Jill Grimes, MD, is a board-certified family practice physician in Austin, TX. She is an associate editor for the 5-Minute Clinical Consult textbook, and clinical instructor at UMASS Medical School.  Her book, Seductive Delusions: How Everyday People Catch STDs, proves how serious STDs are for all of us – yes, even you! We had a chance to speak with Jill and she had this to share with everyone at CollegeCandy:

Okay, ladies, it’s time for a sneak peak behind closed exam-room doors. Outside, we are bombarded with the constant message that sex is all about fun, excitement, and personal empowerment – our bodies, our choice. Inside, however, we see a disconnect between these choices and unexpected consequences. People like “us”- whether that’s preppy Greeks, computer geeks, scholarship athletes, nurturing elementary ed majors, intense pre-law or pre-med majors, or any other student – these aren’t the kind of people who would be at risk of carrying a sexually transmitted disease, right?

WRONG!

As a private practice family physician located near a major university, I’m here to give you the REAL scoop about the STDs we diagnose every day, in women just like you.

The majority of my patients have had fewer sexual partners than they can count on one hand, and yet my colleagues and I diagnose genital herpes, chlamydia, and HPV (either obvious genital warts or abnormal Pap smears) like crazy! To be honest, one of the most common things we hear when we diagnose someone with genital herpes is “but there’s NO WAY I can have herpes, because I haven’t even had sex yet!” Of course, they’ve had oral sex, but they didn’t realize that cold sores = Herpes and cold sores in the mouth + genitals = Herpes down low. Read More »

The days of pure, innocent and hard-to-get women are long gone. At least that’s what a new poll out of the U.K. has found. According to More magazine (the U.K. version, not the one in the U.S. for women over the age of 50), young women are having more sex than men.

Lots more!

Women have more partners, more one night stands and are more willing to talk about it than their male counterparts. That last fact may contribute to some skewed statistics (men may be having lots of sex but just don’t want to talk about it), but the trend highlighted in this poll is definitely right on target.

The modern woman is no longer waiting for her prince to swoop down and give her a happy ending; she is out there getting it (again and again) on her own. We don’t need to be in love to express our sexuality. We don’t need to be married to enjoy the natural, carnal instincts men have been enjoying since the beginning of time.

This poll proves that women are just as sexual of creatures as men, and that we view sex in similar ways. Women are not always out there to “find love” or “get serious”; many of us are out there looking for a little fun.

And it looks like we are finding it. The world of sex and love is changing, and women are coming out on top (pun intended).

[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]

Nina Hartley is an extremely successful adult film star with 650 different video appearances under her belt. Starting off as an exotic dancer in the ‘80s, she is now a published author and an award winning actress for both sexual and non-sexual roles. I met Nina when we both served on a panel about modern sexuality for the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco. I asked her to give me some of her wise wisdom about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

Me: Do you think sexual freedom (through porn, sex outside of relationships, etc.) is good for the advancement women, or detrimental to the advancement of their self esteem?

Nina: Sexual freedom and autonomy are vital components of women’s greater equality in society. We are adults, not children in need of protection. Whether or not a woman’s exercise of this freedom is good or bad for her depends upon her making choices that are consistent with her values and beliefs. When we do things that go against our understanding of ourselves and the world, bad things usually happen as a result. My choices wouldn’t be good ones for very many women, nor would their choices be good for me.

M: We all know the key to being sexy is confidence. Do you have any special advice for being, or even just appearing, confident? Perhaps something you picked up through the industry? Read More »

Being in a relationship is great, but getting there totally sucks. You meet someone, start to like that someone and then go crazy trying to figure out if they like you, why they aren’t calling, if you should text them, if you should have kissed them, if telling them you love The Hills was too much information…

It sucks, which is why I think one-night stands are the way to go. Seriously, if you are safe (read: wrap that sh*t up) the one-night engagement is a total win/win. And here are 5 reasons why: Read More »

Here at CollegeCandy, a lot of the writers are constantly criticized for their sexual choices so much that the word “slut” can be found in just about any article related to sex. Other females (and some males) feel that it is important to pass judgement on others who do not share the same beliefs and practices as themselves.

