[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

I was with my boyfriend for three months the first time sex (and, simultaneously, something else, if you know what I’m sayin’….) presented itself. It was his birthday, we were in his bed, neither of us were wearing clothes, and after an hour of a whole lot of other stuff, I was ready for it.

And it was my first time.

“Baby, let’s do it.” I breathed into his ear. Yes, I know it wasn’t the most eloquent proposal, but gimme a break. How many of you are poets between the sheets?

He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. I expected some romance. Not like John Mayer would walk in and start playing in the background or that we’d have the kind of intense sex I’d seen (far too many times) in The Notebook. But, you know, I thought he’d be happy about it. I did not expect:

“OK, but I don’t want you to get all clingy and stuff.”

Uh. Yeah. That happened. And I slept with him anyway. And continued to date him for another 3 months. The thing is though, I didn’t blame him for thinking that way. First, the kid was kind of dumb. And second, he’s not the only guy that assumes that a virgin becomes instantly attached to the first guy she sleeps with. Guys are conditioned to think that way from the moment they have their first erection. They assume that all girls think of their first time as some magical moment and that they’ll live happily ever after with the first guy who put it in.

They don’t realize that many of us are just looking for someone we feel comfortable with. Someone we trust to see us in that most vulnerable moment. Someone who won’t slander our names when we make them stop because it hurts so effing badly, or run from the room when they see the unsightly virgin stain on their sheets. There are a lot of things girls have to deal with when they lose their virginity and many just want to make sure they’re dealing with those things with someone who, I dunno, knows their last name.

For guys, on the contrary, losing their virginity is easy. Hell, I’m sure that many of us have slept with virgins and didn’t even know it. I mean, there are plenty of experienced guys out there who are terrible in bed or finish in less than a minute, so how are we supposed to know if that’s because it’s their first time or they just suck?

And even if we do know we’re about to go to bed with a virgin, do we care? Not really. The only reason we’d even question it is because we’re worried his inexperience might leave us hurting more than our first Spin class/walking funny for days. But in reality, most girls don’t give much thought to taking someone’s virginity. And of the ones that do, many love the idea of being someone’s first. We like knowing that this guy is clean, he’s not a total player, and that we can have total control of the situation. And control in the bedroom is HOT.

Look, it’s 2011. For most people losing your virginity is a big deal, yes, but it should be a big deal to the person losing it, not the person they’re losing it to. If someone is choosing to give me their V-Card, more power to them (but good luck ever finding someone who’s gonna rock their world as hard as I do); I’m not gonna freak out that they’ll be proposing marriage in the morning. It’s a very personal decision and if they decide that I’m the person they want to have their first roll in the hay with, that’s their call.

Because at the end of the day, it’s sex, and whether it’s their 197th time or their 1st, I’m just excited to be gettin’ some.

Want to see what he said? Check out the male response at COEDmagazine.com.

[Get more He Said/She Said right here.]

My first boyfriend was uncircumcised. At the young, inexperienced age of fourteen, I realized this only because one day while chilling on the futon in the den having a post BJ-sesh chat, he informed me that some of the girls he had been with (because as a sixteen-year-old senior, he was far more sexually experienced than my freshman self) were initially freaked out by the au natural state of his Scottish-born ween. Huh, I remember thinking. He’s not circumcised. So THAT’s what that looks like.

It’s not like I was totally ignorant. I had been reading Seventeen and YM since I was nine. I knew all about hymens and G-spots and that you couldn’t get pregnant from a boy shooting his load into the open waters of a hot tub, so I certainly knew that some gents had foreskins and some did not; I just wasn’t really sure what that meant, anatomically.

I didn’t actually fully experience the difference between the two until about ten months later when my boyfriend and I were “on a break” and I hooked up with another boy, birthed in the good old U.S. of A. and fully shorn to prove it. As we sweatily made out on the couch, I jammed my hand in to his shorts, confidently grabbed a hold of his manparts, and…proceeded to give him the rawest handjob in the history of the earth.

For those of you who are lost, allow me to explain. On an uncircumcised boy, one can give some kind of an HJ without any sort of lube at all. Granted, as I have aged I have learned that some lube is certainly preferable to none in any case, but a fluid up and down motion causing some pleasurable sensations is achievable. But on the circumcised penis? Without the pliable sheath of the foreskin acting as a kind of…sleeve or whatever*, all that an unlubed HJ will achieve is some serious chafing and sad faces all around. Aww.

