I never had a cell phone in high school. I guess I just wasn’t interested in being constantly plugged into the social web that was teenagerdom. It worked out pretty well for me, except for the fact that I missed out on all the juicy high school gossip as it happened. What I also managed to miss out on, though, was sexting – and I’m awfully glad I did.

It makes sense that in the age of information, fast internet, and viral videos, that eventually we horny humans would find a way to make all of these things sexual. I mean, why not text someone a picture of your boobs? Or record yourself having sex with your boyfriend? It’s not like there’s anything wrong with it if ­it stays between two people who love each other… right?

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The Grateful Dead are going on tour. Well, the ones still alive.

Man loses millions. Fakes his own death. Not very good at it.

Welcome to the world, Seraphina Garner Affleck!

Whitney Port shows a bit too much on the beach.

Even Blake Lively got teased in middle school.

Public Universities still providing jobs in crappy economy.

Colleges sink to new low to get even more of your money: snacks!

Someone in the White House is a sex offender?

If the sand and accents weren’t enough, here is another reason I’m moving to Australia.

Security is getting tight for the big Inauguration.

Thanksgiving is almost here and I know what I’m thankful for this year: an excuse not to have to answer to any guy’s begging/pleading/ not-so-discreet attempts to push me downtown for a little oral action! (What? I really just don’t enjoy it…and it is a lot of freaking work!)

“Sorry, dude. I don’t want to get evicted.”

Ok, so it’s not a perfect excuse, but it’s something. Especially if the dude is younger than you…and also considered a minor.

That’s exactly what has happened to Wendy Whitaker. According to reports, the state of Georgia considers Whitaker a sex offender (and charged the woman with sodomy!) for performing a little somethin’ somethin’ on her then 16 year old boyfriend. When she was 17.

Oh yeah. This was 10 years ago!

The state is forcing her and her husband from their home because it just so happens to be near a school, which is illegal for registered sex offenders. Not only that, but they have set the eviction date for Thanksgiving. Such kind people.

Whitaker has attempted to appeal this ruling, but things aren’t looking good. The woman just can’t catch a break. Here’s hoping someone down there in Georgia puts their head on straight and realizes just how effed up this whole thing really is.

Until then…I’m anti-oral. I just can’t take any chances!