a point to smile, even at the corniest of jokes.
EXAMPLE:
Boy-toy: How do you keep a rhinocerous from charging?
Girl: I don’t know, how?
Boy-toy: You take away his credit card!
Girl (over-enthusiastically): HAHAHA omigod you have such a good sense of humor!
Boy-toy (thinking): I know, right? Ugh I am the MAN! That joke is effin’ hilarious!

7. She talks about other cute boys, crushes and dates in front of you.
No brainer. Enjoy hearing, “No, he’s just my good friend.”

6. You don’t know if her family/friends like you.

Here are some tip-offs:

- She hasn’t introduced you to her circle of friends or family.
- She hasn’t brought you home.
- She doesn’t talk about you to her mom.
- She doesn’t talk about you to anyone.
- Even her beloved pekingese puppy (who she tells everything to) hasn’t heard your name.

She’s just not that into you. Neither is her fluffy pooch.

5. She doesn’t freak out about things.
You’re going out with another girl. Go ahead! You think her best friend’s hot? She asks if you want her number. You didn’t call her back because you thought you were playing “hard to get”? She doesn’t even mention it. Didn’t remember her birthday? Big deal, it’s just a birthday. You blew her off last minute for a formal? Awesome, because you were the fifth person she asked and that hottie in Chem 101 just became available. You’re a last resort, sorry!

4. She talks openly about bodily functions.
She doesn’t try and cover up the nasty noises that come out of her after eating too many two dollar tacos. She challenges you to burping contests. You’re more familiar with her digestive tract than your own. Gross. She’s not that into you….but she should be into some Pepto-bismol.

3. She’s got a boyfriend/fiancée/husband/ex that she’s sleeping with.
She’s attached. Odds are high that she won’t dump Mr. Whoever for you. She might even be lying about a boyfriend to get rid of you. Not that I’ve used that line before… or like… this morning. Oops.

2. She’s really busy with school/work/feeding her goldfish.
If a girl likes you, she will always make the time for you, every damn day. There is not one single chica on this planet who can’t carve out a measly five minutes of her day to contact you in some shape or form. You deserve better, don’t be last on her “to-do list” right under “re-organize all the Tupperware in my apt.”

1. She doesn’t Facebook you back.
Might sound stupid, but this is HUGE. With the way technology is today, Facebook is as available to everyone as text messaging. Not to mention, girls LOVE Facebook. If she can take the time to become a fan of Brody Jenner, she can take the time to write on your wall, message you back or poke you in a timely manner. And if she hearts you, she will want everyone on FB to know.

During a week we devoted to the Eating Disorder epidemic, we feel it is important to stop hating on ourseles and, instead, focus on the extraordinary things we have to offer. So, we asked the CollegeCandy writers what they loved about themselves and it looks like we have some pretty fantastic writers.

What is your favorite thing about yourself?

Amanda – Wagner: I love my ability to laugh at myself. I think its important not to take yourself too seriously and try to just laugh at all the crazy in your life. And, of course, I always have a good story to tell because if that.

Brithny – Duke: I love how I am an ABC- American Born Chinese. It’s given me more opportunities and experiences than I could ever hope for.

Leah – Ryerson University: I love my body as a whole.  I wouldn’t change one thing about it.

Alex – Lakehead University:  My smile and laugh. I snort and usually other people laugh at my laugh, so I get people smiling.

Donnette – Manhattanville College: My confidence.  I am tall and thin and have been judged unfairly because of the way I look, but I take it all in stride.  I do not allow the things people say to bring me down.

John – UConn: My twelve-foot stature, cast-iron beard, x-ray laser vision and the jetpack installed in my butt. Also, I have a gun that launches live wolves.

Liza M – Puget Sound: Definitely my nose. It’s cute and tiny. Totally button nose status!Kari – FSU: I love my natural ringlets…even though I’ve spent too many years and way too much money damaging them straight.

Lauren – University of Michigan: My lips…and the witty and fantastic things that come out of them.

Thu – USC: My sense of humor. I love laughing and making others laugh.