Since these initial awkward adolescent escapades, I have gained a world of experience in both the skinned and not skinned camps; in fact, I’d say of all the boys I’ve been with, about 40% are uncircumcised. Which is why it surprises me that many ladies I meet are not only ignorant to the ways of the shrouded wang but downright disturbed by it. Just last summer, a friend of mine was recounting her hookup from the night before and informed me that the kid was the first uncircumcised experience she had ever had and it was, “Really weird. I don’t think I liked it.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“I just kind of…creeped me out,” was her response.

Maybe I just meet penilely conservative girls, but I hear something to this effect pretty often. While I kicked off my sexual career with a UK wang where approximately 20% of males are circumcised, most ladies in the U.S. are hooking up with dudes from the U.S., where three out of four males are unsheathed. While the practice of circumcising boys has been on the decline in recent years, the pervasive notion in America is still that penises should not resemble the worms from Tremors.

So what of these turtlenecked organs? Are, they, in fact, inferior to naked ones? For years it was touted that being circumcised was more hygienic, made for a lower risk of STD contraction, and allows for greater sensation during sex. However, in 1999, the American Medical Association issued a statement saying that removal of an infant’s foreskin for any reason other than medical issues or ritualistic tradition is not necessary and not advised, and since then, the number of circumcisions performed annually has dropped by about 35%. Recent scientific studies have indicated that keeping the old skinjacket does not have any notable adverse effects on most guys, though there is some debate as to whether or not circumcision can help curb the spread of HIV in high-risk regions. However, here in Western civilization it seems that our notion that skin free is the way to be is merely a social construct.

And as for me? Well, I can’t say I’ve noticed much of a difference either way. Aside from the aforementioned HJ discrepancy, a penis is a penis is a penis as far as I’m concerned. Some are short, some long, some thick, some thin, some sheathed, some not. At the end of the day, I don’t think it matters much what it looks like; what matters is the dude attached to it and how he uses it.

*God, I hope my mother isn’t reading this.

Likey? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

There are over 100 million sites on the Internet. 100 million! You might think you know about all the important ones (CollegeCandy, Gmail, Google, TFLN…), but there are thousands of other sweet sites out there (like Yummly Dad’s on Vacation, and Covet) and more showing up every day! We get it – it’s not easy or fun sifting through the crap and porn to find those gems, so we’re gonna bring the gems to you. Just sit back, kick up those feet and allow us to introduce you to the diamonds in the internet rough.]

In our technology-centered culture, we’ve created online ways to monitor virtually everything in our lives, including our bank accounts, diet and exercise, school work, to-do lists, music we listen to, personal relationships, and even our sex lives.  Yeah, you read that last one right–if you’ve ever wondered just how often you get lucky, then you should check out Bedposted, a site dedicated to helping people keep track of all of their sexual encounters.

To get started using the site, prospective users have to enter their e-mail addresses and then wait for an invitation to arrive in their inbox.  Once you receive an invitation, you’ll be able to set up an account with the site and start cataloging all of your bedroom adventures.

After each time you have sex (OK… maybe not right after… that might be a little awkward), you log onto the site and fill out an entry that includes the time of day, how long it lasted, who it was with, add descriptive tags, and even rate how good (or bad) it was based on a five-star system.  After a few entries like this, and you’ll start to get a pretty good picture of things.  You’ll be able to see not just how often you get busy, but also how often you do it at certain times of day or with certain people, and even how long it usually lasts.  There’s even an mobile app in the works, so you can make sure to record your latest conquests as soon as they occur, even when you’re not near your computer (a great way to pass the time when you’re doing the walk of shame).

Naturally, Bedpost knows that the information its users are sharing on their site is extremely personal, and makes sure to address any concerns about privacy (lest anyone and everyone you know finding out just how promiscuous–or how celibate–you really are) right on their front page.  They stress that there are no social networking features (all the info you share is for your eyes only), and if it’s necessary to do so, everything is permanently deletable.

