I don’t know if I’ve been watching too much True Blood lately (or if it’s the orange mood lighting in my apartment right now), but Olivia Wilde’s face on the cover of Cosmo this month actually freaked me out. And she’s a beautiful human specimen!  Is Charlie Sheen doing the photoshop editing over at the Cosmo offices these days?  My face is not melting off because I’m looking at this cover, Sheen.  Nice try, though.

As usual, Cosmo was full of shenans (or shall I say “sheen-ans”? HA!)  this month beyond the glitched photo ops.  The first I took the giggles to was a ‘What Selena Is Really Thinking’ list below a picture of Selena Gomez about to smooch the Beibster.  First of all, I don’t care what that cute little adolescent mind is thinking while she goes in to plant one on those cotton candy Justin Bieber lips.  Keep that cute couple off of the same pages where ‘Kinky Sex‘ titles are lurking, OK!? Justin’s mother could be reading!

And in this month’s ‘Sexy vs. Skanky,’ drinking girly cocktails is sexy and drinking binges are skanky.  Obviously, my drunk-ass disagrees. Drinking binges happen to make the bingee look like Lady Gaga’s next back up dancer.  And that’s totally sexy, right? RIGHT?

Need a guy to toss you a compliment?  Has it simply been too long since he’s looked up and down your saucy set of lean machine legs and popped you a, “Damn girl, you fine?”  Cosmo says to bring your guy to the grocery store where the clerk always compliments your smile ,or the gym where your trainer always singles out your perfect form. Golly gee, why didn’t I think about that before?! Dragging my dude up to the sales clerk cowering in a corner stocking the Saltines just to lemon-squeeze a compliment out of him doesn’t sound desperate at all. Read More »

Inside Jennifer Aniston’s 42 million dollar home

The best sex posish for your orgasm

What are guys biggest insecurities during sex?

Scariest news ever. Half of men have HPV.

Hot or not: Kim Kardashian without makeup

Is getting dumped easier if he comes out?

The only good thing to come out of this Charlie Sheen debacle

XTINA gets arrested. Classy.

Is John Stamos replacing Charlie Sheen?

Freebie alert! Win music!

[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

Sex is like ice cream – it’s sweet, it’s sticky and it’s always better with hot fudge and whipped cream. Oh wait, that’s not where I was going with this. Let’s start again..

Sex is like ice cream – everyone’s got a favorite flavor. While some like Cookies ‘n Cream, others like Rum Raisin. And while some people like sex the good old fashioned way, others like to shake things up. Some like background music, others like a little dirty talkin‘. Some girls like a guy who is soft and sensual, while other girls crave hot, tie-me-up-and-take-control passion.

But no matter what we like, whether it’s lying there and enjoying the show or hopping on top for some Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, there are some things guys can do that just don’t fly between the sheets. Or on the desk. Or in the bathroom stall. Or….you get the point: Read More »

As a lady whose had a curiosity about sex education since childhood, I think it’s safe to say that I lost my sh*t when I found out that sex expert Sue Johanson, of Talk Sex with Sue fame, was stopping at my school as part of her speaking tour.

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I used to spend nights watching Talk Sex (which was called The Sunday Night Sex Show here in Canada) on the TV in my room with the headphones plugged in. I learned so much from watching this awesome old lady talk frankly and honestly about sex that I often found myself correcting my health teachers on the intricacies of sex ed.

For those of you who don’t know much about her, I highly recommend visiting her site or YouTubing some of her videos. From the “parental advisory” page on her website:

It is our belief that all human beings have a right to honest answers about their reproductive systems, the same way that they have access to information about respiratory systems or any anatomical function. As far as we’re concerned, the more information that one has, the better one is equipped to protect oneself from physical and emotional harm.

She is obviously a woman who has my heart.

During her stop at Sheridan, she covered a variety of topics, focusing mostly on the basic ins-and-outs of sex education — the things they didn’t teach us in school. And here are three things I took away from my evening with Sue: Read More »

There’s a lot of things that come with having a grown-up, healthy sex life. Our sex ed classes were taught by those who preached about “sexual health,” but never really explained what that meant. Does it just mean going to the doctor or are there more things that can fall under the umbrella of “sexual health”?

