The first time I ever watched porn was completely by accident. I think I watched a movie, fell asleep, and woke up to people doin’ it. I was curious, but mostly disinterested, so I just turned it off and walked away.

Since then, my experiences with porn have varied. There’s been a lot of nights sitting around drinking with friends and watching the weirdest videos we can find, but there have also been times when I’ve used porn as a tool — just like everyone else does — without putting much thought into the people performing or directing the movies. That was until I saw some videos that completely freaked me out.

The videos were part of a documentary about a hardcore porn director who was raping and sexually assaulting his actresses during “casting calls,” and then manipulating and guilting them into performing by telling them they were being “difficult,” “uncooperative,” and “unprofessional.” My head nearly exploded and my heart nearly broke for these women — I don’t care if they are porn stars, they still have a right to say no, and they certainly shouldn’t be coerced into performances they’re uncomfortable with.

But the thing is — how do you know when actors are performing out of their own volition and not being forced to do something they don’t want to do? Is there a way to know? I enjoy porn as much as the next person, but I’m certainly not okay with watching someone being exploited or abused.

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Question for Tuffy? Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her column, which used to run every other Tuesday, but, starting in two weeks, will run every flipping Tuesday! Ask away!!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m probably the least experienced person I know. Here’s a secret: I may have been kissed before but it was one of those sexless pecs so no real love there. I feel really awkward. I’ve had plenty of boyfriends but I’m really shy about sex. None of them has even gotten close. I’m only a freshmen in college but I’ve been here a while and have had opportunities to hook up ( I try however to avoid alcohol so some parties I won’t go to).

Anyway I was hoping to hook up with my crush but I don’t think I could tell him I like him or anything really. We hang out in groups a lot but I want to know how can I tell if he likes me? And if he does, how to confess?

Sincerly,

VERY Shy

Dear VERY Shy,

First of all, honey, be safe, please. Always use condoms EVERY TIME, no matter what. Okay? Got it? For real. It’s not worth the risk, EVER.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way: Read More »