I am one of the many college girls that sees no problem in being young and enjoying a little (or a lot) sex every once in a while. But as thousands of college freshmen are planning on partaking in some type of sexual activity once arriving on campus, many of them will forget about the most important thing: being safe.

On a recent outing with some girlfriends, we encountered a group of men on a street corner belting out bible verses and holding large signs displaying all the things God supposedly hates (pre-marital sex, homosexuality, drunkeness and so on). As one of the men saw us walking by, he stopped mid-verse, turned to us and said “Did you know that 1 in 4 teen girls will catch in STD?” We all looked at him in disgust and walked away (the nerve!), but secretly I wanted to hang my head in shame, because I was the one girl he was referring to. Read More »

In yesterday’s Candy Dish, we linked out to a story that gave advice on how to be the best hookup. Not in a “do this with your tongue” sort of way, but more of a “be courteous and don’t overstay your welcome” deal. We thought the topic was a great one, but upon further inspection I realized that I didn’t quite agree with the tips that were given.

In fact, they made me sort of angry.

The writer’s tips can be summed up simply as, “Get up, get out, and make sure you look pretty when ya do it.” What? Is it 1950? Is there a reason the woman should have to tip toe (literally) around the sleeping prince? Should she have to exit quietly so as not to disturb his life?

You spent the night with a guy – which is your right – so why should you feel like a trampy nobody in the morning? Own it. Be there. Enjoy it.

In response to their post, we are going to give you our tips. And not make you feel bad for gettin’ frisky with a strapping young lad:

They Said: Get up and get out.

We Say: Unless you don’t like the idea of morning sex, we recommend sticking around for a bit. You are already there, why not enjoy a morning activity that both of you are clearly going to want? And if morning sex isn’t your thing, don’t sneak out. That just looks shady. Wake the boy up, tell him you had a great time but have to get back home, and kiss him goodbye.

They Said: Kiss Him Goodbye

We Say: We do agree with this one; no matter how bad the hookup (and you know some of those college boys have no clue what they are doing) give him a kiss goodbye. If you liked it, leave your number. It is a tad strange to spend an entire evening naked with someone and doing many a-naughty thing only to get all shy and run out in the morning. Plus, why should you run? You didn’t force this guy to take you home – he invited you. Don’t feel weird about it in the morning. Read More »

Growing up, I always had a very large and disproportionate sense of my own dignity. I was not to be troubled by these impurities of the flesh; I buried my nose in books and ignored the swirling talk of the girls around me. When I hit puberty, I felt violated somehow, as if my body had betrayed me by being real after all, and being a major pain.

While other girls in my class talked easily about their experiences and commiserated about cramps, I was mortified by the whole experience and didn’t want to talk about it to anyone — not to parents, doctors, or friends. The whole business was just embarrassing and shouldn’t be mentioned except when absolutely necessary, I thought.

Only after years of getting older and wiser have I lost some of my adolescent self-consciousness and become comfortable telling someone when I have cramps (in case they haven’t guessed from me being doubled up on the floor). I still don’t have much tolerance for discussing sex, though. I don’t mind it when others talk, but I’d blush like mad to speak about it myself. So am I just a Puritan, or is there a place in the world for the bashful as well? Read More »

We talk about sex a lot on this site. That is pretty obvious to anyone who reads it. We like sex. We like being free to make our own choices about who to have sex with, how soon, how many partners and which way we are going to do it. We like to share our stories. We like to hear yours.

But what we absolutely do not want to do is send the message that sexual freedom and inhibition is a risk free lifestyle.

Recently, two writers from Jezebel – a website for women aged 25-35 – were invited onto Lizz Winstead’s show, Thinking and Drinking, to discuss their decisions to blog quite openly about their sexcapades and the message they send by writing about them (graphically) on the internet. Winstead, a former writer for The Daily Show, is a strong advocate of sexual empowerment and freedom, but argues it “can only be called a freedom if you protect yourself from rape, disease and pregnancy.”

Tracie Egan and Moe Tkacik, the Jezebel bloggers – who we have quoted and referenced many times before – showed up to the interview drunk and what they said caused quite a stir in the CollegeCandy office.

You can see the clip here: Read More »