Liza – Grove City College: I love my belly!  It used to be really flat, but now I have a little pooch (probably from booze) and I’m in love with my little mini-beer belly.

Sara C- Fordham: My favorite personal trait is that I will speak my mind without worrying what other people will think. I am comfortable with myself and I know I have friends who love me for who I am and not who I try to be

Elizabeth – Berkeley: My smile; it took 8 years and 2 round of braces to get these pearly whites!

Sarabeth – University of Texas: I love my blue eyes. Everyone always asks if they’re colored contacts!

Kelly – UMass: My laugh. I snort. It’s a crowd pleaser.

Elise – Stanford: I give great advice, despite needing quite a bit of it myself.

Donyae – University of Maryland: I have an awesome hourglass figure. People pay to have boobs that look like mine, so what if my stomach is a little pouchy?

Erica – Kent State: I love being short (4’10″). Sure, it makes certain things complicated (like, when you have a boyfriend who is 6’5″…use your imagination), but for the most part I love being teeny tiny.

K – GWU: Definitely the butt, didn’t use to have junk in the trunk and now that I do, I like to work it.

Jess T – Columbia University: I love my smile, and the fact that I genuinely do it so often.

Carly – Grinnell: I like my quirkiness. It makes me feel happy.

Without giving it away, I couldn’t help laughing even as I blushed. At the same time, I learned a lot about what NOT to do when the realities of our bodies inevitably trip us up.

1. You must talk about sex. On Chesil Beach is set in the early sixties, a time when it was “simply impossible” for anyone to discuss sex. It’s the ultimate taboo subject even when people are married, and as a result, couples who get together barely know what to do with each other or even what to expect.

In the book, Florence is given a brief pamphlet about the bare bones of sex, but she still doesn’t have the first clue of what to do or what will happen on the man’s side of things. Because of this huge taboo of talking about sex, neither of them can talk healthily about it when things go wrong. Times have changed a lot since then, but I still think the taboo stands in a lot of situations. We’re not supposed to say certain words, protest if something hurts, or talk about what we want. But without having these difficult and embarrassing conversations, people will end up being disappointed, hurt, or just plain confused.

2. Don’t feel ashamed. A powerful sense of shame is another reason why Florence and Edward feel paralyzed in McKewan’s book. When things go wrong, Florence immediately assumes it’s her fault, she has done something wrong. Edward similarly feels ashamed for having “failed.” In reality, sex the first time is harder than TV and movies make it out to be. It takes a little finagling to get the jigsaw pieces together, so to speak, and if either girl or guy feels shame about this, it will taint the whole experience.

3.The girl’s gotta feel good too! In the world of On Chesil Beach, women were expected to be entirely passive. In fact, a woman who enjoyed sex too much was regarded with suspicion. Sex is supposed to be something that women just bear or tolerate, and not much side stuff was done for the woman’s pleasure. Thankfully, in this modern day and age we know that it’s just as important for women to have fun as men! If your partner is neglecting your pleasure, you’ve got to speak up and say so. Sex shouldn’t have to be something to be borne for anyone.

4. Be supportive, and be able to laugh. First times are awkward. They just…are. The worst thing would be losing your sense of humor if things get a bit silly. As long as you’re not laughing at your partner, of course! You’ve both got to be there for each other, and be able to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. If you’re too serious, and are expecting a home run on the first try, then everyone is just going to end up disappointed. So relax! There’s gotta be a first time, and as long as you are communicative, you can survive the awkwardness with your sense of humor intact.

But you want to avoid dating complete losers, right? I mean, what’s even the point?

So here are a few tips for picking out the good ones while you’re still in college. (The dating world outside your university doors? A whooooole other can of worms.) Follow ‘em.

He’s Got To Have A Good Sense of Humor

Number one. Because, girls, if he’s cranky and depressive now, imagine how he’ll be in the Real World when he’s actually got Real Life responsibilities. (Read: He’ll suck.) Besides, why would you want to hang around someone who doesn’t make you laugh (or who doesn’t laugh at your jokes)?

