So here we go, talking about the big bad world of MASTURBATION.

I know, it’s something most people don’t discuss freely and definitely don’t admit to trying or doing. But why is it so on the hush-hush!  We know it’s common thing, so why are we so embarrassed or nervous to talk about it? Well, for all of those out there who are too afraid to even type it into Google for fear it will show up in their histories, I’ve done the “dirty work” for you (pun sorta intended, just kidding, THIS IS NOT A DIRTY TOPIC!). Here are the 7 most absurd myths of masturbation.  Let’s hope that by the time you’re done reading these, your fears about masturbation will disappear, or at least your fears about discussing it will…

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[Lead image via Jochen Schoenfeld/Shutterstock]

Fantasizing is an intrinsic part of sexual development. It’s a perfectly healthy way to work out your curiosities, explore your preferences, and enhance your sex life.  It’s totally okay to think about threesomes, or public sex, role playing, or whatever turns you on… But what if you want to actually take your fantasies to the next level? Undoubtedly, opening up an intimate and private part of your thought process to someone’s assessment and possible rejection is scary, but it can be a truly liberating (and sexy) experience to share fantasies with your partner.

Generally, the best time to broach fantasies is during foreplay. You’re both getting aroused and (hopefully!) you’re starting to let go of some of your inhibitions. There are pretty much three ways this can shake out. The worst case scenario is your partner outright rejects you. If they’re worthy of your time, they won’t express disgust or make you feel self-conscious. They’ll merely convey their lack of interest and get right back into the moment. Or, if they’re a little more intrigued, they’ll start to play along. For example, if you brought up the idea of role playing, they’ll integrate that into their dirty talk while you’re in coitus. It’s amazing how much just talking about fantasies can spice up your relationship. The best case scenario is they’re just as enthusiastic as you are, and are totally down for making your fantasies a reality. Total score.

The most important thing is to be confident and don’t invalidate your own fantasies. No matter how weird or kinky you think they are, you are almost certainly not alone. At the very least, there’s very little you could say that would shock your partner, especially if they’ve spent more than 5 seconds on the internet. It is incredibly common to imagine threesomes, public play, restraints…the list goes on. Don’t ever invalidate your own sexual proclivities – as long as they’re not harmful to you or to anyone else, they are fair game. There’s nothing wrong with indulging your imagination, and *fingers crossed* you are with, or will find, someone who is open to doing the same.

It’s a sad day for imaginations everywhere, because Maurice Sendak, author of ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ dies at 83. The man responsible for Max and wild things in the minds of children everywhere had a stroke on Friday and passed early this morning at a hospital in Connecticut. Luckily his story will live on. Read the full story here.

In other news:

Beyonce announces that she wants more kids at the MET Costume Gala last night

Jared Padalecki gets shirtless in Rio and he is smokin’ HOTT!

Ever wondered how to wear bright eyeliner? Find out here!

This elephant may be a better musician than you

Here are 6 reasons why laughter is the best medicine

Lena Dunham explains why she didn’t write any black characters into ‘Girls’

In a youth obsessed Hollywood, senior citizen film-makers flourish

5 facts to know about the John Travolta penis message scandal

Why you shouldn’t have sex when you don’t want to

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2012/05/08/maurice-sendak-author-of-where-the-wild-things-are-dead-at-83-candy-dish/feed/ 0 ccandystaff wherethewildthingsare2 http://collegecandy.com/2012/05/04/8-things-you-shouldnt-try-to-do-in-2-minutes/ http://collegecandy.com/2012/05/04/8-things-you-shouldnt-try-to-do-in-2-minutes/#comments Fri, 04 May 2012 17:00:12 +0000 Garnet Henderson – Columbia U http://collegecandy.com/?p=161525 ]]>

Today, we stumbled upon a video of a guy trying to down six beers in two minutes. He gets pretty close, but it does not end well. I’m sure you can imagine what happens. Let’s just say that if you’re squeamish, you should probably skip this video.

