And here I thought the discount Absolut was the best part of my Costco membership...

Chanel at Costco? STFU.

I thought the only thing of value they had there was the 40-pack of Trojans for a mere $10. Who knew that between the 80 rolls of Angel Soft toilet paper and the caskets, a myriad of designer brand names could be found at your local Costco warehouse?

New York City residents celebrated the opening of its first Costco by rushing the doors and buying out their stock of Louis Vuitton and Chanel handbags. Oh, did I forget to mention they had Burberry and Coach available for purchase as well? Shock me, shock me, shock me, Costco, with your fabulous merchandise. As if the Costco brand wasn’t designer enough already.

And it doesn’t stop there. 7 For All Mankind jeans? You got it. Michele watches?  No big deal. Paris Hilton’s latest perfume… well I’ll pass on that, but if I ever get the urge to smell like a Can Can dancer, I’ll know where to go.

Costco people are a special brand of human. We live life large. Extra large, if possible. Our carts are always filled to the brim with giant boxes of whatever we can get our hands on. And just when we thought life couldn’t get any better, Costco delivers us the crème de la crème of a shopper’s paradise.

These goodies aren’t available at all Costco’s nationwide (…yet), but I’m just happy to live in a world where it’s OK to purchase a discount case of hot dogs and a Chanel purse at the same time.

I love the fantasy version of dating where everything’s shrouded in a pink mist and it rains sunshine and daisies on you and your perfect mate. Music plays when you kiss, you’re wined and dined, showered with gift boxes from Tiffany’s… and everything’s fantastic because, duh, you’re in love. Or what Dane Cook refers to in many a sketch as “lerve.”

Clearly in Fantasyland there is no concept of money, which is the primary reason I would LOVE to move there and live happily ever after with Christian Bale.

Let’s face it, ladies, the dating game has gotten out of control with expenditures. If you’re doing distance, travel just to see the other person will cost you a small fortune. Between that, the upcoming holiday season, birthdays, anniversaries, Hallmark holidays and oh, remember the generic DATES you’re going on? Yeah those. They’re all costing you.

I admit, there’s nothing more fun than splurging a little on a date-night outfit, heading to a fancy schmancy dinner, going away for a weekend, or getting tickets to a concert or sporting event your new fling would die to see; it makes you happy to make other people happy, I get it. But frankly, unless you’re one of the those lucky bitches who have Mommy and Daddy as your personal piggy bank, odds are you’re young and broke. And more than likely – unless you’re dating up – so is the other person. (Note: Dating up would be the ideal way to do it if money is your concern… I don’t attract these guys, but if you have advice on how to do so, please comment away below. PLEASE.)

Sure, you want the great first impression to keep going, but is it worth getting yourself into debt to buy those Tory Burch boots for the perfect outfit, or box seats at that game? Hate to tell you, sweetie, but you don’t get reimbursed for cash spent while dating if you break up. And the bills really only make you bitter, which doesn’t make you too marketable for the next guy.

I’ve made the mistake many a time – seriously, just look at my credit history – and have a few suggestions for how to keep yourself and your credit card statements in check:

Chivalry is dead, go halvsies. Take turns visiting each other if you don’t live in the same place. If you do, have fun but spend within your means. My own record shows many a guy who had no problem letting me pay, which is fine if it’s for half, but I have yet to date someone who finds it necessary to pay my way all the time. If their situation is anything like mine, I try to appreciate that. Do what you’re comfortable with and what you can afford.

Start small with the gifts. I’m a huge fan of doing things we both can enjoy for birthdays, holidays, and the like. If you’re in the beginning of a relationship that might not be “the one,” well… it may not pay off in time, if that’s what you’re expecting. Talk with him about gifting and set a cap to your spending limit. It’s nice to do nice things for people, but, like your mom tells you, it’s really the thought that counts.

Do not, do not, do not try and buy his affection. He was attracted to you for a reason, so don’t think you need to buy him off to make up for a fight or to keep his interest. It’s not going to fix anything.

Level with him. Don’t play it off like it’s no big deal when you won’t be buying groceries for the next month after a really expensive date or weekend. If you really like this kid, tell the truth: expensive dates once in awhile are fine, but you’d love to keep it low key. It’s ultimately about the company you’re keeping, right?

Love is a many splendid (and expensive!) thing; spend wisely, ladies.

[photo courtesy of www.dating-weblog.com]

It is impossible for me to find jeans that fit me well. If they are long enough (I stand a tall 5’10), then the rise is too low. If the rise is high enough, the pants are too short. And if I am lucky enough to get those trendy little jeans over my larger-than-average thighs, they rarely make it past my larger-than-average ass (thanks mom!).

Jean shopping for me is like bathing suit shopping for most girls. I absolutely dread it. I wait until the last possible second (like yesterday when my favorite pair ripped in the crotch for the fourth time) before making my way to the store. Once there, I bring armloads of jeans into the dressing room and try on every last one. There are often tears. And there is rarely a purchase.

Recently, though, I have come across a few brands of jeans that truly are made for every body. They are longer than the standard 32” that most designer jeans (Sevens, Citizens, True Religions) run and cut a little more generously for the real female body. Some are somewhat pricey, but when you have problems finding pants like me, the price becomes an afterthought:

Joe’s Jeans: My legs are long. 34” in-seam long. Which means I usually have to shop in the guy’s jeans department if I don’t want to look like I am preparing for a flood. Not anymore. Joe’s Jeans run longer than most; they even hit the floor on me! They also have a higher rise than most other brands, so there will be no thong exposure here. I don’t know how they do it, but these jeans really do look good on everyone. Definitely a brand worth investing in.

Juicy Jeans: Another pricey pair, but totally worth the money. Not only do these run long (super long), but they are made of a great stretch material that doesn’t grow too much between washings. So, if you have a little extra bulk in the thighs or butt like me, it is not a problem; these jeans will stretch to cover and really pull you in. The standard Juicy pocket is also a great shape and size for the perfect ass-flattery.

Gap Skinny Jeans: Not many people rely on the Gap for their jean needs anymore, but perhaps you should. Gap has tons of different styles, fits and washes and one of them is sure to fit you. But, my absolute favorite is their skinny jean. These things are seriously the bomb. They come in all sorts of lengths (short, ankle, regular, long, extra long) and they are the perfect fit. The legs are not super narrow, the waist isn’t super low and the color is perfect for day or night. Oh and they are far under $100; could there be anything better?