Page Six reports that Katee, an 18-year-old student and self-proclaimed virgin at the Fashion Institute of Design in Orange County, California, wrote a letter to Shy Love, the owner of Adult Talent Managers, asking for her first sexual experience to be filmed, using the last name “Holmes” – in honor of the ex-Dawson’s star herself.

Katee explained her brilliant idea by saying, “I know it’s pretty extreme to lose my virginity on camera, but I like the fulfillment and excitement I get from watching porn, so I figured [a movie] was the best place for me to lose it….How many people wished they could relive their first experience, if not to remember it but to learn from it, right?”

Needless to say, the real Katie Holmes is not flattered.

Her people (and by “her people” I mean Tom Cruise) will undoubtedly try to stop the madness before it actually happens. Apparently, that was all Top Gun has his woman on lock-down.

So when Page Six says, “A spokeswoman for Cruise said, ‘Obviously, Tom would support Katie in anything she decides to do about it,’” I don’t believe it.

The thing is, before Katie Holmes was Mrs. Cruise, she tried to break out of her goody-two-shoes persona by going topless in the 2000 movie The Gift. And remember the sex scene that was cut from Katie’s appearance in Thank You For Smoking? That was all his doing. And now, he’s apparently all over the set of her new movie, watching her like a hawk. Creepy.

This is what I think. I think Tom Cruise is insane. I think that the old Katie Holmes we all loved as Joey Potter – overalls, sweaters and all – would have secretly loved this kind of attention before he snagged her up, because it would have given her an even greater sense of edginess and controversy. This phase certainly didn’t last long after meeting Tom. And that phase was hot!

I think Katee Holmes is just a girl crying for attention, because her clothing designs probably suck, and instead of sending her “idol” Katie a nice, tasteful letter explaining how much she enjoys and appreciates her work like a normal fan, she figures, why not take her last name and shoot some porn to celebrate the death of her virginity? Good times.

But Katie is not the first celebrity to have her identity copied in the name of porn. Mariah Carey’s got one. Tyra Banks’ got one.

I actually think this could be a career booster for Katie Holmes, and we all know she could use one. After all, you just ain’t hot if you ain’t got a porn star having sex in your honor.