The disorder covers all aspects of sex, from rubbing to touching to full blown sex. Those who “suffer” from sexsomnia (which I would argue are the spouses/bedmates who have to deal with having sex with someone while they snore) claim to have no idea what they are doing and don’t remember it in the morning.

Which leads me to wonder if I have Sexsomnia…or if I can claim I do after returning from the bar and finding myself next to an extremely unattractive person in the morning. I mean, there have been many occasions where I woke up in the morning and had no idea if I had sex the night before. And there have been plenty others when I wish to the God in heaven that I did not.

In fact, this little disorder can make things a whole lot less awkward in the morning.

Best -Friend -That -I -Have -Had -A -Secret -Crush -On -Forever: Um. How did I end up in your bed and why am I not wearing any pants?

Me: Oh my God! That must be my Sexsomnia flaring up again! I didn’t even know I did that!

But Sexsomnia isn’t all fun and games. Those sleeping with the Sexsomniac have been known to wake up with cuts and bruises as sex tends to be rougher when the dude doesn’t know he’s doing it. Which makes sense – guys have all sorts of crazy sex dreams and a Sexsomniac is simply acting them out.

And some Sexsomniacs even injure themselves; one man complained of bruises on his penis from repeated nocturnal masturbation. Surely that gets a bit embarrassing when the ladies see it.

This disorder is still quite rare in medical documents, but experts blame that on the embarrassing nature of the problem. As far as I have experienced, there are more of us out there than anyone thinks.