So as I spent another long summer day mourning the loss of LC from my biggest guilty pleasure (yeah, I’m still not over it), a promo for a new MTV show, House of Jazmin, caught my eye. I don’t really get the spelling of her name, but Jaz is young, cute, and bound to have messy, dramatic hookups every week…

It’s no LC, but can Jazmin be the new reality superstar sent to fill the void The Hills has left in my heart?

Maybe we should first establish the fact that no one will ever be able to fill the very chic shoes of Lauren Conrad. As a reality star, she was God. Not too much of a pushover, but not too catty. A serial dater, providing endless opportunities for me to indulge my monogamous self in first date after first date with sexy, California men. And she chose perfect friends, as they gave her loyal friendship for just long enough to have me invested in the relationship… before completely betraying her and shattering both of our hearts.

I think you get the picture; I was basically living an imaginary life as Lauren Conrad’s best friend. (Cry during the Audrina/ LC fight scene with mascara tears…me? Noooo…) Read More »

Dane Cook burns Vanessa Hudgens.

How to handle your sex-tape dramz.

Leonardo DiCaprio loves the models.

Would you put the moves on your friend’s ex?

At last! Golden Girls cocktails!

Do “Ecstasy Condoms” live up to the name?

Forget high waisted skirts and thigh-high boots. The latest celebrity trends these days are sex tapes and nude photos.

Obviously no one learned their lesson from Paris Hilton (or Kim Kardashian, Leighton Meester, Screech, etc…). and clearly Vanessa Hudgens’ nude body all over the internet didn’t quite send the don’t-take-nude-pictures message either, because twilight star Ashley Greene has some not-so-PG photos circulating the world wide web.

And I just. don’t. get it.

How many people need to have their tatas posted on TMZ and passed around from blog to blog to news channel for the young stars in Hollywood to get the message? It’s like these girls secretly want their pictures all over the internet; like maybe they think it will help their career or publicize an upcoming film (real film, not porny film). If that’s the case, I’m pretty sure New Moon was going to do just fine without Ash’s nude photos, and I highly doubt this tween star’s career is going to benefit from her vajay being splashed all over the web. Read More »

"Bring that camera over here, mistress. Rarrr."

We’ve long known that celebrities do stupid stuff.  Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton (does she count as a celebrity?) and countless others entertain us with their amusing and slightly horrifying behavior.  However, they’re not the only ones who like to get drunk and go a little crazy.  No, no my friends – the political arena is where all the craziest stuff happens.

This worries me slightly.  Why are our elected officials giving Pamela Anderson a run for her money?  Perhaps if you are in public office, you should learn to keep your partying on the D-L (and maybe your dick in your pants).  Of course, just because you’re an elected official doesn’t mean that you have to live the life of a monk, but maybe not signing up for that prostitution club would be a good idea.

Here’s a list of some of the stupidest politicians in recent years. Let’s hope the public humiliation provided by the 24-hour news cycle of the obsessed American press will deter them from making any more stupid choices. (Editor’s Note: You are not invincible, leaders of America!) And if not, maybe it’s time we, the American people, start choosing our leaders more wisely (i.e. more women). Read More »

On Fridays I get out of work about the same time that school lets out for younger students. My subway ride home is filled with kids of all different ages, shapes, sizes and races who remarkably all look exactly the same. Every single Friday, I can find at least one girl rocking a Miley backpack, some leggings and lots and lots of lip gloss.

It’s a comforting constant in my life, much like passing a Starbucks on every corner or finding an episode of Sex and the City on at any time of night. I’ve come to expect it, even enjoy the high pitched squeals, sickeningly sweet smell of body spray, and live rendition of “See You Again.” But after catching a clip of Sean Hannity praising Kim Kardashian for her role model status in young girls’ lives, I started thinking about the idea of celebrities as role models.

I was left with a lot of questions, the most obvious being: does the fact that Kim Kardashian isn’t a hot drunken mess like the rest of young Hollywood really make her a role model? I mean, has Sean Hannity seen the sex tape that made her famous? And what does she do exactly that young girls should look up to? Her reality show? Her curvy body?

