The week is officially over people, and I have to say that brings a sigh of relief from my end of the computer.  I’m not sure what made this week such a doozy, but it’s over now and I can start planning my date with icy, fruity alcoholic-filled drinks (watermelon soju = best summer drink ever).   Now that I know how many delicious Mai Tai’s will kill me, I can plan my night accordingly.

August is here and with it (I’m hoping) comes some consistent summer weather.  I didn’t really plan my summer wardrobe well enough to include the necessary rain accessories for the monsoon season we’ve been having.  Therefore I’ve been staying inside a lot…and cabin fever has definitely set in.  Not only have I packed on a couple pounds from avoiding the rain-soaked jog to the gym, I’ve also started acting a bit more wild than usual.  It turns out that working out may not actually make me thinner anyway, so I guess I’m stuck inside eating Cheetos and watching Hulu.

Another effect of the incredibly rainy/wickedly hot first week of August is that my libido has gone into overdrive (I think it must be confused by all the weather changes).  That cute guy at the bar I’ve been creepin’ on all night?  I think we might end up getting engaged…for a few hours (if not purely to end my rainy-day boredom).  Then again, if we’ve been at the bar for awhile, he might need a little “pick me up”, such as a deliciously covert piece of gum. Let’s just hope we can avoid any bedroom weirdness…

Finally, because it’s August, I can look forward to going back to college.  There are so many things I’m excited about and topping the list would be my group of school friends (in addition to massive amounts of drink specials and late-night library fun).  Let the countdown to Welcome Week begin, ladies!

Thanks to my Jewish mother, I’m the kind of girl that is always prepared for everything. People are constantly making fun of me and my 30lb purses, but that’s what happens when you carry around anything you could possibly need in a day: bleach pen, gum, band-aids, tampons, candy (lots and lots of candy), hand cream, multiple lip balms, hair care products, multiple cans of Diet Coke, etc.

I really thought I covered all my bases until I ended up in a situation to which I had no fix: a guy who couldn’t get it up.

At first I was distressed that I had done something wrong. Were my legs too hairy? My tan lines unattractive? Did he prefer girls with more than a landing strip?

After I got over that (“Uh, hello, the guy last week didn’t seem to have any issues!”), I still couldn’t shake the disappointment in myself. That was the first time in a long time that I was unable to reach into my Mary Poppins bag and pull out a cure. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to carry a penis pump in a Marc Jacobs bag (what would Marc think of me?!), but at the same time, there has to be something I can do to prevent further unfortunate occurrences. Read More »