OK, so this site might be a little depressing in a couple of different ways: one, that some people are having so much sex with so many different people that they need help keeping track of it; and two, anyone who isn’t having sex on a regular basis doesn’t need a reminder of that fact or simply has no need for the site.  But if you just have fun with the idea, it could be pretty interesting, and might help you gain some insight into your sex life.

See, ladies; I told you this was a good idea.

There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours.  As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter).  So we have to prioritize!  We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above).  Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.

Because I’m a totally mature and well-adjusted college student, I sometimes play games with my friends that involve saying awkward things at inappropriate times.  We do it for shock value and for the general entertainment of everyone involved (who doesn’t enjoy a good shouting match of “Penis!”?).  Recently, I tried to play a version of this game with my boyfriend while chatting innocently on AIM.  Here’s a basic outline of how it went:

Boyfriend: nap good?
Boyfriend: you got dinner soon right?
Me: if I were to have a threesome with you and one of your friends, it would so be Kenny
Boyfriend:first of all, wtf
Boyfriend:wtf wtf wtf wtf
Me: AHAHAHAAAA

This got me to thinking…about threesomes.  And about how I may have to tone down the randomness around the BF.  But mostly about the sex part.  Why not?  There are so many reasons to invite an extra player into your game (or even a couple extra players…the more the merrier, right?), especially if your boyfriend has hot friends.  Or your friends have some hot friends.  Or that guy opposite you at the bar has some hot friends.  You know, whoever floats your boat.

At any rate, having tried the whole two-peen-for-the-price-of-one deal, I’d have to encourage you to get wild and try it out yourself.  There are no height requirements on this ride, my friends, so jump on (although you may want to stretch or something beforehand).  Here’s why you should be buying a king-sized mattress and planning an adult a sleepover:

Dorm Cred – If you live in a dormitory, you’re probably used to the Sunday morning exchange of stories from your wild weekends.  Well, what could top a great story about group sex?  Nothing, my friend.  Not even that story your roommate told about making out with her prof to bump that 3.5 to a 4.0.  If you’re a college-aged woman (or dude), then epic stories about parties, drinking, and sex are your currency.  And your story about your amazing threesome?  That’s pretty much like throwing down a crisp hundo while your friends are digging for dimes.

Experience - College is the time where you gain experience and knowledge you can use and build upon for the rest of your adult life.  Drinking and sex are also counted in this skill set.  In fact, I can’t think of any other skills that are more useful in life.  Having a group sex experience will definitely bump up your experience points.  Even if you’re awkward and immature in the bedroom at the best of times, after a threesome (or two), you’ll be walking with a new swagger (probably from a pulled muscle from all that sex, but whatever…it’s worth it) that you can carry with you past graduation.

Test Your Relationship – If you’re in a relationship and have the opportunity to share a threesome with your partner, then this is what could be called a “test of your relationship.”  It usually goes one of two ways:  you can become closer and cement your bond…or you might fall apart.  Sometimes a threesome is just a way for your partner to cheat on you while you’re in the room (or vice-versa).  Try to keep group sex as a tool for expanding your sexual horizons and spicing up your sex life, rather than an easy way out of a relationship.  At any rate, I promise you that you’ll learn something about your partner when there’s another naked person in bed with you.

Annoy/Confuse Your Roommate -  Now that fall semester has started and everyone has (mostly) settled into the rhythms of college life, some of you may be regretting your roommate decision.  What better way to annoy or confuse them than a rousing night of group sex?  Whether or not they are invited, I’m sure they’ll be adequately affected by the situation to make your point (dirty laundry goes in the hamper, not on the floor in front of my desk!).  Your sexual antics will also provide a memorable story for them to tell their next roommate…or your RA.  Good times.

More Flexibility – Trying to get everyone into position without spraining any genitalia is a task in itself during a threesome.  I could have used some pilates or yoga classes before I jumped into that situation.  Add more people and I can only imagine the flexibility needed to pull it all off.  However, after a couple of times bumping uglies with your homies, you’ll be bending and twisting like a Russian gymnast.  This will make traditional two-person encounters all the more exciting (especially for your lucky partner).

