Sex tapes, everybody has one! Well, maybe not, but sometimes it sure seems that way. Another day, another announcement about a potential celebrity sex tape. And by “celebrity,” I mean random D-lister that you sorta forgot about. Until they had a sex tape.

It’s always tough to tell whether these celebs are victims, or whether they’re following the Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton get-famous-from-having-your-sex-tape-”leaked” scheme.

So who might we be able to expect the next celeb sex tape from? I’ll give you a hint: think yellow spandex and reality TV. That’s right, it’s Hulk Hogan. Apparently, a mysterious “someone” is shopping around a Hulk Hogan sex tape to major porn companies. And I have something I’d like to say to those companies: please, please no. The world does not need a Hulk Hogan sex tape. The thought makes me cringe. So, to cheer myself up, I’ve made a list of things that are worse than a Hulk Hogan sex tape. Here they are. Read More »

Imagine if your most intimate moments were streamed live for your classmates without your consent. What’s the punishment for such an invasion of privacy, especially if it revealed your secret sexual orientation and drove you to jump off the George Washington Bridge? Rest in peace, Tyler Clementi. Your former roommate is currently on trial, and he’ll get what he deserves.

The question is, what sentence is appropriate for someone who says he’s not responsible for another person’s suicide? And what if he says he can prove it too?

Back in October 2010, 18-year-old Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi committed suicide after his roommate, Dharun Ravi, set up a webcam in their room and streamed “sexual encounters” between Clementi and his partner. A couple nights later, Ravi shared the live stream links via Twitter so others can join in on the event, categorizing his actions as a cyber anti-gay hate crime. Clementi jumped off the George Washington Bridge — the third teen suicide that month that was related to bullying. Read More »

Have you heard about the sex swing mishap on this season of “Khloe & Lamar”? For those who don’t know, Khloe sets up a “sex swing” for herself and hubby Lamar to use. And then proceeds to fall out of it as they’re about to use it. But how do I know this, you ask? I couldn’t possibly have seen them try to use a sex swing in the privacy of their own bedroom, you say. Um, wrong. Because there is a camera in the bedroom. Complete with night vision. It’s like Kim’s sex tape, but higher quality! And with amateur acrobatics!

And the weirdness doesn’t end there. After her sex swing fail (Side note: are sex swings a thing now?), Khloe converts a spare bedroom into a “sex chamber of love.” And Lamar is so not into it. He totally shoots her down. But then he motorboats her. Uh, consolation prize? Yeah, I’m just as confused as you are.

The Kardashians have become serious over-sharers. I mean, I know that they built their empire on over-sharing, but still. Cameras in the bedroom? That’s just tacky. Not to mention shameless. We don’t need to see that.

I have a feeling this isn’t the last we’re going to see of Khloe and Lamar’s bedroom antics. Their sex life seems to be a big theme for the upcoming season. Here are a few more really awkward things we can expect from Khloe and Lamar over the next few weeks. Read More »

Dear Celebrities who Haven’t Released a Sex Tape,

Thank you very much for not doing that. I know some of you have probably made one or several sex tapes with your husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends and wives, and I respect the fact that you have chosen not to release these tapes and make money off of them. Maybe you want to keep your private live private, or maybe you don’t want people saying you’re “that actress with a sex tape.” Whatever the reason, you will always be able to say your movies are available on Netflix instead of in a porn store.

If you’re a celeb that isn’t as famous as you used to be, and you have a sex tape you haven’t released, I (and the rest of the world) respect and admire that decision. Taking a look a popular culture, you’ll find that many not famous/somewhat famous people became REALLY famous after releasing a sex tape. One of them has a WHOLE FAMILY that’s famous just because the middle sister chose to film and sell a sex tape with someone whose name rhymes with Ray J.

And now I would like to thank one certain celeb who was famous for about two seconds, and isn’t famous at all anymore. People have uncovered a sex tape or two of hers, and she is trying hard to make sure they aren’t released. You should thank this lady too. 

Love,

Jessica

Jessica Zaleski is a senior at the University of Florida, and she has never made a sex tape. 

Looks like guys shouldn’t drunk dial either

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Wow. This is a big fact.

I am sure a little part of all of us wanted to be famous at one point in our lives.  A little piece of my heart wants to sing on ‘American Idol,’ design a dress for an Olympian figure skater (kudos, Vera Wang), or get insulted by Kanye West on live television.  Whichever way you put it, being famous does not seem that bad…but the getting there is tough.  Unless you are Justin Bieber whose ‘getting there’ involved a YouTube video and a cute haircut. Needless to say, I am impressed.

But besides YouTube, there are other ways you can become famous in lightning bolt fashion. If you long to walk red carpets, get chased by paparazzi and rub elbows with Hollywood’s A-listers, take a little advice from these fameballs on how to get real famous, real fast.

Get Fat (Kirsti Alley, Kevin Federline)
It’s been a long time since the woman who found fame on Cheers and later stole my heart in Look Who’s Talking (one of my favorite adolescent movies out there) was the topic of pop culture conversation. That is until she got fat. Then skinny. Then graced the tabloid covers once again grasping a donut and looking into the camera lens with 10 double chins. And now Kirstie’s showing up on Oprah, starting her own weight loss line (??) and starring in, Kirstie Alley’s Big Life, a reality show about her quest to lose weight. Again. Read More »

I never had a cell phone in high school. I guess I just wasn’t interested in being constantly plugged into the social web that was teenagerdom. It worked out pretty well for me, except for the fact that I missed out on all the juicy high school gossip as it happened. What I also managed to miss out on, though, was sexting – and I’m awfully glad I did.

It makes sense that in the age of information, fast internet, and viral videos, that eventually we horny humans would find a way to make all of these things sexual. I mean, why not text someone a picture of your boobs? Or record yourself having sex with your boyfriend? It’s not like there’s anything wrong with it if ­it stays between two people who love each other… right?

Read More »

Meet Taylor Momsen, hooker assassin/charming sixteen-year-old who recently shared this insightful tidbit of information about herself:

“If it’s a good sex tape, I’ll watch it … I like some adult stars. I have a couple favorites. But I will say this: That Tommy Lee/Pamela Anderson video wasn’t very good. I wouldn’t f**k Tommy Lee.”

I blame Britney Spears.

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The Kardashians invade QVC.

Apparently everyone wants to make a sex tape.

Wait, that’s a real competition?

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