Sex tapes, everybody has one! Well, maybe not, but sometimes it sure seems that way. Another day, another announcement about a potential celebrity sex tape. And by “celebrity,” I mean random D-lister that you sorta forgot about. Until they had a sex tape.

It’s always tough to tell whether these celebs are victims, or whether they’re following the Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton get-famous-from-having-your-sex-tape-”leaked” scheme.

So who might we be able to expect the next celeb sex tape from? I’ll give you a hint: think yellow spandex and reality TV. That’s right, it’s Hulk Hogan. Apparently, a mysterious “someone” is shopping around a Hulk Hogan sex tape to major porn companies. And I have something I’d like to say to those companies: please, please no. The world does not need a Hulk Hogan sex tape. The thought makes me cringe. So, to cheer myself up, I’ve made a list of things that are worse than a Hulk Hogan sex tape. Here they are.

initiating the gallery...

[Lead image via Cheryl Ann Quigley/Shutterstock]

Imagine if your most intimate moments were streamed live for your classmates without your consent. What’s the punishment for such an invasion of privacy, especially if it revealed your secret sexual orientation and drove you to jump off the George Washington Bridge? Rest in peace, Tyler Clementi. Your former roommate is currently on trial, and he’ll get what he deserves.

The question is, what sentence is appropriate for someone who says he’s not responsible for another person’s suicide? And what if he says he can prove it too?

Back in October 2010, 18-year-old Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi committed suicide after his roommate, Dharun Ravi, set up a webcam in their room and streamed “sexual encounters” between Clementi and his partner. A couple nights later, Ravi shared the live stream links via Twitter so others can join in on the event, categorizing his actions as a cyber anti-gay hate crime. Clementi jumped off the George Washington Bridge — the third teen suicide that month that was related to bullying.

Ravi’s trial began last week with jury selection. Julia McClure, the first assistant prosecutor for Middlesex County, told the jury in her opening statement:

“It was not an accident, not a mistake. Those acts were meant to cross one of the most sacred boundaries of human privacy — engaging in private sexual human activity…[his actions] were planned to expose Tyler Clementi’s sexual orientation, and they were planned to expose Tyler Clementi’s private sexual activity.”

Clementi’s roommate faces charges for invasion of privacy, hindering apprehension and tampering with a witness and evidence. He is also charged with two counts of bias intimidation — a hate crime that carries added penalties of up to 10 years in prison. He has rejected a plea deal because he insists that he is innocent of any crime at all!

Now before you jump to the obvious conclusions, Ravi’s defense claims that his actions did not come from a place of hate in regards to Clementi’s sexual orientation; the roommate says he is comfortable with homosexuality and sent an apologetic message to Clementi before he committed suicide. The defense is also questioning whether Clementi was actually outed by Ravi’s acts by arguing that Clementi told relatives that he was gay and that Ravi learned of his roommate’s sexual orientation through an online search. Ravi’s lawyer opened with the following statement:

“We do stupid things, we make mistakes, especially when we’re young — it doesn’t mean we’re hateful, we’re bigoted or we’re criminal. In fact, Dharun never intimidated anyone. He never committed a crime, he never committed a hateful crime. He’s not homophobic. He’s not anti-gay.”

So if the decision to repeatedly capture your roommate in a tryst with another man wasn’t rooted from a hateful place, then what the heck inspired such an idea? A good laugh? A curious attitude? And in all seriousness and for the sake of the Hot Button Issue of the Week, I ask this: even if it wasn’t Ravi’s intention to bully Clementi in any way, should he still be punished because his actions led to another person’s death?

Other technicalities are also up for debate: if a live stream can be considered a “broadcast,” if the most damaging testimony by Ravi’s accomplice is valid because he lied to the police during an initial questioning, if the current legislature can even issue a punishment for cyber bullying or hate crime of this nature. Clementi also approached his RA and requested a room switch after Ravi violated his privacy. More and more details are now surfacing (you can follow the trial at NYDailyNews.com), and a verdict will be reached in the coming weeks.

Should Ravi be held accountable for all that’s charged against him because Clementi is now gone? Or are his actions being held to an impossible standard because Clementi is now gone? Where do you stand?

Ashley is a UC San Diego grad who is holding on way too tightly to a potential career in magazines and goes to Vegas all too often. She’s fascinated with celebrities and strawberry beer and doubles as a pathological texter/emailer/blogger. Feed the addiction with tweets @cashleelee. Thanks in advance.

Have you heard about the sex swing mishap on this season of “Khloe & Lamar”? For those who don’t know, Khloe sets up a “sex swing” for herself and hubby Lamar to use. And then proceeds to fall out of it as they’re about to use it. But how do I know this, you ask? I couldn’t possibly have seen them try to use a sex swing in the privacy of their own bedroom, you say. Um, wrong. Because there is a camera in the bedroom. Complete with night vision. It’s like Kim’s sex tape, but higher quality! And with amateur acrobatics!

