Summer time is here and romance is in the air.  Beachy hair, tan skin, and cute boys are the perfect combo getting everyone in the mood for some love and lust.  So what better way to take advantage of the good weather, spice up the sex life, and get down and dirty (literally) than to take it outside?

Gettin’ naughty a pool, hot tub, or on the beach has been a popular fantasy since Adam gave it to Eve in the Garden of Eden. But maybe it’s not such a good idea. Studies show that this seemingly adventurous act may not be worth the risks, after all.

Condoms + Water = Bad
Thanks to the chemicals used in swimming pools and hot tubs, condoms can be totally ineffective. They can rupture and deteriorate from the heat and chlorine, not to mention slip right off because of the water.  And yes, your chances of getting pregnant in the water are the same, so don’t think you can just skip using the latex this time.

Beach + Sex = Badder
A study published in the Environmental Science and Technology Journal found that there are some dangerous microbes in that luxurious beach sand.  Also, 91% of the beaches in the study had detectable levels of enterococco (bacteria that can cause UTI’s, endocarditis, diverictulitis and meningitis).  I don’t even know what half of those are, but they sure don’t sound good.

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Whew! What a year, right? We saw it all: Britney’s bald head, governors getting it on with prostitutes, a new Facebook, the collapse of Wall Street, the rise and fall of Sarah Palin, a horrifying plane crash that killed some and spared others, the election of our first black president (!!), lots of young mommies, and a whole lot more that I drank too much to remember.

Things were busy over here, too. We discovered the guys not worth holding onto, and the perfect vibrator that is. We began to understand why crazy sex positions are totally worth it, and why sex on the beach is a must-do for 2009.

We found a totally hot new band that will change the way you think about music, learned the 14 truths about men, and laughed with the funniest ladies out there.

We found out that guys get Brazilians (?), argued the merit of leggings, and filled our entire closet with new clothes….for free!

We took our first trip to the gyno, learned a ton of new euphemisms for sex, and sought out some not-so-obvious places to meet a man. We looked back at our favorite things from middle school.

We hated/loved Facebook.

And we dipped our toes in the Cougar pool.

2008 was a good year. Here’s hoping 2009 can be as much fun (both in the bedroom and out of it).

Ahhh – the romantic sex on the beach, or steamy encounter in the office bathroom. The stuff of romance novels and erotica everywhere. Personally, the beach was never my thing – too much sand (and it gets EVERYWHERE) – but the office bathroom isn’t too bad for a quick romp.

Sex in public places – yes, please!

There’s a certain amount of danger and excitement in sex in a public place that makes the original thrill of bumping uglies just that much better. It’s everyone’s fantasy isn’t it? Titillating and only steps away from being a scandal. Sure it’s awkward and not really as hot as they make it seem on TV, but still worth the while.

For me, it’s never been a planned operation; it’s not like me and my menfolk were passing notes on secret meeting places and which skirt I would wear (because skirts are a must for quick sex in a public place). It was just something that happened – he was horny, I was horny, and, apparently, we were both feeling a little adventurous.

There’s no real formula to sex in public places; you just do it. If you’re smart, you do it quietly, because there are people out there and they can hear you (no, rows at the movie theatre do not have a magical sound barrier between them). And you do it quickly, because the trip on the elevator might not be long enough otherwise. Read More »

They’re trooping off to the polls in the biting November chill, snug in their Uggs and North Faces zipped to the collars. They’re waking up too early and standing around in long lines for something that isn’t free food. They’re American college students, and they are voting.

Smell that? That’s the smell of freedom. Also, American college students don’t shower much.

Are you with them – or are you against them? Political nihilists beware: the jaded, “The-electoral-college-it’s-a-broken-system-f**k-I’m-moving-to-the-Moon” attitude won’t get you anywhere this year, because cynicism is out and passion is in! If it’s such a big stick up your ass, go vote for Bob Barr or something. If he’s not on the ballot, write-in “John from College Candy.” But please, do go and vote.

And what about this evening? You probably don’t have anything important to do while you watch poll results stream in, and “Nation’s First Black President” or “Nation’s First Woman Vice President” are both perfectly acceptable reasons to skip all your classes tomorrow. This means you should drink! Read More »

There are famous scenes from movies depicting it. There are Facebook bumper stickers dedicated to it. There are songs that shout the praises of it. There are how to articles and, hell, it even has search results on Wikipedia. Yet for the entirety of my life, the closest I’d come to Sex on the Beach was double fisting them on Friday nights. This had to change.

With the advent of summer upon us, I decided it was high time I was no longer a sex on the beach virgin. I grabbed my manfriend (chuckle chuckle, Carrie Bradshaw) and headed to the shore.

It was a perfect night for just being at the beach, let alone hooking up. Full moon, light breeze and crashing waves. Very romance novel. So boyfriend and I wandered along the beach until we found a secluded(ish) spot.

When we got there, however, I found that I could have done with some good advice before embarking on this adventure. So for all you beach bunny virgins out there contemplating some sea-side action, here is what I wish my experienced girlfriends had told me:

Bring a Flashlight: Luckily for us, the moon was enormous and lit our way pretty well. I happen to be completely blind in the smallest amount of darkness, though, and was petrified of stepping on baby sea turtles. If it’s even semi-cloudy out, a small light should help you navigate. Read More »

Q: I want to try having sex on the beach this summer. What should I keep in mind?

A: Sex on the beach. It’s the ultimate cliche of sexual fantasies for hopeless romantics everywhere, usually triggered by a movie scene complete with soft lighting and background music. For me, it was Chris Isaak that did it. Specifically, the sexy black-and-white video for his song, “Wicked Game,” featuring soft sand, crashing waves, and leggy supermodel Helena Christensen.

In reality, beach sex rarely includes a soundtrack, and a leggy supermodel is even harder to find. Instead you’re left with wind carrying sand into your eyes and wet particles creeping into your crevices. In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that I’ve never actually had sex on a beach. I’m all for trying new things, but it never seemed to be worth the hassle or the worry that I would spend the next three months washing sand out of my crotch.

An informal survey of my friends only served to confirm what I already thought about beach sex — it’s overrated. Those that have dared to bare all and get busy shoreside agree that the reality doesn’t live up to the fantasy. Before I came along, my boyfriend’s attempt came to a screeching halt when he got his hand wet and then placed it in the sand, rendering it useless. Read More »