[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he's really thinking. So every week we'll be throwing out a topic for debate...and unlike our fave dude, these guys won't be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

There are a lot of important numbers in college girls’ life – phone numbers, street numbers, number of times you been Facebook-tagged in an outfit, number of times you’ve considered dropping out of college, the number of calories in your next late-night study sesh meal. But there’s one number in particular that’s bound to stir up a commotion, whether it’s zero or in the double digits:

The number of people you’ve had sex with.

It seems now that the question isn’t just “Should you tell him your ‘number’?” anymore. It’s “Is the guy entitled to know something as personal as the number of people you’ve bedded”? And even more, “Does it really matter?!”

First and foremost, let’s just go ahead and get the health aspect of disclosing your “number” squared away. Many would argue that the person you’re dating has a right know your “number” as it could be a concern to their sexual health in terms of contracting an STD. I wholeheartedly disagree. The person you’re sleeping with has the right to know if you’re healthy, not how many people you’ve slept with. If they want proof of your sexual health, get tested.

With that said, I believe that your number is a very personal thing and is not something that you should be guilted or cajoled into disclosing. Yes, it’s important because it’s personal, but it’s not something your significant other should take personally. It’s your number and in most cases, it has nothing to do with them.

And that road goes both way, ladies. Read More »

There are over 100 million sites on the Internet. 100 million! You might think you know about all the important ones (CollegeCandy, Gmail, Google, TFLN…), but there are thousands of other sweet sites out there (like Yummly Dad’s on Vacation, and Covet) and more showing up every day! We get it – it’s not easy or fun sifting through the crap and porn to find those gems, so we’re gonna bring the gems to you. Just sit back, kick up those feet and allow us to introduce you to the diamonds in the internet rough.]

In our technology-centered culture, we’ve created online ways to monitor virtually everything in our lives, including our bank accounts, diet and exercise, school work, to-do lists, music we listen to, personal relationships, and even our sex lives.  Yeah, you read that last one right–if you’ve ever wondered just how often you get lucky, then you should check out Bedposted, a site dedicated to helping people keep track of all of their sexual encounters.

To get started using the site, prospective users have to enter their e-mail addresses and then wait for an invitation to arrive in their inbox.  Once you receive an invitation, you’ll be able to set up an account with the site and start cataloging all of your bedroom adventures. Read More »

It’s no secret that everyone wants honestly in their relationship, but there are some things we just DON’T want to know (or want them to know!).  Much like you wouldn’t disclose to your man exactly what happened between you and his roommate freshman year, here’s a list of things we definitely do not want to hear from guys we’re gettin’ down with:

1. His “Number”: I admit that sometimes I get curious and I’m tempted to ask, but I resist! I really don’t wanna know how many other chicks he’s gotten naked with, especially if I’m into him.

2. Bowel movements: Even if the relationship is years old, there should still be a little mystery in the bathroom. He should tell his frat brothers about what he’s doing/did/about to do (in graphic detail) in there, not me.

3. Anything positive about his ex: I don’t care if she was pretty, smart, a good cook, or great in bed. It’s best not to mention her at all, but if he must, we prefer to hear that she was some variation of a crazy person who didn’t fulfill his needs and has much, much smaller boobies. Also… Read More »

Whenever I find myself at the mall (which, unfortunately for my savings account, is way too much), I can’t help but stop in Claire’s to pick up some super cheap studs and a few headbands. (Don’t judge.) And every time, without fail, there’ s a group of trying-too-hard-uncomfortable-in-their-skin preteens buying up those ugly jelly bracelets like its their job. Flashbacks of my own horrible purchases (and the terrible need to sell my soul to be part of the click) force me out of the store as quickly as possible, as I chalk up the rubber things as a fleeting fad in preteen fashion.

But a recent article now has me thinking that these girls are a whole new generation of slut, wearing their sexual history on their sleeves.

The gist of the article is that a middle school in Colorado has banned rubber bracelets because they believe the students are participating in “snap games.” No, that’s not some sort of game where you pull back the rubber bracelet and snap your friend’s wrist to make her scream bloody murder. It’s actually when students wear different bracelets to represent their participation in certain sexual acts.

Pause.
WHAT!? Read More »

I had the perfect relationship. We met in my junior year of high school, and continued to date for the next year. While I had already lost my virginity prior to meeting my high school sweetheart, he had not (as far as I knew). During the first couple weeks of our relationship, I avoided the topic of virginity like the plague, as I didn’t want to rehash my embarrassing and somewhat regretted first time.

The time eventually came for us to get it on, and while I hadn’t asked if he still carried is v-card, after our first time lasted a good 10 minutes I figured I had not been the one to take his innocence. (What? Guys with their v-cards tend to finish at just the thought of getting some…)

Shortly after, the big conversation rolled around and I found out that I was indeed his first. I fessed up to my previous experience, and it seemed to be cool with him. He told me he was relieved that I knew what I was doing, as he was without a clue. It was a constant joke in our relationship that I had been the one who corrupted him, ha ha ha. Read More »

Blonde is my natural hair color. I rarely drink this much. I’m enjoying being single.