There’s a lot more to leading a healthy, sexually active life than just visiting the doctor (though, we’ll talk about that too), so let’s take a look at what we can do to live those sexually healthy lifestyles we’re always told about.

Be honest with yourself and your partner. Are you ready to be having sex? Have you thought about the possible long-term implications and responsibility that comes with being sexually active? The important answer here isn’t just whether it’s yes or no – but it’s that you stay true to whatever that answer is. If being sexually active isn’t in the cards for you at the moment, be honest about it, own it, and don’t ever do anything you don’t think you’re ready to do.

Get on birth control. If and when you decide you’re ready to get naked with another person, you must get yourself on some form of birth control. There is no excuse for not using protection, and unless you’re planning on having a child anytime soon, it’s best to get yourself on birth control stat. If, for some reason, being on hormonal birth control isn’t an option for you, check out responsible alternatives such as condoms (which you should be using with BC anyways), or IUDs. (Editor’s Note: Seriously, ask your doc about an IUD. It’s the best thing I ever did.) Read More »

Nothing makes me happier than seeing Leighton Meester’s (unbelievably beautiful) face on the cover of a magazine.   I mean, she’s not only one of the best-looking and most stylish (minus that whole weird, lacy jumpsuit debacle) people in Hollywood, she’s also one of the most underrated.  Homegirl was born in jail!  And if that wasn’t interesting enough, she plays one of the most fabulous characters on television right now, and any actress who can fill Blair Waldorf’s Louboutins so perfectly obviously deserves attention.

So I was pretty excited to see her on the cover of this month’s Seventeen – even though I knew that the article would spare us all the juicy, scandalous Gossip Girl-eque deets.  Unfortunately, it talked more about how Leighton loves baking cookies and less about where she finds the inspiration required to play such a crazy bitch so well….but I’ll take what I can get.

Luckily, the Seventeen editors saved the juice for other articles.  They actually talked about (gasp) SEX in this issue!  And STDs!  In case you didn’t know, in the land of Seventeen magazine, these two things go hand-in-hand, because if you have sex you WILL get an STD.  And die.

Also, if you ever drugs, you WILL become and addict (and die), a point that was reinforced again and again in an article about a girl who developed a crystal meth addiction thanks to a toxic roommate.

But, as usual, Seventeen also took a ride on the line between scandal and sweetness.  Just another article that touches on a risqué topic, presenting it in a way that will scare the sh!t out of especially naïve readers and by doing this, mold them into virtuous young ladies.  (Basically, if a typical Seventeen article was a TV show, it would be less 90210 and more Secret Life Of The American Teenager.) It was called “Guys’ Sexy Secrets Revealed” and it was definitely the best article of the month.

FYI – you should probably replace the word “best” with one of these choices: “hilarious” “absurd” or “ridiculous.” Read More »

I have spent 8 years (not continuously) with my mouth between a dude’s legs, and while I finally know that I’m good at it (one fine young man – whose name I do not know – exclaimed, “Wow! That was good!”), I still don’t love all the work is involved. It kills my jaw, my neck, and I’d rather let the guy handle things on his own than risk lock jaw on a sweaty appendage.

And do I get paid back? Not often. Lots of guys I know and have “interacted” with really aren’t into making the trip downtown on a lady. “It’s so hard!” they say. “You don’t know what we’re dealing with down there!”

Um, excuse me? They think they have it hard (pun totes not intended)?

I decided to take this issue on myself with my favorite IMing male to see if we could work through our problems and come to some sort of truce for men and women everywhere. Will this entice more men to venture South? We can only hope. Read More »

Uh...what's with Ashley's lazy eye??

Sometimes Cosmo really just makes me angry. Not that I’m going to stop reading it, mind you, but mad enough to sigh as I flip through the same ish month after month. Every article inside Cosmo is as predictable as the results of a spelling bee between Mark Zuckerburg and Paris Hilton.  I know a Cosmo mag better than I know the recipe for Velveeta.  And well, that’s embarrassing for me to admit.