After we had recovered from the grossness of the video, we started to think about other things you really shouldn’t try to do in two minutes. Please, look through the gallery and take our advice. You don’t want to become a viral video. Or do you…?

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Jane Fonda was recently quoted saying that she would have more doggy style sex if it wasn’t for her fake knee. Is anyone else surprised by Jane’s sex life? It got us thinking, what other celebrities have great sex lives? Of course there are the obvious ones like Rihanna but then there are others that are a bit more unexpected. Whether they love talking about their sex lives, they often play sexy characters in movies, or they have sexy boyfriends/husbands, here are the celebs we think have awesome sex lives:

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Which celebs do you think have great sex lives? Tell us in the comments!

Even from the grave, Michael Jackson proves to be a busy man. TMZ reports that a new lawsuit has surfaced by a man who claims Michael “molested him, gave him drugs, alcohol and forced him to undergo unnecessary cosmetic surgery.” Anyone else find it suspicious that this is just coming up now? What has this guy been waiting for? Read the full story here and see what you think!

In other news:

‘Mad Men’s’ Christina Hendricks turns 37 today and looks great!

10 pairs of really ugly, super expensive designer pants you shouldn’t buy!

7 days of sex: why you and everyone else should try it!

Sofia Veragra’s boobs exposed in GQ

Facebook wants to status update your organs?! WTF

‘Glee’ season 3 finale will leave you hanging!

Chris Evans says he prefers working on smaller movies

All the ways we have seen Nicolas Cage

Our favorite parts of Carrie Underwood’s Glamour shoot

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2012/05/03/new-michael-jackson-lawsuit-surfaces-candy-dish/feed/ 2 jennycollegecandy Michael Jackson lead ss http://collegecandy.com/2012/05/03/rough-sex-is-feminist-sexy-time/ http://collegecandy.com/2012/05/03/rough-sex-is-feminist-sexy-time/#comments Thu, 03 May 2012 13:30:36 +0000 Jasmine - Northern Arizona University http://collegecandy.com/?p=161062 ]]>

An article on YourTango posed an interesting question – “Can a lady enjoy rough sex and still be a feminist?” Yes. Absolutely. This is an issue that I struggled with for a while. I started actively identifying as a feminist in high school, and what that meant to me at the time was that women should not be denied opportunities that men have, and that one’s quality of life should not suffer because of their gender. I didn’t start having intimate relations with guys until years later. The first guy I ever kissed identified as a feminist and he asked me how I could fight the patriarchy without tasting it (I didn’t realize precisely how repulsive such a question was until after the fact, unfortunately). It wasn’t until I lost my virginity a few years later that I started to truly examine how feminism and my sexual proclivities would intersect.

I love rough sex. It is essentially the only kind of intercourse that holds my attention. I am very submissive and I love being degraded and dominated by my partner in the bedroom. I absolutely need the sex to be rough and demeaning in order to orgasm. Prior to having sex, I never thought that this would be my preference, but it was something that my partner and I started to explore organically, and it’s very fulfilling to me. The fact that I am able to explore my sexuality safely, determine what I want, and effectively communicate my desires and my boundaries to my partner are all very sex-positive, feminist actions.

However, I know that my preferences do not exist in a vacuum. Subjugating and dominating women is endemic in our culture. If I had grown up in a society where there was no patriarchy and no misogyny, where mainstream porn didn’t glorify female submissiveness, where women weren’t routinely and systematically objectified, would I feel so secure in my sexual proclivities? My performance in the bedroom pretty much mirrors how female sexuality is executed on a larger scale. So I am aware that, subconsciously, I am choosing to acquiesce to societal norms. It would be naive to deny that culture has influenced the way I approach sex.

Be that as it may, I don’t think any sexual act is intrinsically feminist or anti-feminist. I can never emphasize the significance of consent, open lines of communication, mutual respect and clear boundaries enough. As long as those elements are present, the sex is feminist. Feminism is not a rigid set of rules and regulations. It is fluid, evolving, and puts a lot of emphasis on personal agency and choice. Choosing to have orgasms the way you want to is very much a feminist act.