Increased Sexiness – Let’s face it:  group sex is an opulant, excessive taboo.  Threesomes are the things of which pornos and wet dreams are made.  Once you have an experience like that, you’re changed.  You’ve suddenly got a smoldering sexiness and increased confidence.  People will be drawn to you like moths to a sexy leg lamp.  Having a threesome is the equivalent of getting a mani/pedi, a cut and style, an amazing new LBD, and fabulous new shoes all in the same day:  you’ll feel amazing.  Who knew that you could save hundreds of dollars by just having more sex?

It’s Fun – Seriously…just do it.  You’ll see.

Yes, I know – if I could just find a guy to stick with, it would all be easier. This is true. And maybe, just maybe, I will eventually meet a good guy who I can really rely on and want to commit to. Until then (which is off in the way distant future), I think I found a substitute.

The SaSi.

I haven’t actually tried this thing out yet, but I am deeply considering it. And once you know more about it, you most definitely will, too.

It seems as though, thanks to new technology, this little vibrator knows more about how to please women than most men do. (Editor’s Note: Which isn’t hard. Ayooooo!) SaSi has a learn mode wherein it tries all different sorts of movements. If you don’t like one, you can simply skip to the next and it remembers the ones that you prefer. The next time you use it, the SaSi will skip the stuff you hate and stick to the stuff you love. If only it were that easy with the boys…and they didn’t get all self-conscious/curled up in the fetal position and cried when you tried to guide them.

The SaSi also combines different movements all the time, so it never gives you the same sexual experience twice. Cha Ching!

How many of you know men who can measure up to that? I’m only sayin….

I bet SaSi won’t admit to liking me as more than a friend and then link me to a blog where a skank details having sex with SaSi last week…

Oh, whoops, that was just some as*hole I cut out of my dating life as of yesterday.

[Photo from: msnbc.com]

My first boyfriend was uncircumcised. At the young, inexperienced age of fourteen, I realized this only because one day while chilling on the futon in the den having a post BJ-sesh chat, he informed me that some of the girls he had been with (because as a sixteen-year-old senior, he was far more sexually experienced than my freshman self) were initially freaked out by the au natural state of his Scottish-born ween. Huh, I remember thinking. He’s not circumcised. So THAT’s what that looks like.

It’s not like I was totally ignorant. I had been reading Seventeen and YM since I was nine. I knew all about hymens and G-spots and that you couldn’t get pregnant from a boy shooting his load into the open waters of a hot tub, so I certainly knew that some gents had foreskins and some did not; I just wasn’t really sure what that meant, anatomically.

I didn’t actually fully experience the difference between the two until about ten months later when my boyfriend and I were “on a break” and I hooked up with another boy, birthed in the good old U.S. of A. and fully shorn to prove it. As we sweatily made out on the couch, I jammed my hand in to his shorts, confidently grabbed a hold of his manparts, and…proceeded to give him the rawest handjob in the history of the earth.

For those of you who are lost, allow me to explain. On an uncircumcised boy, one can give some kind of an HJ without any sort of lube at all. Granted, as I have aged I have learned that some lube is certainly preferable to none in any case, but a fluid up and down motion causing some pleasurable sensations is achievable. But on the circumcised penis? Without the pliable sheath of the foreskin acting as a kind of…sleeve or whatever*, all that an unlubed HJ will achieve is some serious chafing and sad faces all around. Aww.

Since these initial awkward adolescent escapades, I have gained a world of experience in both the skinned and not skinned camps; in fact, I’d say of all the boys I’ve been with, about 40% are uncircumcised. Which is why it surprises me that many ladies I meet are not only ignorant to the ways of the shrouded wang but downright disturbed by it. Just last summer, a friend of mine was recounting her hookup from the night before and informed me that the kid was the first uncircumcised experience she had ever had and it was, “Really weird. I don’t think I liked it.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“I just kind of…creeped me out,” was her response.

Maybe I just meet penilely conservative girls, but I hear something to this effect pretty often. While I kicked off my sexual career with a UK wang where approximately 20% of males are circumcised, most ladies in the U.S. are hooking up with dudes from the U.S., where three out of four males are unsheathed. While the practice of circumcising boys has been on the decline in recent years, the pervasive notion in America is still that penises should not resemble the worms from Tremors.

