So you managed to find yourself a keeper. You’ve been together for a substantial amount of time, the big L word has long since been exchanged and you two are pretty much inseparable. You are one smitten kitten. You’ve even got the guy using the words “our” and “future” in the same sentence. In fact, you two are so annoyingly in love, that you’re spending way more time at his place than at your own.

At this point, you’re starting to question the practicality of paying rent on a place you barely see, but at the same time, moving in together is such a big deal.

So then … what are the pros and cons to that complicated middle ground that is ditching the girls and moving in with your man?

Pros:

You have a chance to see what married life would be like. It’s a scary thought, but that’s where lots of college relationships go, right? Can you balance the chores? Do you manage money the same? Can you tolerate his tendency to put empty milk cartons back in the fridge? It is essentially a test drive on all (ALL!) levels of compatibility, which is great because if that test drive fails, you can go your separate ways without having to formally divorce.

You get to see a side of him you might not see otherwise. You see him on his bad days, his good days … you’ll see the real, honest to goodness HIM and not just the “him” he shows you on dates and such. Read More »

Rebound. It’s a common move and it’s not just for basketball. Whether we’re the ones just getting over a breakup or the new partner in our life is getting over an ex, the person intimately involved with an individual immediately post-breakup is oftentimes considered the rebound.

Everyone understands and supports the need for a little rebound action. That is, if you’re honest about what you’re seeking from the reboundees.

But there’s a gray area in rebounds I’d like to discuss:

The emotional rebound.

We all know about sexual/physical rebounds. This is when your ex does a girl you know he’s not even into after you break up. It’s when you get wasted and have some good ol’ random sex during that trip back home to collect your mind. But does the rebound always have to be physical?

Is there such thing as an emotional rebound? Can an emotional rebound be someone separate from your sexual/physical rebound? So many questions! Read More »

If you’re in a first serious relationship like I am, there are a lot of questions and doubts swirling around. Part of you wants to hold back emotionally because, after all, this is the first time, and it’s rare to strike gold the first time you go digging. But you are so happy and in love and you just know this is a biggie.

But what does that mean? And how do we navigate the rocky waters of a serious relationship? The only guides we have are cheesy sitcoms. Do we actually need to exchange letter sweaters? Make a fuss on the six-month anniversary? Spend every waking moment together, or have our own time? Talk about every little detail of our childhoods? Can we disagree on something big and still be happy together?

It can be a difficult job to sift through what expectations to set in a healthy, supportive relationship. The important thing, however, is to do just that and have a clear idea of what your expectations are. If you’re expecting flowers every week but the significant other doesn’t believe in giving gifts, someone’s going to get their feelings hurt. Or if going out with friends of the opposite sex is upsetting for one person but not the other, some ground rules should be set. Living the monogamous life has plenty of pitfalls, but the smart, communicative couple can avoid most of them. Read More »

So it’s Thanksgiving.

If you are single, that means it is a day to fill that lonely void with family, football, frosting-covered desserts. If you are in a relationship, that means it is time for some meeting of the parents, whether your boy is meeting yours, or you are heading home with him for the holiday.

You meeting his parents? You will do fine – moms always love their son’s girlfriends.

Is he meeting yours? Well, that is a whole different story.

Many of us don’t think much of this moment; we just want our parents to meet the new dude in our lives. But to guys, meeting the parents is huge. Momentous. Monumental. OhMyGodSheWantsToGetMarried!!!

At least that’s what I gathered from my ex boyfriend who ran to the hills when I invited him to my parents’ for dinner. I thought maybe he didn’t like burgers, but as one of my male advisors explained, the meat was the least of his problems. It was the dinner guests that were the real issue.

Why is it such a big deal? Why can’t guys just man up and handle a free dinner? Let’s see what a guy had to say… Read More »

Ladies, I’m sure you’ll agree with me: one of the most important aspects in any serious relationship is the sex. There’s no denying the physical and emotional needs for it, so what happens when you’re not getting any?  I had never anticipated being in a sexless relationship, so it came as a shock when my guy had a confession: he valued love and intimacy over the physical act of sex.

Right.

Naturally, it was a blow to my self-esteem. Was it me? Was I not sexy enough? Did the thought of me naked make his manhood shrivel with disgust? Read More »

The other day I had brunch all by myself for the first time ever. One-hundred percent on my own. Without a book or a magazine, no laptop, no iPod, and certainly no friends in sight.

It wasn’t planned, exactly. I’d left the apartment with plans to meet a guy pal at our favorite cafe, until he frantically called me explaining that his dog had swallowed a tube of BenGay.

Of course I understood the dire need to rush his pooch to the nearest vet, but my growling stomach didn’t seem to share that same feeling of empathy. Knowing I’d have to order my usual strawberry pancakes on my own, I wondered if my fake could pull through and reward me with a mimosa or two. After all, look how independent I was being!

Sitting there at my table-for-one, having to stifle my urge to make conversation, (“So I got completely hammered last night and gave the bouncer my phone number…”) and repetitively forgetting there’s no one sitting across from me this cloudy Sunday, I realized how important it is to learn independence at a young age.

Sure, moving out and living life away from home for four (or five!) brilliant college years provide everyone with a fair lesson in self-sufficiency, but how independent are you really? Could you go out by yourself if you had to? I know I personally get antsy even having to meet someone at a party. Walking through a crowded dance floor trying to locate a friend or the keg (whichever one first) launches me into mini-panic attacks. Read More »