It took me a few moments (and a couple shots of whiskey) to get past the idea of  Sean Hannity doing “research” in front of his laptop in a dark room at midnight, and once I did I still had no idea what to think. The whole celebrity-as-role-model thing has me totally torn up.

On the one hand, my biggest fear may soon be realized: a generation of Mini Mileys all grown up. Slim girls in blond wigs walking around chomping on gum and talking with a Southern twang. It’s an image that haunts my dreams. Read More »

Today is Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday. That means the stock exchange is closed, which also means that the economy can’t crash for 2 whole days! Wahoo! Grab you’re your favorite snacks (fat is in!) and celebrate!

That is the best news we’ve heard all week, but that isn’t saying much after the week we’ve had:

Gay rights activists get locked out of a campus, a**holes continued to break girls’ hearts, celebs got all cocky on us, Joe Six Pack made an appearance, the presidential candidates “debated,” we had to watch Rachael Ray porn, Bubba had some transgender issues, our boyfriend posted that (PRIVATE) sex tape online, and I missed out on a fantastic opportunity to get with my campus’s most notorious man-whore.

But don’t worry; Barack Obama can make it all better! (No, that was not a political statement…that was a sexual one.)

Happy Friday, peeps.

Being a celebrity no doubt makes otherwise normal people completely effing insane. All those flashbulbs, all that attention, adoring fans throwing themselves at your feet (and towards your bed)…it’s no wonder so many famous people have egos to the size of their bank accounts.

Ego and rock’n'roll usually go hand in hand, but there are certain artists who defy expectations in the douchebag department. Certain rockers who just can’t keep their mouths shut — whether there’s a stage mic or a report’s mic in front of them. Certain dudes who make our top 5 Cockiest Rocker Dbags.

5) Noel Gallagher

Remember this douche? Yah. Not many people do. For some reason Oasis is still making music, but the only thing we ever heard when we looked at them were the words “ugly” and “all-our-songs-sound-the-same” Read More »

I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Did your roommate leave dirty dishes all over your kitchen? Did your 8 am professor ‘forget’ to tell you class was cancelled? Did some girl on her cell with bad high-lights and tacky bumper stickers that say “angel” and other clever things cut you off today? Let it all hang out. I feel you. Read More »

I did not go to a rough and tough urban school where knife fights happened daily and teachers getting punched were regular occurrences.  I did not go to a high school where metal detectors were needed, where kids sold drugs in every corner, or even where hall passes mattered.  My high school was in rural New England — and still, if Adnan Ghalib had tried to walk through the front door looking, talking, and acting like he is today, his ass would get such a beat down there’d be nothing left but that sick little landing strip on his chin.

First of all, even though my public high school was brimming with middle to upper class white kids, even middle to upper class white kids know that certain fashion decisions are worthy of an ass kicking; tight shirts with silk-screened skulls paired with multiple cross necklaces, random newsboy caps, giant sunglasses worn inside, and LANDING STRIPS ON ONE’S FACE are just a few of the things that Adnan wears with wild abandon that would surely mean his demise at my high school.

Secondly, carrying around an obvious pompous assh*le jerk vibe has been known to get certain idividuals thown into dumpters.  Very rarely, an obvious assh*ole jerk would climb the ranks and become a popular assh*ole jerk, but most of the time, Upperclassmen didn’t take too kindly to douchebags who walked around like they owned the place. I knew a kid Sophomore year who tried to hit on a Senior’s girlfriend (even though it was front page school news the senior was dating this chick) and that kid ended up taped to the flagpole — overnight. Read More »

Another week has come and gone. And so has the summer. Tear.

This week we put our white pants back in the closet, returned to the lecture hall and answered the questions on everyone’s minds:

Who would be better candidates for VP?

Who would we never wanna see in a sex tape?

Should we fart in front of our bf?

Which fall shows should we be excited for?

Should we ever consider sex without a condom?

Is hooking up with the hottie prof worth it?

Can the new 90210 really match up to the old one? (Not even close.)

What kind of germs did that dude leave in our sheets?

What do we need to have when we hit the party scene?

Why do we insist that we can still drink like we are in college?

Do guys really care about our sexual history?

Is there an alternative to yucky beer?

And, the most important question of all:

Who’s hotter?