So what of these turtlenecked organs? Are, they, in fact, inferior to naked ones? For years it was touted that being circumcised was more hygienic, made for a lower risk of STD contraction, and allows for greater sensation during sex. However, in 1999, the American Medical Association issued a statement saying that removal of an infant’s foreskin for any reason other than medical issues or ritualistic tradition is not necessary and not advised, and since then, the number of circumcisions performed annually has dropped by about 35%. Recent scientific studies have indicated that keeping the old skinjacket does not have any notable adverse effects on most guys, though there is some debate as to whether or not circumcision can help curb the spread of HIV in high-risk regions. However, here in Western civilization it seems that our notion that skin free is the way to be is merely a social construct.

And as for me? Well, I can’t say I’ve noticed much of a difference either way. Aside from the aforementioned HJ discrepancy, a penis is a penis is a penis as far as I’m concerned. Some are short, some long, some thick, some thin, some sheathed, some not. At the end of the day, I don’t think it matters much what it looks like; what matters is the dude attached to it and how he uses it.

*God, I hope my mother isn’t reading this.

Researchers in Berkeley, California recently surveyed more than 900 middle school and high school students for a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health.

When presumably asked what constitutes keeping one’s virginity, “70 percent of kids 12 to 16 believe they’re virgins even if they’ve had oral sex – and 16 percent believe anal sex doesn’t count either.”

Look, once you start engaging in sexual activity, your virgin status goes hazy. Sure, you might not have done it, but if you’ve done everything under the sun except it, your technical virginity basically becomes a moot point. If you’re sexually experienced, you’re sexually experienced.

The “I’m still a virgin!” declaration after engaging in other sexual activities seems to be rooted in our society’s desperate fear of being labeled. Teenagers (especially girls) ultimately want to be “good”, but their hormones are pulling them in a completely different direction.

Doing everything except the big “penis into the vagina” thing allows someone to explore their sexuality while still remaining pure in the eyes of society.

Sex is a big thing. I don’t want to deny that. But the more pressure we put on teenagers about it, the more they’re going to do anything to make up excuses.

First it was oral sex—which can still give you diseases and in my opinion is more intimate than intercourse. Now it’s anal sex, which defies logic, since there’s still penetration involved (and seems a whole lot more “difficult” than traditional sex).

I’m no Sex Ed teacher (although it doesn’t seem so hard to be one these days, considering my junior high Sex Ed instructor was our chorus teacher, who looked like she hadn’t had any for at least half a century), but it seems calming down our whole “losing your virginity is HUGE” speech is the best way to help teenagers understand the sexual experience as a whole.

There’s a lot more to being sexually active than traditional copulation, and letting someone in your backdoor because you’re afraid to open the front one is no way begin a healthy, confident sex life.

Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating slightly. There are some guys out there that will put some effort into making sure their woman is satisfied. I think it’s more that they like to hear that they’ve made you happy then actually making you happy, but I’m a little bitter right now towards men. Forgive me.

If you’re just desperate to enhance your sexual experience, you can now spend $1,800 every four months for the G-Shot, an injection meant to expand your G-Spot. The collagen that women have been injecting into their lips for years to create a more pillowy, Angelina Jolie look can now be used to blow up that special place. It expands the money spot into the size of a quarter, and though results may vary, it just might possibly better your booty time.

Now, I have a couple of qualms with this. One—have these women never heard of the clitoris? Has it not been scientifically proven that the woman’s clit is the equivalent to the man’s dick? Is it that hard to have your man, or yourself reach on down there and rub a little? Or what about just a really great, extended foreplay session?

Sex is a give and take, lovely little game. We’re stimulated one way, them in another way. Why not just work out with your partner what works best for both of you? Talking about it is a great way of opening up communication lines, and you both may learn something about the opposite sex. Exploring and figuring it out in a hot, hands on manner is even more fun. If you have a guy that just won’t work that hard—sounds like it’s time to kick him to the curb.

Next—the list of side effects for this ridiculously over-priced thing is enormous. Everything from yeast infections, to pain during sex, and damage to nearby organs. What? One of the other side effects is a constant feeling of stimulation which… I guess that’s a problem during, like, church. But honestly—you can seriously mess things up down there by doing this. It just doesn’t seem worth it.

I guess if you’re desperate for some sexual satisfaction and have two grand to throw around this is an option. But I really feel as though you might need to sit down and think about why you have such a hard time climaxing. Work out the self-esteem issues and get wild in bed before you try this. Or buy a rabbit.