First, Cosmo always states the obvious. This month’s Duuuuuh story? The ‘Stud Meter.’  Oh really? David Beckham in his tighty whities is hotter than Adam Sandler dressed in drag?  That’s totally insane, Cosmo! How could 8-pack abs beat guy-liner?

Next, the lady mag tells girls to use sex to keep their man from cheating, like in this issue’s ‘The Moment He’s Most Likely to Cheat.‘ Wait, so you mean to tell me the only way I’m going to keep my man from dipping it elsewhere is to always look hot, wake him up at 5 a.m. to do the hippity dippity, flirt with other guys, and constantly feed him ego-boosting compliments?  Anything else, Cosmo?  While I understand I should keep my man happy and restrain from getting a butch haircut, should I learn to do backflips from my spot in the kitchen while I’m making him a sandwich and give him an HJ after my third back hand spring?

Of course, there’s always Cosmo’s bat sh*t crazy theories, and ‘Pillow Talk,’ an article sharing your guy’s personality traits based on how he sleeps at night, easily fills that requirement.  First of all, these theories are somewhat creepy in that girl-just-got-off-the-crazy-train sorta way.  And second of all, I’m willing to believe the reason he’s “covering his head with the pillow” is because I’m running my mouth, wondering, “Does this mean you’re feeling guarded and need more space!? Do you even love me anymore?!”

Cosmo also always disposes a weird man-trait I really don’t care to know about (i.e. ‘The New Male Grooming Obsession’ – thanks for the poll about how men manscape their pee pee hair) and never ceases to freak me out with their dramatic and scary stories about my goodie goodie gum drops (i.e. ‘Are You Running Out of Time to Have a Baby?‘)  Seriously?  I’m running out of time to get to the movie store and scoop up a Toy Story 3 before they sell out.  Stop scaring me. Read More »

Dear Dude,

I have been dating my boyfriend for two months or so now. Unfortunately, he goes to another college and we don’t see each other as often as we would like. Neither of us dated in high school; neither of us has any experience with dating or sex. Recently, the time we do have together has been getting very sexual. He is a little bolder than I am (although always a gentleman) and the last time we saw each other things got a little out of hand. By the time I asked to slow down (which he did immediately), neither of us had clothes on.

He always touches me and makes me feel wonderful, and I want to return the favor–but I feel like if you’re going to go below the belt on a guy you should be prepared to finish the job. I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I’m certainly not ready to lose my virginity.

I care about him a lot. I want to respect his needs and wants without being selfish, but I don’t want to push myself into territory that I’m not ready for, either. I definitely don’t want to be a tease. He makes me happy. I just want him to be happy, too.

What do I do?
– Searching For Boundaries Read More »

I think too much.  And when it comes to turning over the sheets, my mind goes into over-drive.  In fact, I have been known to ruin an entire sexual experience by thinking too much about the position I’m in – my physical movements, how big my thighs look, trying to read his thoughts like an Edward Cullen girl hybrid.

I’ve been looking for a cure for my problem for months.  Why can’t I just relax, sit back, and enjoy? What can I possibly do to block the free-flowing thoughts and get into the moment?  I know there is nothing emotionally wrong with me; I’m a normal girl and just like every other girl out there, my mind is riddled with thoughts.  Mine just happen to reproduce like a cluster of horny bunny rabbits whenever I get nakie and start doing the nasty.

Luckily, there is always a solution to my problems!  And this time, altering my mind may have a little something to do in altering my position.

A little back story:
While hiding from the Black Friday crowds in an empty bookstore last week, a certain title caught my eye. And that title was “Spectacular Sex Moves He’ll Never Forget.” I ducked down in the aisle and began flipping through, intrigued by the yoga-turned-sex moves I discovered. That night, fueled by some leftover wine, my boyfriend and I tried one out. And it was a night neither of us will soon forget.

Since then, we’ve been toying around with many fun and interesting new sex positions (which I’m sure will be even more fun when we’re no longer crashing in my parents’ basement) and I have to say, my sex life will never be the same. If you’re like me and tend to stick with the more traditional approach to sex (“I lie, you do all the work”), take it from me: it’s time to crack a book and get a little more adventurous between the sheets.

Why? I’m glad you asked. Read More »