[Lead image via Margarita Borodina/Shutterstock]

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

This is really embarrassing, so I’m just going to say it – I love porn. My boyfriend likes porn, too, but he doesn’t know that I like it. I want to tell him, because I think it would be really hot to look at it together. But I’m embarassed. I also don’t want him to think I’m a slut or anything. We’ve been together all throughout college, so it’s not like he would think that but still… How can I tell him in a way that is sexy and not slutty?

Porn Lover

Dear Porn Lover,

That is totally not slutty. How is it slutty to want to enjoy something you find sexually satisfying with the very man you find sexually satisfying?! No. Slutty, it is not. Honey, here’s my advice:

During The Sexy Times, whisper a really sexy scenario into your boyfriend’s ear. When he’s all worked up over it, tell him you got it from your favorite porn and suggest watching it together. And then, you know, actually watch it together. I’m pretty sure he’ll be super excited. And I mean flooping SUPER excited. You like something he already likes, it’s related to sex, and you’re his girlfriend!

Girl, this isn’t a problem. This is every guy’s dream!

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

[lead image via Margarita Borodina / Shutterstock]

“Tell them I’m f*ckin busy, or vice versa.”- Dorothy Parker

Let’s face it ladies. If you’re a sassy, quick witted woman, you’re probably busier than the average girl. Your calendar is jam packed, you have a string of boys nipping at your heels, you’re expected to attend every social event of the year, and even though you’re flying through classes, you still need some time to release your inner lioness. So here’s a list of reasons why you should clear your calendar and get cozy between the sheets with your bed buddy, your boyfriend, or if you’re like Megan from Mad Men, your boss.

By: Josephine Davis

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As of late, I’ve been noticing a subtle trend in the discourse surrounding sex, wherein people go out of their way to emphasize how adventurous and kinky and open-minded they are in bed. Not that there is anything remotely wrong with any of that, but is there any reason to accompany those remarks with a dig at people who are more vanilla/tame/virginal? I’m sure that the need to boast about the amazingly vibrant and multifaceted sex life is, in part, a reaction to society’s aggressive slut-shaming and general sex-negativity. While it’s great when people are able to see beyond our collectively lame perception of sex, it’s not cool at all to shame other people for differing sexual proclivities.

I’m sure that plenty of people would definitely consider me a prude. I’ve only had one boyfriend. Prior to him, I’d had less than 10 remotely sexual encounters. I’ve never intentionally engaged in casual sex/hookups – when it happened, I was wrought with anxiety and discomfort. I don’t like anal, nor am I interested in threesomes. And in this post-Katy Perry world, I’ve never even kissed a girl. In some circles, these truths would totally render me an uptight prude. Which, really, I fail to see much of a problem with. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be super experimental, or lacking any desire to try to win a “who’s kinkier?” contest.  Being sex-positive doesn’t mean imposing your own ideas onto others — it means respecting that there are tons of ways to express your sexuality, and they are valid, whether you’re choosing to save yourself for marriage or save yourself for the next guy who makes you a jello shot.

It doesn’t matter if missionary is your end-all and be-all or whether you devour the Kama Sutra, if you enjoy fingerbangs or need to be gagged, bound and slapped to enjoy yourself, or if you have absolutely no interest in sex whatsoever; you shouldn’t feel shamed or looked down upon for your proclivities. We have such a messy societal narrative when it comes to sex. If you’re having too much sex, you’re disgusting, but if you’re not have enough, you’re boring. We need to stop buying into these arbitrary notions that there is some sort of barometer for what is the “right” kind of sex life. As long as it’s consistently safe and consensual, that’s all that matters. Everyone finds different things appealing, so let’s stop policing everyone’s behaviors and start accepting people for who they are, instead of who we think they should be.

[Lead image via CREATISTA/Shutterstock]