[The following post was written by dating coach, Kira Sabin, a keg of dating and relationship wisdom. She's been helping people find love for years so we thought we'd tap this keg and see what sort of brilliant advice she has for the CollegeCandy readers. Drink up!]

I still get a little nostalgic this time of year thinking back to the beginning of my freshman year. Over the first few months Ann (my roommate, bestie and partner in crime) and I dominated in getting to know new people.  Somehow through classes, our brand new social life and dorm we were meeting people left, right and center.  Everyone had a story and was as just excited to meet us as we were to meet them.  Every day was new and had limitless possibilities of friends, fun and dates.

Then something happened.  I am not sure if it was classes or winter kicking in, but we just fell in the rhythm of spending time with who we knew.  Our own little clique. A group of ladies who lived on the same dorm floor with whom who we ate, studied and hung out.  Judgments were made about other people (he’s a jock, she’s a library addict, he’s a science geek, etc) and although we were nice, we jut didn’t step out of our group much.

As college continued it was crazy how those cliques didn’t change much. People were still referred to by their friends, status and even freshman year dorm and floor.  Not until I started a “Kira’s Question o’the Week” for the college newspaper did I realize how far in my comfort zone I had gotten.  The premise of my column was that I would walk around campus and talk to people from all classes and cliques to get their take on a weekly question -  some political, some thought provoking, but mostly fun.  From the minute I was asked I was really excited about using my gregarious powers for good.

Even though it felt strange at first – approaching complete strangers isn’t easy – over the next year I mustered up my confidence to talk to everyone. Freshmen, seniors, foreign exchange students, young republicans, sororities, artists, frats, jocks, geeks, brains, musicians, EVERYONE. And you know what? It kicked ass.  I got in some of the best, most awe-inspiring conversations that I had in my whole college experience.  Conversations that would challenge my knowledge, open my mind and everything I knew.  Everyone had a story they wanted to share and the strange thing was, all I had to do was ask.  All of my absolutely ridiculous preconceived judgments were kicked to the curb and I felt embarrassed by the people that I wrote off because of they were not part of my clique.

In retrospect, I realize that this has actually become the core to my dating philosophy for not only myself but my clients.  Online dating sites want everyone to believe that it is where everyone is meeting their significant other, but the number one way to meet people is still through friends.  It is so much easier to crush on the guy that your friend has told you all about then the questionable rando in the bar, right?  And the bigger the social circle you have the better the chance you have to meet great guys to date.  It’s simple math.

So here is my new school year inspiration for you…figure out how to make your own way to talk to everyone.  Talk to the guy whose socks don’t match, I bet he is fun.   The girl who seems to have everything going for her, you will find out she doesn’t (but she might have some really great guy friends).  The overly confident jock.  The library addict. Everyone has a story and many times it is not that different from yours.  Open up and find out people’s stories.

The best part?  You never know who may become a great friend, a movie buddy, or even a ….date.

Dating Makeover New School Year Challenge:  Smile, say hello or talk to 3 new people a day.  What do you have to lose?

Want more kick ass challenges?  Join us in January for the College Candy Dating Makeover.

Considering I had never met the guy, I had my doubts that he asked for my number. Nonetheless I gave my grandmother permission to give it to him. Then I promptly forgot about the whole yentil-style-matchmaker-ambush and went back to my daily life of interning and unsuccessful haggling with street vendors.

And then, a few days later, like a missed call in shining armor, I received the following voicemail. Try not to swoon.

“Hi Jenni, this is Ben, my grandmother is making me call you, I don’t know what the hell is going on. I guess call me back at 867-5309. You know what, or don’t this is so awkward.”

It’s almost unnecessary to say but after that charming message, we began dating, one thing led to another, and we’re getting married in the Plaza over the fourth of July weekend. Slash NOT.

I have yet to return the call. I don’t remember this happening to anyone during Fiddler on the Roof and that’s the only experience I have with being set up by my elders. I’m tempted to just text him this blog link, but then again he is my only prospect at the moment (sure he’s playing a little hard to get) and I don’t want to ruin my chances.

After all, I’m not in college anymore and I can’t just meet guys and immediately classify them by their fraternity affiliation. I have no idea who anyone is or how to tell the difference between a genuinely awesome guy and one who meets and murders girls off of eHarmony.

Am I going to have to depend on being set-up by friends (not relatives) from now on? Even worse, do I need to get professional head shots taken so I can use the Millionaire Matchmaker service (and make my grandparents proud)?

Another thing I’m going to have to figure out.

Keep your head straight.

