Dorm-room sex. It’s undeniably tricky. Besides the tiny twin beds that limit mobility and often result in dangerous topples from the top bunk, you always have to time your romps just right, waiting for your roommate to step out for an undetermined but hopefully lengthy amount of time.

But dorm-room sex is just as challenging for the non-practicing roommate. Allow me to paint you a word mural:

You’re trekking home to your room after an excruciating night in the library. Your bed is calling your name from across campus, and it’s taking all of your energy just to make it back. Just as you are opening the door and can practically feel your blanket’s sweet embrace wrapped around your body, the familiar moans and grunts of your roommate and her ape-like boyfriend ring like fire alarms in your ears. Sexiled again.

You have two choices: Make your presence known and hope they cease and desist or opt for headphones and heavy metal. Or you can face your fate and spend the night tossing and turning on the cardboard-like couch in the lounge.

Well, if you’re a student at Tufts University, the weight of this hefty decision has been taken off your shoulders once and for all. Under a new ResLife policy, students are not allowed to engage in sexual activity while their roommates are in the room. Read More »

It seems like just yesterday I was packing my gloves, hats, and facemask to come back to school and start 2nd semester. And now, all of a sudden, it’s spring break. Time is of the essence and even though most people only have a few days or a week to pull themselves together, here are my last-minute spring break tips.

Invest in Sunscreen- I know. I sound like your mom. That’s because I’m quoting my own mom. But seriously its been months since your skin has been exposed to the sun. The only thing more tragic than coming back with cornrows from the Caribbean is returning to school with a 3rd degree burn and 4 inch blister on your face (true story).

Begin Drinking Dangerous Amounts- (And this is part of the blog where I veer away from anything my mom has ever said.) In just a few days you will be drinking more alcohol than your liver could ever imagine and unless you want to die, it’s essential you start building up your tolerance ASAP. I know that a lot of people have midterms this week but that’s no excuse to be letting your guard down. There should be beers at every breakfast and shots with every snack. If there is any point during the day where you could legally drive, you are not preparing yourself responsibly for whats going to happen during break.

Start Sleeping- When you’re not drinking, you should be sleeping. Sleep so much that you will never want to sleep again. Because you won’t be sleeping. Not for an entire week. Chances are that if you’re not in the mood to get some, your roommate will be. There’s no hope for any 8-hour nights in any spring break destination. Read More »

With everyone heading back to school (yay!), there are so many things going through everyone’s minds. “Will that guy from last year still want to hang out?” “Am I going to survive living in an off campus apartment?” “What the hell do I do about choosing my major?”

And for incoming freshmen…it is only worse. They are entering a scary new world. They will once again be the babies. They are going to experience their first Welcome Week, their first oversized lecture, their first time being sexiled by a wild roommate.

We at CollegeCandy feel it is our duty to steer those college newbies in the right direction; it would be unfair for us to let them make mistakes (and take the same awful photos…) and miss out on great opportunities. After all, college only happens once, so we want to ensure everyone does it right.

This week, we asked our writers to share some advice with the lucky ladies who are still in school and the even luckier ones who are just beginning. We have learned a lot from our time in college, so listen up and heed our advice….

If I knew then what I know now:

Kelly – UMass: I would not have spent my entire 4 years in a relationship. I would have not trusted every single person I met. I would have taken some yoga and art classes and I would have definitely brought some more Lysol.

K – NYU: I’d have gone to office hours. For everything. Even if you hate freshman year calc and your professor says things like “There are going to be lots of flunks on this exam” and routinely asks if he is speaking English, my GPA would’ve been much more promising.

Sara – NYU: I would be less pretentious. I’m almost 24 now, and, looking back to when I was in undergrad, I can’t believe how seriously I took myself. God, loosen up!! Read More »

Dear Normal Roommates,

So – how are you? I’m probably the last person that you want to hear from but I want you to know that I’ve changed. Please just hear me out.

Before I started college, I remember hearing third and fourth hand stories about crazy roommates (You know those stories – I don’t need to summarize any of them for you). Because of those stories, I went into the dorms worried about the crazy that I might encounter, never once thinking that I could ever BE that storied roommate.

But as it turns out, I was indeed that person. On behalf of the crazies who realize that they were the crazy and the crazies who are still not aware of what their crazy is doing to their roommates, I am truly sorry and I hope that you can accept my/our apology.

Specifically to my freshman year roommates, A. and R., I apologize for coming back to our room in the middle of the night and drunkenly puttering around in the darkness. I truly believed that I was being quiet, but I only realize now that my quiet when I’m drunk equals ‘wake-you-up’ loud to unintoxicated ears. Read More »

Everybody likes sex.

Unless it’s sex you’re not involved in, coming from the bed on the other side of the room. At 3 A.M. When you’ve got a test in 5 hours.

One of the most annoying (and sometimes, horrifying) aspects of going to college is the roommate not-so-silence sex fest. It happens to almost everyone; you don’t know your roommate that well, she brings someone back to the room, you pretend you’re asleep, and the newly formed partnership proceeds to take full advantage of the condoms from the bathroom condom basket.

For a first time sex-fest listener, it can be a scarring occurrence. You want to speak up, but you also don’t, you want desperately to fall asleep, but it’s impossible due to the loud noises coming from across the room.

Here are some tips to keep you from waking up in the middle of the night in horror.

#1 Start Talking Early – You’re in college now. You’re mature. You know what sex is. Once you find out a little bit about the person you’re sharing a room with, asking them about their “sleeping arrangements” is no big deal. Subtly try to find out if they enjoy having someone else in their bed at all times, or if they prefer to snuggle up to a teddy bear at night. Offering up what you’re comfortable with before they do (“You know, I’m totally fine with hook-ups in this room. Just let me know when you might be swinging by and I’ll give you some privacy”) allows you to clear the air and show your new roomie that you’re open and easy to talk to. Read More »