And the weirdness doesn’t end there. After her sex swing fail (Side note: are sex swings a thing now?), Khloe converts a spare bedroom into a “sex chamber of love.” And Lamar is so not into it. He totally shoots her down. But then he motorboats her. Uh, consolation prize? Yeah, I’m just as confused as you are.

The Kardashians have become serious over-sharers. I mean, I know that they built their empire on over-sharing, but still. Cameras in the bedroom? That’s just tacky. Not to mention shameless. We don’t need to see that.

I have a feeling this isn’t the last we’re going to see of Khloe and Lamar’s bedroom antics. Their sex life seems to be a big theme for the upcoming season. Here are a few more really awkward things we can expect from Khloe and Lamar over the next few weeks.

initiating the gallery...

Garnet is a student at Columbia University in New York City. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Follow her on Twitter @garnethenderson.

[Lead image via Featureflash/Shutterstock]

Dear Celebrities who Haven’t Released a Sex Tape,

Thank you very much for not doing that. I know some of you have probably made one or several sex tapes with your husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends and wives, and I respect the fact that you have chosen not to release these tapes and make money off of them. Maybe you want to keep your private live private, or maybe you don’t want people saying you’re “that actress with a sex tape.” Whatever the reason, you will always be able to say your movies are available on Netflix instead of in a porn store.

If you’re a celeb that isn’t as famous as you used to be, and you have a sex tape you haven’t released, I (and the rest of the world) respect and admire that decision. Taking a look a popular culture, you’ll find that many not famous/somewhat famous people became REALLY famous after releasing a sex tape. One of them has a WHOLE FAMILY that’s famous just because the middle sister chose to film and sell a sex tape with someone whose name rhymes with Ray J.

And now I would like to thank one certain celeb who was famous for about two seconds, and isn’t famous at all anymore. People have uncovered a sex tape or two of hers, and she is trying hard to make sure they aren’t released. You should thank this lady too. 

Love,

Jessica

Jessica Zaleski is a senior at the University of Florida, and she has never made a sex tape. 

Looks like guys shouldn’t drunk dial either

Aren’t we over sex tapes by now?

To send…or not to send

Share your awkward sex story and win a prize!

Is this shoe too intense to call a sandal?

Meet some stars with high IQs

Guess the celeb tattoo

11 characters who are bringing their show down

Wow. This is a big fact.

I am sure a little part of all of us wanted to be famous at one point in our lives.  A little piece of my heart wants to sing on ‘American Idol,’ design a dress for an Olympian figure skater (kudos, Vera Wang), or get insulted by Kanye West on live television.  Whichever way you put it, being famous does not seem that bad…but the getting there is tough.  Unless you are Justin Bieber whose ‘getting there’ involved a YouTube video and a cute haircut. Needless to say, I am impressed.

But besides YouTube, there are other ways you can become famous in lightning bolt fashion. If you long to walk red carpets, get chased by paparazzi and rub elbows with Hollywood’s A-listers, take a little advice from these fameballs on how to get real famous, real fast.

Get Fat (Kirsti Alley, Kevin Federline)
It’s been a long time since the woman who found fame on Cheers and later stole my heart in Look Who’s Talking (one of my favorite adolescent movies out there) was the topic of pop culture conversation. That is until she got fat. Then skinny. Then graced the tabloid covers once again grasping a donut and looking into the camera lens with 10 double chins. And now Kirstie’s showing up on Oprah, starting her own weight loss line (??) and starring in, Kirstie Alley’s Big Life, a reality show about her quest to lose weight. Again.

Sex Tape (Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, etc.)
If I have learned anything about Hollywood it is that a sex tape is worth more than a little extra passion with your boy toy. It’s the easiest, fastest and most fun way to rise to the top of the fame scale. Just look at Kim Kardashian. One day she’s getting down and dirty with Ray J and now she’s on the cover of nearly every magazine, has a TV show, a perfume, a clothing line, millions of dollars in endorsement deals and even gets paid to Tweet.

Sleep with the biggest d-bag in America (Heidi Montag, 15 Tiger Woods Mistresses, Jessica Simpson)
…Or marrying the biggest D-bag in America works too (in Kate Gosselin and Heidi Montag’s case). Regardless, sleeping with super big douche bags has clearly secured many a spot in US Weekly week after week after week. In addition to TV deals (Rachel Uchitel scored a reporting gig on “Extra!”), book deals (do we even have to mention that “book” Speidi wrote?), and an advice column (Ashley Dupre).