Prioritize your goals. Meeting a new guy, as awesome as it theoretically seems, should definitely not be numero uno on your list. No matter how much time and effort you dedicate to searching for your Prince Charming, it won’t pay off if that’s all your interested in. A) You will absolutely come off like that crazy girl from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days—and guys just aren’t into that. B) It’s Murphy’s Law that whatever you want will find you exactly when you’re not looking for it. And, most importantly, C) Maintaining your circle of friends, hobbies, talents and already great life in general is what makes you an interesting person in the first place; if you want to meet an interesting guy, don’t you think he’ll have the same expectations of you?

Get Sexy (-er).

Whether you’re already a bona fide bombshell or you’re ready for a complete face/wardrobe/etc., overhaul, getting dressed up to the point where you look HAWT and you know it is an instant guy magnet. Why is this? Well it’s more than your 4- inch stilettos and “ass jeans”—it’s the confidence you radiate knowing that you’re the bomb.com. So whatever you need to do to get yourself in the “You will worship the ground I walk on” frame of mind–be it a blowout, manicure, shopping spree or your favorite perfume—make it a habit before you go anywhere you think you may meet Mr. February 14th…and it could be somewhere you weren’t suspecting.

Location, Location, Location!

While getting wastey faced and shooting anything with testosterone your “sexy” bedroom eyes (more difficult to pull off than you’d think while inebriated!) was a perfectly effective method to reel in your midnight New Year’s kiss, it might not work when you’re setting your sights on something more than a one night stand. So skip the bars/club/ house party route and seek your dream boy somewhere outside the realm of beer goggles.

- Take advantage of the remaining New Year’s Resolutioners at the gym—but steer clear of the estrogen- overloaded ellipticals and head straight to the weight room. If you can get past the grunting, spray-tanned set (unless you’re into that) and check out the iron-pumping hotties, ask one that catches your eye to spot you. Bonus points if you have good form—maybe you can even give him a few pointers.

- Grab a girlfriend and go to a tennis court or indoor squash court. Not only do hot, sweaty guys abound , but you two will get to wear sweet outfits and get a fun workout in, regardless of if you meet anyone.

- Head over to good ol’ Starbucks, order yourself your favorite Venti and park yourself in the corner with a good book. Don’t get too absorbed though, and scan who enters every time the baristas welcome someone new; if he’s cute, give him a warm smile and pray he can’t find anywhere else to sit.

Carpe Diem!

When opportunity knocks, invite it in to curl up on the couch with you and watch the Dark Knight. When your best friend wants to set you up with her co-worker who mentioned a band you like, just let it happen. When your cute lab partner asks what your weekend plans are, bat those eyelashes while you tell him you may have some free time with his name on it. Keep an open mind and accept invitations you normally would pass on, for whatever reason. Even if you don’t meet your V-day partner, you may meet next year’s, or at least meet cool guys you otherwise never would have bothered with.

Whether you find someone before February 14th or not, living by some or all of these rules will pay off eventually. And if you don’t have a date on Cupid’s High Holy Day? Grab some Godiva and curl up with a nice slasher movie.

They’re not happy until we’re miserable like them. They obsess over adding new couples to the guest list for charades or a round of Trivial Pursuit: the Pop Culture edition, and leave no stone unturned when seeking out converts-to-be. The most elaborate, and most obvious, baiting for information is the attempted nonchalant life inquiry. “So how are things? You know, work, your 401K…” Blah blah blah, quick segue: “You seeing anybody? Oh, really? Because I have this friend…” There is no question in my mind that every person who has been single for a minute of their lives has been hypothetically set up with “this friend.”

“This friend” gets around. Every couple known to man has tried their damnedest to set up “this friend” with a nice significant other to share in double dates and dinner party conversation, and smugly grin over such quality matchmaking they have mastered. “Well, Jenny and Matt actually met because of us. Funny story—Oh, no, you tell it, hon…”

The story is never funny. The story is a sham and you, my former favorite couple, are not the inventors of setting up friends. Nor should you strain your shoulder by patting yourself on the back. People need to hook up, it’s human instinct. You arranged sex for your friends to keep them from b*tching about the dating scene. It’s like keeping a child from screaming by shoving a candy bar in his mouth. This is not a novel idea.

But please. Go on. Tell me about “this friend.” I’m sure he’s attractive (once you get to know him) and so funny (about six cocktails into the evening). He’s just my type, if you take away all of my prerequisites and throw in some “tolerable” details. Maybe, in fact, we should just cut the awkward ‘date’ part and get down to business. Fact is, “this friend” really only cares that I’m anatomically correct, and that neither of us have gotten any in awhile. He deals with me being tall, and if I’m not his idea of pretty, he exaggerates a bit to his buddies. Everybody wins come morning.

I’m sorry, and I’m sure that my existence as a lone creature is nothing short of pathetic to you. But am I that desperate in your eyes? “This friend” is the best I can do now? Am I really there? Already? And even worse… am I that awful as just me?