He’s Got A Passion

If he says that his passion is you, get out fast. He better have some outside interests or else you’re in trouble. I mean, unless you like clingy men who bug the hell out of you every time you’re not near them and/or go into jealous rages. And you also want to know that he’s really dedicated to something because that shows an eagerness to make a place for himself in this world. If you want to be with a drifting loser, you might as well date the stoner-next-door. If you’re into that, cool, but I say it gets old really fast.

You Share A Lifestyle

Which is not to say you have to do the same things or act the same way or anything like that. Hey, sometimes opposites attract. But if you love to party and he’s adamantly anti-alcohol, you’ll find yourselves fighting over it all the time. There’s no way around that. Unless, of course, you compromise on something you care about and end up resenting each other. Make sure you both understand and respect the things that are important to each other.

Fixer-Uppers Can’t Be Fixed

So don’t bother with someone you think could be cool if you could just help them out with that nasty little credit problem (or whatever). People don’t change unless they want to change. Don’t bother trying.

Good Grades

Okay, this one might be iffy, but if he’s flunking out of school (unless it’s for a real legitimate reason), it probably hints at something else going on. Find out the real issue before you decide if you want to get involved. It’s not selfish to stay out of a relationship you know will end up hurting you; it’s smart.

A Good Reputation

Or at least not a bad reputation. If everyone knows this guy loves ‘em and leaves ‘em, it’s not worth the emotional agony of hoping that this one time he’ll stay true. (Hint: he won’t.)

Attractive Features

That is to say, features you find attractive. If you like him, you’ll find him attractive even if others don’t, and then you should go for it. If you don’t find him attractive, it’ll never work. Really.

Long Term Goals

It almost doesn’t matter what they are, you just want him to have something in mind. This shows maturity. And don’t we want maturity? I mean, maturity means having an understanding of the world and your place within it, not a total lack of a sense of humor; he should still be able to make poop jokes (see step 1).

Get it? Got it? Good. Date away!

[Image courtesy of www.americansuperstarmag.com]

Since learning that confidence is the most attractive thing to a man, I have been pretty successful in my late night endeavors. I see a man I want and I go for it. The general “walk up to a guy and flirt your heart out” approach is most definitely the way to go, but it is the variety of pick-up lines that makes the whole thing so much more fun.

My 5 most successful are listed below. Feel free to use ‘em…they work like a charm. (Just make sure to thank me later. I accept cookies, hugs and dates with Jake Gyllenhaal.)

1. Did you go to [Insert school here]? It is always good to have something to talk about when you approach a man. I mean, you would look pretty creepy if you just walked up to him and stood around. The school thing is always the best way to go because even if you know for a fact that kid did NOT go to Michigan, it is a great way to start off a convo. And let him know how smart you are.

2. My friends and I are fighting and I need your opinion. Is it true that all you guys need is a handful? Always a good line for the flatter ladies out there. This says, I have small boobs and I’m fine with it. Oh, it also shows the guy you have a sense of humor…and you want him to look at your boobs. Later. In bed.

3. Tell your friend you don’t need a wingman. Dudes always bring out a wingman. Without one, they just look like creepy/sleezy guys looking to get laid. Just tell him to ditch the friend and you have yourself more one on one time…instead of all that time wasted hanging out with the friends and trying to think of a way to get home.

4. [Chugs drink in front of boy.] I can’t seem to get a drink around here…Maybe you’ll have better luck? What can I say? I like getting free drinks… Oh and free drinks lead to drunk/horny people, which ends up working for all of us in the end.

5. What do you do for a living? Oh? I write a sex column. This one gets them every. time. And maybe that’s why I’m always using it. Men simply cannot turn down the opportunity to see their name in print. The minute I tell them what I do (and prove it by whippin’ out the iPhone), they can’t stay away. Not a sex columnist? Lie. I promise…this one always leads to happy endings (and not the kind you have to pay for).

Got any others? I’m always open to trying new ideas….