Have 100 kids (Kate Gosselin, OctoMom)
If you want to be famous, pop out a small litter. These women did, and now we can’t turn on the TV or read a magazine without seeing their post-baby bodies. Kate Gosselin had her own reality show on TLC, wrote multiple books, and even Danced with the Stars, which, obviously, means she is one. And Octomom? Nadya Suleman has been on the cover of People, appeared on NBC with Ann Curry and Dr. Phil, and even had her own two-hour special on Fox. Thankfully she turned down the offers to star in porn.

Be a good singer…who happens to be really ugly (Susan Boyle)
There are millions of good singers out there, so if you really want to make it you gotta set yourself apart. The easiest way? Look like Mrs. Doubtfire. It worked for Susan Boyle, who went from homely old British lady to having the best selling album in the world in 2009.

Two words: fist pump (Cast of Jersey Shore)
Want to go to the Grammys and get paid to party? All you gotta do is play up some stereotypes, spend your days tanning/doing your hair and you’ll be a millionaire in no time.

Say something REALLY stupid (Caitlin Upton)
“Uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and I believe that they should…” Yeah, we laughed (and cried a little bit) then, but Caitlin Upton is laughing all the way to the bank now. Since that infamous day, Caitlin has appeared at MTV’s VMAs, been on TLC’s King of the Crown, and competed with her boyfriend on The Amazing Race. [Editor's Note: She even got an interview with our hero, Chelsea Handler. Sigh.]

Be an incredible actress plucked from obscurity (Gabby Sidibe)
Obviously not as easy as the others, but there is still a little integrity left in finding fame and if anyone proves that it’s Gabby Sidibe. This incredibly talented woman made her debut on 2009′s Precious and was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress. My hat is off to you, Gabby.

[This story was originally posted by Brittany - University of Saint Thomas]

Likey? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

I never had a cell phone in high school. I guess I just wasn’t interested in being constantly plugged into the social web that was teenagerdom. It worked out pretty well for me, except for the fact that I missed out on all the juicy high school gossip as it happened. What I also managed to miss out on, though, was sexting – and I’m awfully glad I did.

It makes sense that in the age of information, fast internet, and viral videos, that eventually we horny humans would find a way to make all of these things sexual. I mean, why not text someone a picture of your boobs? Or record yourself having sex with your boyfriend? It’s not like there’s anything wrong with it if ­it stays between two people who love each other… right?

Well, turns out it’s not that simple, especially if you’re underage. I know, I know, it’s “College” Candy, but I’m sure there’s some high schoolers that stumbled up in here looking for some raunchy sex information, and this is a pretty important thing to be aware of. Sending pornographic pictures of yourself when you are still classified as a “child” (ie. Under 16 or 18, depending on where you live), means you could be charged with distributing child pornography and put on the sex offender list, even if it’s consensual. Doesn’t seem so worth it, does it?

Look, I get it. It’s exciting to take sexy pictures, or make sexy videos, but here’s something to think about: no one (underage or of age!) wants to think that the people the pictures have been sent to are so untrustworthy that they would share them – but what if by a fluke the pictures get out? What if someone finds their phone, and spreads the pictures around without even knowing who you are? Doesn’t sound like a very good situation.

And if those pictures/videos get out? Well, expect to be the talk of your school/community for a while. Yes, eventually the talk will die down – but it’s going to take a long time to get your reputation back.

I realize these things are tempting, and it’s not my job to talk you out of it, but hear me out for a second – if you are going to do this, don’t text and don’t e-mail. Virtual things last forever. If this is something you really want to do – something you really want to go through with – do it all live. Make the video, watch the video, delete. Or take the pictures, look at the pictures, delete. It’s just not worth it to have these things out there forever – as right or wrong as society’s perception of these things are, it is what it is. Be cautious.

Do you have any experience with raunchy pictures/videos? Have you or someone you know ever faced consequences from sexting, or making videos?

Want more Sexy Time? (Who doesn’t?) Get some. Right here.

Meet Taylor Momsen, hooker assassin/charming sixteen-year-old who recently shared this insightful tidbit of information about herself:

“If it’s a good sex tape, I’ll watch it … I like some adult stars. I have a couple favorites. But I will say this: That Tommy Lee/Pamela Anderson video wasn’t very good. I wouldn’t f**k Tommy Lee.”

I blame Britney Spears.

He’s ready to bring the troops home.

Conan gears up for his new show.

What is Paris Hilton’s excuse now?

The Kardashians invade QVC.

Apparently everyone wants to make a sex tape.

Wait, that’s a real competition?

Speidi still in the running for grossest couple ever

Does pulling out work?

Why does Sean Penn look like my grandma?

Totally practical shopping shoes! Pysch

The must have fall boot for cheap

When was the last time you cried?

How people know a trend is dead

Chanel bags are sorta on sale