We all lie, in some form or another. We lie to our parents (it’s not a hangover; it’s a stomach bug), our teachers (I’m late because the bus was delayed, not because I forgot to set my alarm), our employers (it’s my mom’s birthday, not some girl in my hall’s 21^st) and our sexual partners (you’re the best I’ve ever had!).

Lying to someone you’re sleeping with is dangerous territory, though. By lying to them, you could be endangering their physical (or mental) health. Which lies are OK to tell, and what things do we have to fess up too?

Lie: I’ve never worn this lingerie for anyone else.

Verdict: OK. We all have a favorite pair of lingerie, and we’ve probably worn it with more than one partner. After all, good lingerie is expensive, and we shouldn’t have to throw it out just because a relationship ends. But your partner probably doesn’t want to know what you wore last time you canoodled with someone else, so it’s okay to keep that information to yourself, or fib a little if it comes up.

Lie: I never slept with [insert friend here].

Verdict: BAD. The truth will come out eventually, and it will not be pretty. How would you feel if you found out one of your partner’s close friends was actually someone they used to sleep with? It’s best to have this information up front. Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I am not in a serious relationship, so I don’t have sex very often. When I do, though, it always hurts. Sometimes even more than the first time. Why is that? Is there something I can do so it doesn’t hurt anymore?

A: Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry! Sex is supposed to be fun, right? Isn’t sex always easy, painless, and orgasmic in the movies? Maybe so, but what you’re experiencing is not uncommon in real life.  In fact, I suffered from the same problem myself back when I was in my twenties.  Have you seen a gynecologist about this issue? There are a number of reasons you may be experiencing pain, and your doctor might be able to help you. Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

After so many of you wrote in to ask Dr. Lissa Rankin questions during CollegeCandy’s STD Awareness Day, we thought we’d bring her back more regularly. So, every Thursday she will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I feel very uncomfortable with all things sex. I am not very experienced and get really nervous when the opportunity arises. How can I fix that?

A: To answer your question completely, I would want to know more about you. Why are you uncomfortable with all things sex?  Is it because you’re young and inexperienced, or have you had past experiences, such as rape or sexual molestation, that rock your foundations and understandably lead to uncomfortable feelings regarding sex?  And how is your relationship with your sexual partner?  Many people are uncomfortable with sexual activity when they don’t know or trust their partner well.  Are you uncomfortable because you don’t really understand your body? Or are you having pain?  There are many reasons why someone might feel uncomfortable with sex.  Sometimes, those feelings arise to protect you and are worth honoring. But sometimes, they get in the way of sexual bliss and can cause problems. Read More »

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We took the embarrassment (and speculum!) factor out of the equation and asked you, the CollegeCandy readers, to submit the questions you had regarding STDs and sexual health to our new pal, OB/GYN Dr. Lissa Rankin. Check out the first batch of questions she answered and get the rest of the info below:

1. If you have a high risk strain of HPV and so does your current partner, will my chances of it progressing to cervical cancer increase if we do not use a condom, and just use birth control? I am positive he is also monogamous.

Bummer about the HPV, but rest assured, you’re so not alone. As many as 80% of sexually active young people will test positive for HPV, even in the absence of symptoms.  If you and your partner already have a high risk strain of HPV and you’re both completely monogamous, using a condom probably won’t help you unless there are other strains of HPV or other STDs that the two of you have not already transmitted to each other.  Whether or not your high risk HPV leads to precancerous changes of the cervix, or worse, cervical cancer, has much more to do with how well your immune system functions.  The best thing you can do to avoid cervical cancer once you have high risk HPV is to eat a whole foods, healthy diet, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, take a multivitamin, manage your stress in healthy ways, and generally take good care of your body – all things that strengthen your immune system.  If you have access to an integrative medicine physician or a naturopathic doctor, there are herbal formulas that can help your body naturally fight the HPV.  Read More »

A few weeks back one of our writers started a discussion about the infamous number. No, not your SAT score; the number of people you have slept with. She (ever so eloquently, I must add) offered the idea that any guy worth her time would not care about how many guys had lifted her skirt before.

I really wanted that to be true, but knowing how much people talk about “the number” I had some doubts that anyone would find a guy who would ignore it completely. Clearly people care about the issue – why else would everyone keep track?

I turned to my male friends for some insight: should I worry about how many people I have slept with? Do guys care about my number?

He Said:

What’s in a number? Well, when talking about past partners with your special someone, it’s how many penises have been inside your girlfriend, that’s what. Who she’s slept with is just not a good thing to think about. But does it really matter?

Personally, I could care less. Not that her sexual history isn’t important, but assigning value to the number itself is arbitrary and basically meaningless. As long as I’m not at risk of catching something (which should be confirmed in an entirely different conversation, btw), I don’t see how the number of people makes any difference in our relationship. Read More »